After Diaz informed Walt that he would file a detailed report in the morning, Diaz, Jessie, Spence, and Crush made their way back to the lodge. It was time to pack up and take their leave of the Devil’s Skulls.
Crush was going to take care of informing his gang about what went down with Rex, Nate, and the others. He also said it was time to clean house with the Skulls, root out anyone else sympathetic to the survivalists. That wasn’t an element he wanted in the Skulls. He was still pissed as hell about his gang being used that way.
Crush was going to be busy.
“So this is it?” Crush asked, leaning against the wall of Diaz and Jessie’s cabin. Spence had already packed up and checked out of his room at the lodge and was now seated on Diaz’s sofa.
“This is it. Other than some paperwork, we’re finished here. The Feds will want to take a statement from you and possibly some of the others, see what you can tell them about Rex, Nate, and the rest of them.”
Crush nodded. “Yeah, they told me. I’ll do what I can to help. I still can’t believe this was going on right under my nose. Really pisses me off.”
“They didn’t want you to know. They’re good at hiding their activities,” Jessie said.
“I guess.”
“But we got them,” Spence said. “And you helped.”
Crush grinned. “Yeah. This is probably the most fun I’ve had in years on one of these rides.”
Spence laughed. “Don’t get to take down criminals very often?”
“No, not often.”
Diaz went over to him and held out his hand. “You did good. We couldn’t have done this without you.”
Crush shook Diaz’s hand. “Like I said. I enjoy adventure, and this is one to tell the grandkids someday.”
“Just don’t use our names in the story,” Jessie said with a wink.
“I’ll be purposely vague.”
Diaz zipped up his bag, and they all walked outside.
“Anytime any of you want to ride with the Skulls, you’re welcome to join in. You’re members now and you always will be.”
Diaz grinned at Crush. “Might just do that. I need to get away now and then. And I like this area.”
“Give me a call. I’ll ride with you anytime.”
They said their good-byes and headed out. Rather than wait until morning, Diaz wanted to ride back to Wild Riders’ headquarters tonight. Spence and Jessie agreed there was no point in lingering at the lodge.
He figured they were all anxious to get back. Everyone had things to do. The mission was over.
It was time to go home.
Time to get back to reality.
And definitely time for a reality check. If anyone needed one of those, it was Diaz. He needed to talk to Grange.
Then he needed to talk to Jessie.
EIGHTEEN
HOME. JESSIE WAS HAPPY TO GET BACK TO WILD RIDERS’ HEADQUARTERS. It was always good to see Grange and whichever of the guys happened to be hanging around at the time.
Now, though, she wished it was just her and Diaz. She wanted some time alone with him, to talk to him about what happened that last night with Rex. She knew it bothered him. Like so many other things bothered him.
But they hadn’t had a moment alone since they got back two days ago. First he’d been holed up with Grange, then busy filing reports. She had to give her report, too. If it wasn’t one thing it was another.
She kicked the wastebasket in her room, stood, and began pacing, her arms crossed.
Diaz was avoiding her. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that out. He wasn’t being subtle about it, either. Oh sure, she knew they’d had that whole conversation about there being nothing between them, about how there could only be the mission and they couldn’t have a personal relationship. But that was all his doing, not hers. And she knew why. She got his reluctance. She understood.
But there were a few things Diaz needed to understand, and she was tired of him making all the rules. It was time for her to start making some.
While he’d been busy the past couple of days doing his damndest to avoid her, she’d also been busy. Thinking. And when she did her thinking, she thought hard. She’d finally figured out the puzzle of Jessie and Diaz, and how it fit. How they fit. And they did fit.
Time for Diaz to realize she wasn’t going away just because he willed it.
But first she had to talk to Grange. Diaz wasn’t going to like that, either, but too bad. They weren’t on a mission any longer and she was free to do whatever she wanted.
She slid off the bed and went downstairs to Grange’s office, rapping lightly on his door.
“What?”
She smiled at the gruff tone of his voice. It never failed to amuse her. “It’s Jessie.”
“Come on in.”
She stepped into his war room and took a seat in the chair across from his desk, waiting until he finished up whatever he was keying into his computer.
“Okay,” he said, finally looking up at her.
She studied his face, the lines streaming out from his eyes, the years of wear on his skin that told of so many battles he’d fought and won. More than physical battles, too. She’d never admired a man more than she admired General Grange Lee. And he was the only father figure she had ever known. She trusted him with her life.
“I’m in love with Diaz.”
True to form, he didn’t even blink. Nothing anyone said could ever shock or surprise the man. “You are, huh?”
“Yes.”
“Does he love you back?”
“I believe he does, yes. But he keeps pushing me away.”
“Because . . .”
“His parental history. His father.”
“Ah.” Grange steepled his fingers and looked over them at Jessie. “He’s afraid of hurting you.”
She nodded. “Which he won’t. I know him. Probably better than he knows himself. He’s incapable of hurting me.”
“He’s not perfect, Jessie. He does have some issues.”
“I’m fully aware of that. But his issues aren’t with me. He has never, would never, hurt me. He needs to understand that.”
“And how are you going to convince him?”
“Oh, I have an idea.”
“Do I want to know what it is?”
She grinned. “Probably not.”
He shook his head. “So why are you telling me this?”
She stood, went around his desk, and kissed his cheek. “In case you hear a lot of yelling and screaming. I didn’t want you to worry. I can handle Diaz.”
As she was heading out the door, she heard his low chuckle. “If anyone can, Jess, it’s you.”
She was glad Grange had such confidence in her. That confidence flagged when she reached the door to Diaz’s room. She raised her hand to knock, then paused, sucked in a breath.
Come on Jessie. You want this. Don’t let him bully you into running away.
She rapped hard three times.
No answer. Figured. He probably knew it was her, or maybe he was intending to ignore everyone.
“Diaz?”
“I’m busy, Jess.”
She turned the knob and opened the door, shutting it behind her.
He was seated at his desk, staring at his computer. He turned and glared at her.
“What part of ‘I’m busy, Jess’ didn’t you get?”
“I decided to ignore you.” She stepped into the room and took a seat on the side of his bed. His glare didn’t get any friendlier. Tough. She wasn’t leaving until they had it out.
He heaved a great big sigh that she was certain was all for effect, then pushed his chair around to face her. “Fine. What is it?”
“I want to talk about what happened with Rex.”
He swiveled his chair back around to face his computer. “I don’t need psychoanalyzing, but thanks.”
Rolling her eyes, she stood and moved to his desk, planting her hip against it. “I’m not psychoanalyzing you. I think you’re upset by what happened.”
“You do. And what do you base this on?”
“The fact that I know you, that I can read your body signals. You’ve been tense, quiet, you haven’t said much around the guys, and you haven’t talked to me since we got back.”
“I’ve been busy since we got back, and I don’t need to hold hands with the guys. And you and I are hardly BFFs, Jess.”
She fought a grin. “BFFs?”
“Or whatever the kids call it. I try to stay up on the lingo. Is that wrong?”
“No, it was accurate. And why can’t we be . . . BFFs?”
Another sigh. “Jess, really. I’ve got a lot of work to do.”
“You’re avoiding me, Diaz—all because you beat the hell out of Rex.”
“No. Because I’ve got to file reports, work with the federal liaison on this case so we can get our part closed. Paperwork. As mission leader, that’s my job.”
“It’s more than that.” She crossed her arms and stared him down, refusing to believe that paperwork had anything to do with his mood since he returned. She knelt before him, stroking the top of his hand, softening her voice. “Talk to me, Diaz. Please.”
His gaze narrowed, then he let out a sigh. “He tried to kill you. What was I supposed to do?”
Now they were getting somewhere. “I appreciate you defending me. You saved my life, you know.” She squeezed his hand. “I haven’t even had the opportunity to thank you for that.”
He jerked his hand away and stood, moving to the window. “It’s my job to keep the members of my team safe. That’s all there is to it.”
She stood and followed. “Is that why you went after Rex so hard? Because you were keeping a team member safe?”
“No. Yes.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know. Get out, Jessie.”
She came closer, breathing him in. The scent of him never failed to arouse her. Her nipples tightened. He noticed. Animal passion fired up silently between them, hanging in the air, invisible, but like a steel chain holding them in place.
He stared her down, his gaze hard and unyielding. “I already told you this will never work between us.”
“Because you’re afraid you’ll hurt me.”
He didn’t speak for what had to be a full minute, the longest minute of her life. She refused to move, refused to say anything until he did.
“Yes, dammit. Because I’m afraid I’ll hurt you. You saw what I did to Rex, what I did to that other guy during initiation. I have that violence in me, Jessie, and someday I’ll turn it on you.”
“You don’t use it against someone you love, Diaz. You’ve never hurt me.”
“It’s only a matter of time.”
This was where she had to throw the gauntlet down. This was where she had to test him.
She eased back, exhaled. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m wasting my time and making a fool of myself chasing after you.”
She saw the confusion in his eyes, and knew she had to follow through. “I’m tired, Diaz. So damn tired of throwing myself at you and having you push me away. I’m a full-grown woman and I have a woman’s needs and desires. It’s damn time I find someone who’ll fulfill those desires for me.”
She pushed off the desk and moved toward the door.
“Jessie, what are you talking about?”
“You asked me before why I remained a virgin for so long. I told you because I was picky. I think it’s time I stop being so picky. You taught me to love sex, Diaz. And you taught me about love. I’ve decided I want them both in my life. If you refuse to give them to me, I’m going to find someone who will.”
She opened the door to his room, walked out, and headed to her own.