“So do you want to talk about the assignment now, seeing as we’re both still here?” He asked eagerly and I knew that Holden was not going to get the hint.
“I have to take the coffee’s and croissants back for Rhett and his friend Tomas.” I shook my head. “They are waiting on me. And I don’t have my books. We’ll talk on the phone later.”
“I can come back with you if you want.” He asked eagerly. “Maybe we can—”
“Holden, no.” I shook my head. “I’ll call you later.” I sighed.
“Am I coming on too strong?” He made a face.
“It’s not that, but you know I have a boyfriend.”
“I can wait.”
“Wait for what?” I asked stupidly, and immediately regretted it.
“For when you break up.” He smiled weakly and my eyes bore into his with what I hoped to be a look of disdain. “Sorry.” He followed up quickly. “That was wrong of me.”
“Yeah it was.” I sighed. Maybe Rhett had been right. Maybe Holden was after more than friendship. And then I started laughing at myself. I could see from Holden’s face that he was confused, but I didn’t care. There was no maybe about it. Holden was definitely interested in me. And if I was honest, it made me feel kind of good. Though it also made me feel guilty. Was I emotionally cheating on Rhett if I liked the fact that a very handsome and smart guy was interested in me?
“Are you okay, Clementine?” Holden’s eyes searched mine. “I’m sorry for being inappropriate. I should have just apologized and left it at that.”
“Yes, you should have.” I touched his shoulder. “Look Holden, I’m not interested like that, but if you want to stay friends that’s fine. Please don’t try and kiss me again.”
“I can’t promise I’m not going to hope for more.” He grinned. “That’s okay, right?”
“Holden!”
“What?” He laughed. “Stranger things have happened. Do you know how many people meet when someone is dating someone else? A lot, that’s how many. I know you don’t want to think about that now, but it’s just life. This could be how our story starts.”
“Holden!” I exclaimed again. “Please don’t.”
“It’s true.” He grinned. “There are movies based on love stories like this. We’ll look back and laugh at this.”
“You’re making me uncomfortable.” I told him honestly and turned to see if my coffees were ready.
“You’re not in South Carolina anymore, Clementine. There’s a whole big world out there. A world that exists outside of your friendship with Rhett. From what I’ve seen—”
“Stop.” I held my hand up. “You don’t know me and you don’t know Rhett. Just stop.”
“Just because it’s comfortable doesn’t mean it’s right.” He said softly. “You can’t stay in a cocoon, just because he’s the only one you’ve ever known.”
“You don’t know my life, Holden.” I said angrily as I grabbed my coffees.
“I know more than you think.” He grabbed his coffee and walked outside the store with me. “I dated my high school girlfriend for years. And then we both went to college and we realized that what we had was nothing compared to what we could have.”
‘That’s sad. Everything isn’t bigger and better.”
“You’re better.” We stopped outside my building. “I know that and we’ve never even been on a date.”
“How could you possibly know that?” I pulled out my keys.
“I knew it the moment we had our first conversation.” He smiled at me gently. “I knew it when I looked into your eyes. As soon as I saw you, I knew you were the one.”
“Holden, that’s awfully romantic, but I already told you that—”
“It’s okay.” He smiled at me. “I’m a patient guy. When something’s meant to be, it’ll be. Love isn’t meant to be hard. Love isn’t based on lies. Love isn’t comfortable. Love just is.”
“I’ll call you later, Holden.” I opened the door quickly and ran inside and then shut it firmly. Was Holden a psychopath? I could feel my heart beating at his words. Why was he saying those things to me? He didn’t even know me. Holden had made me very uncomfortable, but he had made me think as well. Was I letting Rhett get away with too much? Had I made it too easy on him? He’d done whatever he wanted whenever he wanted and I’d just been there sitting on the sidelines. And as soon as I’d started dating and he’d realized he was falling for me, I’d become his. I hadn’t made it hard on him. Even now, he was doing what he wanted without thinking about me. Did he really love me? Or was I just a possession to him that he didn’t want anyone else to have. I walked up the stairs slowly thinking hard. Was this for real? Was he really the one? Had I made things too easy for him? Was he going to tire of me? And if he did, would I lose him forever? Would I even want to be friends with him if he broke my heart? I stopped outside our door and leaned against the wall as I struggled to gain my composure. Everything had moved so quickly and everything wasn’t going as smoothly as I’d hoped for. I didn’t feel like I was living in the dream I’d always imagined my love story to be. I didn’t feel any real romance from Rhett. I didn’t feel like he really truly adored me. All he ever seemed to want was sex. He never surprised me with flowers or a homemade meal. He never wrote me poems or letters. He never called to tell me he loved me just because. He never did any of the things I’d always dreamed about having in a relationship and I didn’t know how to tell him. I mean how could I expect anything different? He’d never been the guy that was full of romance. He’d never been the guy to sweep a girl off of her feet and I wasn’t sure why I’d hoped things would be different between us.