Claire shook her head against his chest. “No, I look awful, and I’m a terrible mother.”
Tony released his embrace and tenderly pulled Claire’s chin upward. “You are and always will be the most beautiful woman in the world. Well…” He grinned. “…you do have a little competition now, but in my eyes you’ll always win.” Gently using his thumb, he wiped the tears from her cheeks. “You’re an amazing mother. Remember we said we were going to learn this parenting thing together? Don’t you dare give up. My wife is not a quitter. You may remember that I have a rule about failure. We, my dear, won’t fail. We’re tired and our daughter has a stubborn streak.”
Claire’s weary eyes sparkled. “I wonder where she gets that.”
“Well, we could debate that all night, but I’d put my money on you.”
“Oh really, Mr. Rawlings. If you did, I believe I’d have even more of your fortune.”
“You can have whatever you want. It’s already yours.”
“Sleep…” Claire yawned. “…I want sleep.”
“All right, you can’t have that yet.” Tony glanced down to Nichol. Her cries were mere whimpers as she rooted against his chest.
Madeline entered the quieter living room with a sandwich and a glass of juice. “Madame el, this is for you. Eat and drink and then you will be ready to give Nichol what she needs.”
Claire nodded and took the glass as Madeline set the plate on the table beside her. After a long drink, she said, “Thank you, Madeline. I didn’t even realize I was thirsty.”
Tony slowly rocked Nichol while Claire ate. When she was done, Claire leaned back and unbuttoned her blouse. Handing their daughter to his wife, Tony’s gaze went from Claire’s eyes to her breast and back again.
Exhaling, Claire positioned Nichol and smiled a sly grin. “You’re incorrigible. Do you know that?”
“What?” Tony tried for his most innocent look. “What did I do?”
Before she could answer, they all stopped and stared at their contented baby girl. Nichol’s eyes closed as she eagerly nursed. The whole room held their breath, waiting for the next eruption of crying, but it didn’t occur, even whilst Claire burped Nichol and switched sides. Nichol didn’t complain. By the time she was satisfied, Madeline was gone. When Tony realized that they were alone, he moved closer and once again wrapped Claire’s shoulders in his embrace. “Do you think Madeline sprinkled some kind of fairy dust to calm Nichol down?”
“No, I think she calmed us down, which in turn calmed Nichol.”
“See, what did I say? You’re a great mother.”
Claire kissed his cheek. “And you’re a great father. I guess we can do this.”
“Together and one day at a time.”
Neither one mentioned Tony’s impending deal with the FBI. They didn’t want anything to upset them or Nichol as she finally rested contently in her mother’s arms.
Helping with the feedings, especially those in the middle of the night, was Tony’s part of together. Through trial and error, they learned that allowing Claire to rest when she could, eased some of her stress, which made Nichol more relaxed. Tony had never been one who needed a lot of sleep, and without a doubt, he grew to love his alone time with their daughter. The fact that it helped both of his ladies to flourish was a mere bonus.
The doctor had been to the island the day before and acted very pleased with both Claire’s recovery and Nichol’s progress. Sometimes they forgot that she was born earlier than expected.
Nichol’s little face scrunched and her lips formed a silent O before her contented expression returned. Did babies dream? What could they possibly dream about? Her entire life consisted of eating, sleeping, and soiling her diaper. None of that seemed like the material of dreams, in Tony’s opinion. Closing his eyes and maintaining the chair’s movement, he contemplated his dream.
He was living it, and it was grander than any dream he’d ever imagined.
His envelope was full.
It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.
—Aristotle Onassis
It has been said that everyone gets to experience a moment: an instant when clouds part, fog clears, and the world makes sense. Whether that moment reveals the meaning of all life or merely the meaning to personal existence, during that second in time when heavenly beams of light reach down and illuminate the world, the one true matter of importance in one’s life is revealed.
Perhaps it was God’s way of opening one’s eyes, or perhaps it was fate’s way of twisting a knife. No matter the cause, for Anthony Rawlings that moment of clarity occurred in the midst of chaos. As icy water fell from the ceiling of his home office, as smoke billowed through the vents and down the corridors, and as voices of unseen faces clamored for attention, Tony’s world became crystal clear. The only true meaning in his life was his family: Claire and Nichol.
He’d told his wife to stay away from the estate. It hadn’t been debatable. He and Claire had discussed their shared need to keep Nichol safe—at any cost. However, admittedly during those discussions, Tony had yet to truly comprehend the depth of Catherine’s depravity. It wasn’t until he pushed his onetime confidant into a dissertation of confessions that Tony recognized her limitless boundaries and capacity for evil.
With that newfound knowledge of murders where Tony had thought fate intervened, and years of manipulation where he’d seen friendship, Tony knew that he never wanted his family near the woman he’d trusted for most of his life. For the first time since Nathaniel had uttered the words, they will pay, their children will pay, and their children’s children, everything was crystal clear. Tony finally understood his unwanted definition: he and Claire were both children of children. Nichol was doubly so. Later, he would reflect on how Claire had tried to explain it to him. Perhaps he hadn’t been ready to understand. Now he was.