FREDDY. The new small talk. You do it so awfully well.
LIZA. If I was doing it proper, what was you laughing at? [To Higgins]
Have I said anything I oughtn't?
MRS. HIGGINS [interposing] Not at all, Miss Doolittle.
LIZA. Well, that's a mercy, anyhow. [Expansively] What I always say is--
HIGGINS [rising and looking at his watch] Ahem!
LIZA [looking round at him; taking the hint; and rising] Well: I must
go. [They all rise. Freddy goes to the door]. So pleased to have met
you. Good-bye. [She shakes hands with Mrs. Higgins].
MRS. HIGGINS. Good-bye.
LIZA. Good-bye, Colonel Pickering.
PICKERING. Good-bye, Miss Doolittle. [They shake hands].
LIZA [nodding to the others] Good-bye, all.
FREDDY [opening the door for her] Are you walking across the Park, Miss
Doolittle? If so--
LIZA. Walk! Not bloody likely. [Sensation]. I am going in a taxi. [She
goes out].
Pickering gasps and sits down. Freddy goes out on the balcony to catch
another glimpse of Eliza.
MRS. EYNSFORD HILL [suffering from shock] Well, I really can't get used
to the new ways.
CLARA [throwing herself discontentedly into the Elizabethan chair]. Oh,
it's all right, mamma, quite right. People will think we never go
anywhere or see anybody if you are so old-fashioned.
MRS. EYNSFORD HILL. I daresay I am very old-fashioned; but I do hope
you won't begin using that expression, Clara. I have got accustomed to
hear you talking about men as rotters, and calling everything filthy
and beastly; though I do think it horrible and unladylike. But this
last is really too much. Don't you think so, Colonel Pickering?
PICKERING. Don't ask me. I've been away in India for several years; and
manners have changed so much that I sometimes don't know whether I'm at
a respectable dinner-table or in a ship's forecastle.
CLARA. It's all a matter of habit. There's no right or wrong in it.
Nobody means anything by it. And it's so quaint, and gives such a smart
emphasis to things that are not in themselves very witty. I find the
new small talk delightful and quite innocent.
MRS. EYNSFORD HILL [rising] Well, after that, I think it's time for us
to go.
Pickering and Higgins rise.
CLARA [rising] Oh yes: we have three at homes to go to still. Good-bye,
Mrs. Higgins. Good-bye, Colonel Pickering. Good-bye, Professor Higgins.
HIGGINS [coming grimly at her from the divan, and accompanying her to
the door] Good-bye. Be sure you try on that small talk at the three
at-homes. Don't be nervous about it. Pitch it in strong.
CLARA [all smiles] I will. Good-bye. Such nonsense, all this early
Victorian prudery!