Reason to Breathe

Evan let out a short laugh. “We’ve moved just about every year since I can remember. My dad’s a lawyer for a financial conglomerate, so his job takes him wherever he needs to be. I’ve lived in New York, different parts of California, Dallas, Miami, and even in several countries in Europe for a few years.”

“Does it bother you?” I asked, relieved to be talking about him instead of me.

“It didn’t used to. When I was younger, I’d get excited to go somewhere new. It didn’t bother me when I left my friends behind because I was convinced that I’d see them again, eventually.

“Now that I’m in high school, it’s not as easy. I made some decent friends when we moved to San Francisco two years ago, so it was harder to leave. Also, I don’t want to keep fighting for a position on the sports teams. My parents offered to let me stay there to finish, but I decided to give Connecticut a chance. I can visit my friends during the breaks. If I don’t like it here, I’ll move back.”

“By yourself?” I asked in amazement.

He smiled at my reaction. “I’m pretty much by myself as it is anyway. My father works all the time, and my mother is on every fundraising committee from here to San Diego, so she travels a lot.”

“I’m sure Weslyn doesn’t even compare to San Francisco. I’d choose California in a second.”

“Weslyn’s… interesting.” He looked over at me with his infamous grin. I was glad it was dark so he couldn’t see my scarlet cheeks. I looked out the window, still having no idea where we were.

“I hope you’re paying attention to where we’re going, because you have to figure out how to get yourself home,” I warned.

“What, I’m not driving you back to Sara’s?”

I wasn’t sure if he was serious.

“This isn’t a date,” I blurted, knowing I shouldn’t have said it as soon as it came out of my mouth.

“I know,” he said, almost too quickly - instantly making me regret saying it. “I figured Sara would drive Jason home.”

“Oh,” I whispered. I felt like an idiot.

“I can offer to drive Jason so you and Sara can leave together,” he suggested. “That may be easier for everyone.”

We were quiet as we followed the Land Rover down a long driveway lined with cars, or it could have been a private road for as long as it was. Evan pulled behind the Land Rover and shut off the car.

“If this is going to be weird for you, I can go in by myself so no one knows we came here together,” he offered. I must’ve really offended him.

“No, it’s okay,” I said softly. “I shouldn’t have said that about it not being a date. I haven’t been as filtered as I usually am, especially when I’m around you for some reason.”

“I’ve noticed,” Evan teased. “I never quite know how you’re going to react. It’s one of the things that makes you so interesting.” His flawless smile reflected in the soft light of the driveway’s lanterns.

“Let’s get this over with,” I said under my breath as I opened the car door.

“Do you really want to do this?” Evan asked as we approached the house.

I took a deep breath and replied, “Yes, it’ll be fun.” I forced a smile. It wasn’t convincing, but he didn’t call me out on it.

6. Different Planet

As we neared the front steps, we spotted Sara and Jason sitting off to the side, along the stone wall. They were deep in conversation with red cups in their hands, oblivious to the party happening inside.

“Hey, Sara,” I said as I walked over, breaking her entranced attention.

“Emma, I was waiting for you!” she exclaimed as she jumped up from the wall and went to hug me, but restrained herself when she saw my body tense for the embrace.

Sensing Sara wasn’t quite ready to give up her moment with Jason, I declared, “We’re going in. Find me inside later.”

“Okay.” She replied with a beaming smile that could only mean that I wasn’t going to see her for awhile.

I was so wrapped up in my anxiety that I didn’t realize Evan had grabbed my hand upon entering the loud crowded space - not until he was leading me through the entanglement of bodies. I didn’t pull it away as we squeezed through the bodies, in fear that I would be stranded if I let go. Wide-eyes followed me through the crowd - evidently, not everyone who was here was at the football game or had received the circulating texts.

The house was the typical huge estate that belonged in Weslyn, with an open floor plan that was conducive to throwing a large party. There were only two rooms in the front of the house that were encased with walls - the formal dining room, and another room with a large wooden door, which appeared to be locked.

We squeezed through to the back of the house where we found the kitchen. The island in the kitchen was lined with different colored liquor bottles and soda, ending with a large stack of red plastic cups next to a tap handle.

“Want something to drink?” Evan yelled, still holding my hand.

“Diet whatever’s fine,” I yelled back.

He left me standing on one side of the bar to get our drinks at the other end, instantly consumed by the crowd within the few feet it took to reach the sodas.

“Holy shit! Emma Thomas?!” I heard someone yell from across the room. I froze, afraid to look. His exclamation caught the attention of a few other people; they evidently were amongst the few who hadn’t heard that I was at the party since they couldn’t stop staring at me. I spotted a guy from my Chemistry class as he fought his way through the crowd, parting the bodies with his red cup.

“Hi, Ryan.”

“I can’t believe you’re here!” he exclaimed, throwing his arms around me in a tight embrace with alcohol rolling off his breath. Great, he was drunk. I tensed, unable to react to his breach of my personal space until he finally let go.

“Wow, this is so great,” he said with a ridiculous smile on his face. “I was hoping to see you tonight. I heard you were at the game. Do you want a drink?”

“Hey, Ryan.” I heard Evan say from behind me. I turned toward him with a panicked expression, but he didn’t pick up on it. Instead he handed me one of the cups he was holding.

“Evan!” Ryan hollered, in a volume too loud for how close we were standing to him. He put his arm around me and zealously pulled me toward him, making me spill my drink – he was oblivious. “Evan, you know Emma Thomas, right? She is the coolest person.” I gave Evan my wide eyed look of despair - he raised his eyebrows, finally getting it.

“Yes, Ryan, I know Emma,” he said, grabbing my hand, and pulling me carefully away from Ryan. “We actually came here together.”

Ryan appeared confused and then shocked as he released me. “You did? Oh, man, I am so sorry. I had no idea.”

“It’s okay,” Evan assured him. “We’re going outside. We’ll see you later.” Evan turned toward the sliding doors that led to the deck.

It was a little less crowded and definitely quieter, leaving the music behind in the house. We found an empty section of railing and leaned our backs against it, watching the craziness inside.

“I’m sorry about that,” Evan finally said, leaning on his forearm to face me. “I had no idea why you’d given me that look. I didn’t know Ryan liked you.”

“Neither did I,” I confessed quietly. “Thanks for getting me out of there. I’m way out of my comfort zone with all of these people.”

“Really?” Evan shot me a teasing smile. “I don’t think I noticed when you could barely force yourself through the front door.”

“Okay, so I’m here for Sara,” I admitted with a sigh. “She’s wanted to ask Jason Stark out since the beginning of the year, and this was the perfect opportunity. I’m here for moral support.”

“It looks like Sara’s doing just fine without you.” Evan smirked. “I think you’re the one needing the support.”

I scowled up at him with a mocking smile. “Thanks a lot.”

“Mathews!” a male voice yelled from the door exiting the house.

“Hi, Jake.” Evan greeted the voice with a shake of his hand.

“It’s good to see you,” Jake stated. “No way, is that Emma Thomas?” I smiled awkwardly and nodded.

“Wait, did you come here together?” he asked, looking at Evan with a sly grin.

“I brought her here to meet up with Sara,” Evan explained.

“Wow, I can’t believe you’re here.” Jake shook his head while looking me over. “Can I get you something to drink?”

I raised my cup. “Thanks, I’m all set.”

“Maybe I’ll see you inside, and I can refill it for you,” he said, flashing his teeth. I froze, trying to understand what was going on. I swore I was on a different planet. And on this planet, people noticed me, and some noticed me too much. I desperately wanted to be on the other side of the locked door of the room at the front of the house.

“Did you guys see the fire pit they have around the side of the house?”

“No,” Evan replied.

“It’s pretty cool, you should check it out,” Jake encouraged. “I’ll see you later.” He winked at me before he turned away. I stood there, stunned.

“Did he really just wink at me?” I asked, completely astounded.

“I think he did,” Evan confirmed with a small laugh.

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” I suddenly realized. “I’m so glad I’m finding more ways to entertain you. This is horrifying for me. I don’t think you quite get that.”

Evan looked at my distraught face, straightening out his smile. “I’m sorry, you’re right. I can tell you’re not enjoying this. Let’s go check out the fire pit; it’s probably less crowded.”

“Evan, you don’t have to stay with me. You should go in the house and meet people. It looks like the entire junior and senior classes are here. I’ll be fine.” I tried to assure him with one of my forced smiles. He looked at me doubtingly. I really did have to work on faking it, didn’t I?

“How about this - I’ll walk down to the fire pit with you, and then I’ll make a round inside the house before coming back to check on you?”

“Okay,” I agreed reluctantly. As much as I hated the thought of being alone at this party, I wasn’t going to ruin Evan’s night by making him feel obligated to babysit me. I was used to being invisible, and I could sink into the shadows again – even on this planet.

The deck became more crowded as we moved toward the stairs that led to the backyard. Evan grabbed my hand to lead me through.

“Evan?!” an excited female voice exclaimed. Although he was still holding my hand, we were cut off by a person in-between us, so I couldn’t see the owner of the overly excited voice. “I’ve been looking for you.”

I squeezed through in time to find Haley Spencer with her arms flung around Evan’s neck, pulling him into her well-developed body. One hand was holding me and the other was holding his cup, so the embrace was not returned. An unwelcome heat turned in my stomach. I quickly shook off the insecurity and attempted to release his hand - but he held on tighter and pulled me closer.