Nathan shook his head. “No . . . forget about it. It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not okay. That was a horrible thing to say, and I’m sorry. I wasn’t good at this before the end of the world, and apparently I haven’t gotten any better.”
“Good at what?”
“Loving someone.”
He raised an eyebrow, smiled, and then took me into his arms, planting a tender kiss on my lips. “I never asked for perfection.”
I breathed out a small laugh.
“But I got it, anyway.”
I touched each side of Nathan’s face and pulled him toward me, kissing his lips. Only one thing could make my life better, and I ached for my girls to reach me so we could all be together. “It’s not perfect. Not quite yet.”
“But it will be,” Nathan said, never missing a chance to reassure me.
“Uncle Skeeter, you should come meet Butch,” Zoe said.
Skeeter had just emerged from the bathroom, his skin shiny and his hair wet. His face still looked a little dirty, but it was just the tan line around his eyes from his sunglasses.
“Who’s Butch?” Skeeter said, fastening the last button of his clean shirt. He tugged at the fabric where it fit a big snug. The shirt looked expensive, white with horizontal pinstripes. It didn’t look at all like something he would normally wear.
Zoe tugged on his hand, and he went along with her as if she were too strong to resist. “He’s a cow!”
“You mean a bull?” Skeeter said, looking over at Nathan and feigning concern.
I laughed. “He seems like a good guy.”
“He is.” Nathan smiled, watching the two.
“Not at all like you’ve described Aubrey.”
“He’s nothing like her. But she wasn’t that way at first, either.”
Skeeter pretended to be too scared of Butch, and made a scene trying to break free of Zoe’s grip.
“He’s good with kids. Did he have any of his own?”
“Not yet,” Nathan said, suddenly sad. “His wife was pregnant when this all went down.” He looked at me. “Her name was Jill. She was the sweetest thing.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, kicking myself for bringing up the subject.
Nathan kissed my cheek. “We’ve all lost someone,” he said. “It’s just the way things are, now.”
Cooper and Ashley came outside, hugged and kissed like they did every time he started his patrol. “See if you can’t talk Nate into grilling chicken tonight.” He winked at Nathan before slinging a rifle over his shoulder.
I patted Nathan’s arm. “You are the best cook we’ve got.”
“I love you!” Ashley called.
“I love you more!” Cooper called back, holding out both of his arms wide, and then jogging off to the east.
“Vomit,” I said, teasing Ashley.
She stuck out her tongue. “Don’t be jelly!”
“Jelly?” Nathan asked.
“Jealous,” I said. “You’ll learn all this when Zoe gets older.
He nodded, mouthing Ah.
Skeeter jogged up to us, breathing hard from playing with Zoe. “He’s not all that scary. I think we should just cook him.”
“That’s not funny!” Ashley said, even though she was grinning. She turned to go inside. “He’s a pet!”
Nathan elbowed his brother-in-law. “You talk awfully big when he’s in a pen. Maybe we should let him out and see who wins?”
Skeeter sniffed. “I’d win.”
We all laughed, and then Nathan held up his finger, leaning his ear over like he was listening for something. Then I heard it, too. Yelling. We all looked around, and then Nathan pointed, seeing Cooper sprinting at full speed, pointing and screaming. At first I couldn’t make out what he was saying, and then Nathan froze.
His breath caught. “Oh my God. Zoe.”
Nathan took off first, and then Skeeter and I followed behind. We ran south, the same direction as Cooper, even though the barn was obscuring our view. To my horror, I saw Zoe, her arms stretched out wide, turning in slow circles in the field, with a man limping toward her less than ten feet away.
Cooper yelled again. “Zoe! Behind you! Run!”
Zoe stopped turning, but her back was to the creature behind her.
“Zoe!” Nathan yelled as he ran. “Listen to me! Run to me, baby! Run to daddy as fast as you can!”
Zoe looked at her dad quizzically, and then turned around, seeing the infected approaching. She didn’t move. Everything seemed to be in slow motion, like a dream. No matter how fast I ran, I couldn’t get to her fast enough. My heart felt like it was about to explode, between the fear and me pushing my legs as fast as they could go.
I could hear the low groan, the sound they made when they were excited. The only thing they got excited about was satisfying their constant hunger. He reached out for her, but Zoe didn’t move.
“Run, Zoe!” Nathan screamed, his voice breaking. I knew he was crying. I was, too.
Just as the creature bent down to grab at Zoe, Cooper used his entire body to tackle him to the ground. Zoe went with them.
Nathan screamed again, waving his arms, still a good twenty feet away. When we finally came upon them, Zoe was on her back, staring up at the sky, and Cooper was pummeling the infected’s skull with the butt of his rifle.
Nathan stood Zoe up and checked her over. “Were you bitten?” he said, inspecting her arms and legs, and then lifting up her shirt to look at her back. He grabbed her jaw and turned her head from one side to the other, looking at her neck.
Zoe began bawling then, and Nathan took her into his arms. Skeeter and I slowed to a stop, just in time to see the mess Cooper had left. He met my eyes, and that was when I saw the bright-red blood on his shoulder.
Cooper looked at his wound, and then fell to the ground. I kneeled beside him to inspect the mangled mess of torn skin and muscle. A large gouge had been bitten from the front part of the shoulder, all the way to the bone.
Skeeter yanked his shirt over his head and wadded it up, handing it to me. I pressed down, hard, but I knew just like everyone else that it was just for show. Cooper winced from the pressure, and then his eyes met mine.
“Cooper?” Ashley called, still distant. Her voice had an edge of fear. She knew something was wrong.
Cooper looked at me. “Don’t let her see.”
I nodded, looking up to Skeeter. “Keep her away.”
“Tell her I love her,” Cooper said, his lip quivering.
My sight blurred as tears filled them. “She knows, Coop. You showed her every second of every day.”
He smiled and nodded as Ashley yelled at Skeeter, cussing him for holding her back. “He’ll be okay!” she yelled just out of sight. “Scarlet! He’ll be okay! Don’t hurt him!”
“She’s going to hate me,” I said.
Cooper leaned forward, touching his forehead to my face, hugging me the only way he could. “I don’t want to risk turning and attacking any of you. Do it now.”
Nathan lifted Zoe into his arms, and then wiped his eyes. “Thank you, Cooper. You saved my little girl.”
Cooper nodded. “Keep Ashley safe, okay? Return the favor.”
“With my life,” Nathan said. “I owe you.”
“Don’t hurt him!” Ashley wailed. “Please!”
I leaned down to kiss his cheek, and then stood up, aimed my rifle at his temple, and pulled the trigger.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Miranda
We gathered under the tree at sunset, next to the place my father and Leah were buried. This time, around a new mound of dirt. Ashley had made the cross herself, tying it together at the intersection of wood with twine, working wild flowers into the binding. She worked on it for hours, carving decoration and Stanley Leonard Cooper II into the wood. The only time she spoke to anyone was to tell them she would not allow a funeral until his cross was finished.
We never had time to bury Jill, and Scarlet had buried my dad before we got here, so it was our first funeral. I just couldn’t believe it was for Cooper. He was the strongest and the kindest of us, it didn’t seem right that he was gone.
Skeeter, Nathan, and Bryce were filthy from digging, and then carrying Cooper’s body in from the field. I’d been inside consoling my nearly inconsolable sister. Once she finished the cross and the boys began digging Cooper’s grave, it all hit her at once, and she’d been hysterical for the better part of the day.
Now that I’d coaxed her outside, she was silent. We all were. Finally, Nathan cleared his throat.
“Stanley Cooper was the best of us. We should strive every day to be as hard working, kind, and loving as he was. He was a good friend, and brother . . .”
“And husband,” Ashley whispered. Her face crumpled, and her body shook with quiet sobs.
“And husband,” Nathan repeated, his voice breaking. “He was a hero. He saved a life. And we should all strive to live the way he did so we can see him again in heaven.
“Cooper told me once about his little sister Savannah, how close they were, how much he loved her, and he also told me he worried daily if she and his mother were alive. If they’re not, he’s with them again. Maybe we can take comfort in that.”
Bryce smiled. “I remember the first time I met Coop. It was in class, and he was staring at Ashley. Of course, I was dating the sister, so as soon as he heard that, he was automatically my best friend. Except, he didn’t fake it just to be my friend, ya know? He was a good best friend. The best.” He cleared his throat. “I’m going to miss him. The world isn’t as good without him in it, but heaven is better off.”
Scarlet smiled. “That was nice.”
“Don’t speak,” Ashley said. “Don’t talk here, Scarlet.”
Nathan took a step toward Ashley, but she pulled away. “This isn’t her fault, Ashley. She had to, you know that.”
“It’s okay,” Scarlet said, motioning to Nathan. “She gets to be angry.”
“Don’t be nice to me,” Ashley said, her emotional state quickly going downhill. “Don’t fucking be nice, Scarlet. Just don’t talk. I don’t want to hear your voice, do you understand me?”
Scarlet looked down, and nodded. Scarlet was one of the strongest women I knew, and she was letting Ashley talk to her that way in front of everyone. Even though we all knew Ashley didn’t mean a word of it, I was still in awe of Scarlet’s patience.
Nathan began to speak in Scarlet’s defense again, but Scarlet touched his arm and shook her head.
We stood out there for half an hour, crying, telling stories, laughing, and remembering. Ashley began to weave back and forth, so emotionally exhausted she could barely stand. I took her inside, supporting her weight while we walked. She went straight to bed, and cried herself to sleep.
“Hey,” Bryce said as I closed Ashley’s door. I held up my finger to my mouth. Bryce nodded, and began to whisper, “How is she?”
“The same.”
“How are you?”
“The same.” Bryce put his arm around my shoulder and guided me to the empty living room. “Where is everyone?”
“Joey is on watch. Scarlet said it might be a good idea to get onto the roof, so Joey found a ladder and climbed up. He said he can see a lot farther. We’ll have better warning this way.”
I nodded.
“Nathan is with the girls. Skeeter and Scarlet went down the road.”
“Clearing?”
Bryce nodded.
“Just the two of them? After what happened?”
“I’m going with them. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
I took a deep breath. “I know Scarlet feels like she needs to do this, but I think it’s time we accept that her girls aren’t coming. It’s been nearly four months now.”
Bryce shrugged. “I don’t know. It took Nate and Coop almost all day to cross fifteen miles. That’s a long way for two little girls if they’re on foot. I think if they don’t make it by winter, we can call it.”
“That’s a long time to let her hope.”
“Not long enough if you ask me.” He kissed my forehead. “See you soon.”
“Be careful.”
I watched Bryce leave, jogging to catch up to Scarlet and Skeeter, who were already out of sight down the road. My stomach felt like it dropped, and I wondered if it was a good idea for him to be alone at all, even for the few minutes it would take him to join Scarlet and Skeeter.
Once Bryce was over the hill, I pushed the door open, and noticed the ladder against the roof. One hand after another, I climbed to the top, seeing Joey sitting on the seam with a hunting rifle, a box of ammunition, and what I was sure was my father’s best scope.
“Want some company?” I asked.
Joey looked up to the sun and squinted. “Always.”
I sat down, but could see the bottom part of Cooper’s grave, so I moved closer to the middle of the house. Nathan was by Butch’s pen with the girls, watching them talk to the bull. He looked away only long enough to take a quick glance around, and then his eyes were on them again.
“Zoe seems okay. It’s kind of weird,” Joey said.
“I don’t think she’s like us.”
“What do you mean?”
“I think she’s a little different, that’s all.”
Joey nodded. “Nathan is a saint. I’m glad he and Scarlet have each other.”
I smiled. “Me, too.”
He glanced around, in every direction, and then pointed. “Look.”
There was a single tree in the middle of the north field. A group of birds that were perched took off, all at once, from the branches. Joey looked through his scope and cocked his rifle. “There are four of them. You see?”
I narrowed my eyes; the wheat was now tall and golden, nearly ready for harvest. In the tall crop, it was easy to see a ted stumble through it. I looked at Joey. I could see three heads, and wheat moving around a shorter fourth. It was either a very petite person, or a child. “You can see them? They’re teds, right, not humans?”