He rolled to his side, and grinned up at me. “Well, maybe that wasn’t the best way to put it. But marry me anyway. You don’t need to be an Ender. You’ve made your point. You’re strong in your own way, strong enough to survive the first month of training. I get it. You needed to prove yourself. Just marry me. You know you want to marry me, you always have. You could wear one of your mother’s dresses, we could have a baby.”
Some of what he was saying was true. The rest, not so much. “You’re wrong, Coal. I don’t think you ever really knew me. I want to be married, but not to someone who doesn’t really know me.”
“No?” His eyelids drooped. “Did you find someone you like better than me?”
I burst out laughing. “It isn’t always about sex, you idiot. I like my training, and I am going to be an Ender.” I found my pants and vest, and yanked them on. My boots followed swiftly as did my weapons. I was dressed and ready to go in less than minute. “You’re just upset because if I become an Ender, I’ll outrank you.” The words crossed my lips before I thought better of them, but they were true. My eyes shot to his. His jaw flexed and twitched. Damn, that was it. He didn’t want me to be above him. He liked being the powerhouse in our relationship. “Take care of yourself, and don’t come back, Coal. We’re done,” I whispered, feeling the tie between us sever for the final time. Even if he didn’t feel it, I knew the truth of our relationship. He wanted a doormat, and even before starting down this path, I hadn’t been that. Hence the fighting.
He sat up, that damn cocky grin on his lips, his eyes sparkling. “Lark, you will always come back to me. I am the only home you know. I’m the safety net you’ll fall to when you fail at this.”
I thought about the barracks, about Granite and even Mal, Blossom, and the other Seeders. They were my home now, they were my family. They would be my safety net if I fell.
“Not anymore.”
Chapter 10
I had to run in order to make it to the southern edge of the forest before mid-day, if I was going to make it back to the barracks before midnight. Even then I knew I would only have a few minutes to talk to the recluse before having to head back.
The day was still cool, which was a mercy, the fog hanging heavy over the forest. I found my running rhythm as I went. Breathe in. Breathe out. My body moving in perfect sync with the forest, the flow of energy passing through me and marking me as a part of the circle of power. I’d never felt this kind of give and take before, not even close, and the strength hummed along my senses.
Leaping over a log, I pushed off hard and was shocked at the distance between one leap and the next. How fast could I go, connected like this to the earth? I drew in a deep breath and cranked up the speed, pushing myself to the limit, allowing the strength to flow from the ground up through me. I blinked away the tears as the wind rushed against my open eyes.
I let out a howl of excitement, unable to contain the wild energy pouring along my muscles and heating my blood, sending a bevy of birds into the air with disgruntled squawks.
And then, I was there, at the southern Edge, the recluse’s home in front of me.
I stumbled to a stop and checked the sun’s position. Less than a half hour for a trip that should have taken closer to five.
“Mother goddess,” I whispered.
“I wouldn’t go invoking her here,” a gruff voice said.
I dropped to a crouch and pulled the bow and an arrow from my stash of weapons. I set the arrow, nocking it with a single smooth motion. A tall, broad-shouldered man grinned at me from the log where he sat about twenty feet away in the shade of a small fir tree. He had dark hair shot through with silver flecks and eyes three shades of black from darkest night, to moonlight sky, to the moment just before the sun rose. If I were to guess, I’d put him in his forties, in human years. But I knew he was a supernatural, so I didn’t know how old he really was.
I shook myself, and relaxed my hold on the bow.
“Niah sent me.”
“I know, she warned me you would come.” He didn’t move, just watched as I unfolded myself from my crouch.
“She said—”
He held up a hand, stopping me. “Don’t matter what she said. You need a bit of help, yeah?”
I didn’t answer him, mostly because I had no idea what kind of help he could give me. “Do you have a name?”
His grin was lopsided, and it reminded me of something I couldn’t quite put my finger on. “Griffin. In the human world I go by O’Shea.”
I narrowed my eyes, and really looked at him. “May I ask what you are, exactly?”
He barked a laugh, which only emphasized my feeling that there was wolf in him, a hell of a lot of wolf. But not werewolf. No, something else.
“You already know, so what does it matter?” His eyes met mine in a direct challenge, and I didn’t back down.
“Then you know who I am?”
“I do. I know that you are blocked from your abilities, and the mother goddess hasn’t given two shakes of a rat’s ass to help you. She’s bitchy like that sometimes when she thinks she’s been snubbed. You not reaching out to her, that’s a snub in her books.” He rubbed his hands over themselves in a dry wash.
“I can’t reach her, I’ve tried,” I cried out.
“She don’t see things the way we do. That’s the problem with gods, they only see what they want.”