Lane laughed under his breath and reached up to settle his hat more fully on his head. This time he made sure his voice was soft, practically whispering as he muttered under his breath, “You’re a smart woman, Leo. You know what he wants and you know that he’s not going to stop until he gets it. Gotta admit, it’s gonna tickle me pink watching you try and outmaneuver him for the next few days. Cy’s really good at getting his way.”
My eyebrows dipped down to a point over the bridge of my nose. It was hard to admit the truth out loud, which was part of the reason I had been so sullen and miserable lately, but I liked Lane and I liked the open and relaxed way he had about him. Before I could stop them, the words that had been haunting me for the last few months tumbled out, sounding just as sharp and pointy as his had a moment ago. “I recently got out of a relationship with a man who was also really good at getting his own way.” I gulped and fought back the surge of foul-tasting regret and choking recrimination that worked its way up my throat. “Getting his way meant that he fucked me and then went home to a wife and his kids in the suburbs that I knew nothing about. It went on for six months. I didn’t want to date him when he first showed interest me. I didn’t want to care about him, but he out maneuvered me and all I got when I finally figured out I was being played was enough embarrassment to drown in and so much guilt that it nearly suffocated me.”
“Ouch.” Lane’s quietly murmured word and the sympathy clear on his face had my heart pressing tightly against the barbed wire I had wrapped around it. “That sucks, but sometimes the heart just chooses wrong. All you can do is wait for it to figure that out and hope it picks better the next time around.”
I gave him a look that spoke volumes about what I thought about that. “You can absolutely choose who you care about. If you’re smart about it.” Which I intended to be from here on out. I would let my brain lead and my irresponsible, reckless heart could take a backseat. The poor thing had been kicked around so much there was no wonder it wasn’t functioning the way it was supposed to.
He shook his head at me and started to pull his horse back so that he was no longer next to me. “You’re wrong, Leo. Love isn’t logical or reasonable. Our hearts make no sense.”
I watched him with narrow eyes as he dropped back and forced the dismissive dad to do the same thing and leave Emrys’s side. She gave the youngest Warner a relieved smile and nudged her horse so that she was closer to me, as Lane forced the middle-aged philanderer back in line so he was riding in front of the two other men who hadn’t said a word to any of us or to each other all morning long.
“Thank you, Commander Cockblock. For the last half an hour I’ve been envisioning kicking him off his horse. If I had to listen to his catalogue of his investments any longer, I was going to throw myself off the side of the mountain.” She sounded disgruntled and properly disgusted. “I can’t believe he was hitting on me right in front of his wife and kids. The man has no shame.”
I nodded in agreement. “And no class.”
She muttered a dirty word under her breath as I swatted at a mosquito that landed on the side of my neck. The hotter it got, the more the bugs decided I was a feast and I hadn’t had enough time this morning to slather myself in bug spray. I was going to have to add a coat to all my visible skin when we finally stopped for lunch at midday. The brochure said we would picnic in a scenic valley that the trail led through, surrounded by wildflowers and that was often used as a resting place for much of the region’s wildlife. I didn’t care about wildflowers or wildlife, but I did want a chance to stretch out my sore muscles and the opportunity to eat some more of Brynn’s amazing food. Lunch today was the last meal that we were supposed to get without working for it. Aside from granola for breakfast and beef jerky in the case of emergency, we were really supposed to fend for ourselves for the duration of our time on the trail. It made me wish I had paid closer attention when I agreed to fly to Wyoming. I had only smuggled a jar of peanut butter into my bag just in case. I’d never caught a fish in my life and I got snippy and short tempered . . . well, snippier and even quicker to blow a fuse than normal when I was hungry.
“The wannabe Donald Trump isn’t the only one throwing out some game. I saw the way Cy grabbed your leg this morning. You two are throwing off enough sparks that I’m slightly worried you’re going to ignite a forest fire around us.” I shushed her and looked around with wide eyes hoping no one else was paying that much attention to us. Luckily Cy was talking to Meghan and the kids and Lane had the dad engaged in a low hum of conversation. The two oddly silent men hung at the way back of the pack, and every time I’d caught sight of them throughout the day, they’d had their heads bent together like they were engaged in serious conversation.
Sighing, I let my words exit on the same breath, keeping them as quiet as I could. “Gotta have fuel to start a fire and for it to burn. I’m all tapped out, Em. I don’t have anything left to go up in flames, not even a tiny bit of kindling left inside of me. I was burned once and it won’t happen again.”
She made a noise low in her throat that had her horse prancing a little closer to the edge of the trail than I was comfortable with. I watched, with a stalled breath, until she pulled the animal back in line and only exhaled once she seemed to have total control again.
“You’re not only ridiculous but you’re also oblivious. There was no spark with Chris. There was no fire and definitely no heat. He spoon fed you his perfectly crafted persona, knowing you wouldn’t fall for someone that lit you up and pushed all your buttons. He knew you wouldn’t jump into bed and let anyone in your life that consumed you and forced you to put them first. You’re full of things that are dry and brittle and you have been since you were old enough to figure out that your mom didn’t want you. The right guy isn’t going to just make you burn, he’s going to scorch all that useless shit inside of you, turning it into nothing but ash, once and for all.”