I took a deep breath. “You know, considering that we haven’t gone on our actual date yet, we sure have talked about it a lot.”
“I don’t know. Seems like this might actually be date number two.” He cocked his head to the side. “And I’ve enjoyed getting to know you any way I can. Now, back to the question.”
“Damn.” I muttered, even though I was feeling tingly from his admission.
“C’mon.” He raised one eyebrow and flashed that slow smile that I was a sucker for.
“I was worried that you were only taking me on a date out of a sense of chivalry.” I bit my lip and looked down at the floor.
“You thought what?” He reached out and tucked some of my hair behind my ear. “You thought I was taking you out to appease my sense of guilt?”
I didn’t respond, just met his eyes and held my breath.
“Let me explain something.” He set his fork down and I knew he meant business. “I don’t feel guilty about what happened that night. In fact, leaving you that night was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.”
“Then why did you?” The shame from that night rushed back and I leaned a little further away from him.
“Cathy, you deserve more than a one-night stand or a quick tumble in the sheets.” His eyes narrowed and his voice dropped an octave. “You deserve to have it all—to experience it all. One step at a time. The teasing touches, the almosts but not quite. And then I want to make love to you. Not scratch an itch or check something off the list. I want you ready and willing, begging me for what you need.”
The food I was planning on eating was halfway to my mouth when I froze. I had no words, only thoughts of how he might leave me begging.
“Um.” That was the only working syllable I could squeeze out of my lips.
“And most importantly, I want you to decide that you want me to be your first for the right reasons.” He paused. “That you want me as much as I want you. All of you, not just your body.”
“I—I didn’t think that would be an option for me.” I set my food down and decided to be a big girl. “That’s why I thought a one-night stand would be the way to go.”
“I’m not saying that a lot of girls don’t use that very tactic, but wouldn’t you rather it be with someone you like? You could decide you hate me, or that I drive you crazy. Then you’d regret it and I don’t want that.” One of his eyebrows rose as his eyes traveled over me. “Well, I want something, but not for you to hate me.”
“You’re making me blush on purpose.” I shook my head.
“I’m just getting started,” he replied. His smile grew and I looked down at my makeshift plate.
“Okay, so this is our second date then?” I shook my head before popping my food in my mouth. “This is a pretty weird conversation, don’t you think?”
“Nah. I’m sure there have been weirder ones.”
“Like what?”
“Killing zombies, for one.”
“Okay, so my track record for date conversation isn’t so great.” I laughed.
“Actually, it’s fun and different.” His smile went all the way to his eyes. “You’re different.”
“That’s a good thing, I guess.”
“It’s a good thing.”
“Well, you’re not so bad yourself.” I narrowed my eyes and decided to change the subject. I wasn’t sure what would happen if he kept talking about making me beg. “When you talk about yourself, anyways. If you want me to get to know you, you’re going to have to divulge more information.”
“Ask away.” He motioned with his fork for me to go on.
“If Sam hadn’t asked you to come to the FBT, what would you be doing?”
“Looking for a job.” He chuckled. “No, really. You’d think a doctorate would guarantee a job, but most of the good positions are filled by lifers.”
“Lifers?” I asked.
“People that snap up a great position and never leave.” He frowned. “I did have an offer from a university, but I’m not ready to go straight into teaching full-time.”
“That makes sense. Want to see and do a little more first.” I nodded my head.
“Exactly. Then I can decide where I really want to be.” I finished off the last of the chicken and moved on to the noodles. “It must be hard for you to not have a choice.”
“I have a choice,” I argued. “Well, with some limitations, but really, most people have limitations and certain expectations. Being a princess is my job. I love it most of the time, but everyone has bad days or days you just don’t want to go to work. Then there are bad parts to every job, and you just have to work around them. This week has been tough. I thought I was going to go insane at a plaque unveiling. It was for a great cause and the people were wonderful, but all I could think about was getting back to make sure Selene was okay.”
“That’s understandable.” He nodded in understanding. “I love working with birds, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t days when I want to beat my head against a wall.”
“Exactly. Today was one of those days.” I frowned. “The media has been ridiculous. They’ve even calmed down when it comes to Sam and Alex, except for the wedding, but lately they are everywhere. I don’t usually rate this much attention.”