Chapter 762: Start of the Third Change of Heart
Translator: EndlessFantasy Translation Editor: EndlessFantasy Translation
'The first change of heart was due to the affection I had for Bai Su…' As his hand remained over his heart, the scene from all those years ago rose up in his mind.
'The second change of heart was a little indistinct, but I could feel it started when I had come to understand that moving from midwinter to spring was moving from death to life, and it ended when I came to realize that I needed to dye the sky with blood to reach autumn when I was in Eastern Wastelands Tower.
'This is the third change of heart, and this time… it is of home.'
The star and moon in the sky had already faded away and disappeared. Only the sun remained high above, and it was radiating heat and sending down bright light. A new day had arrived and chased away the dark. It lifted off the veil of self-deception, causing the people in Crimson Flame Planet to sense the cruelty of their reality.
'There are three ways to get through changes of heart. The first is to fight them, the second is to cut them off, and the third… is to forget them.
'But I no longer have the ability to love and feel pain. I don't want to cut off my thoughts of longing for my home, much less forget them… As for fighting against them… what use is there to fight against them?' Su Ming closed his eyes and hid away the sun and moon in his eyes.
After a long time, when he opened his eyes once again, he stood up from the seated position he had remained in for a full year. Once he did so, Yue Hong Bang immediately dashed towards him from the distance.
Su Ming looked at Yue Hong Bang, then at the large amount of blue stones that had been offered during the past year. He sucked in a huge breath of the heat in the land.
"I'm going to go out for a while. I'll let you handle everything in the northern region," Su Ming said softly before looking into the distance.
The Crimson Python Phoenix that had been asleep for the past year immediately moved. As its cries reverberated in the air, it flew up and went under Su Ming's feet, turning into a long arc and taking Su Ming with it. A black shadow also flapped its wings and caught up to them quickly. Naturally, that was the bald crane.
Yue Hong Bang wrapped his fist in his palm and looked at Su Ming moving into the distance. When he eventually disappeared into the horizon, Yue Hong Bang had a vague feeling that the Su Ming just a moment ago seemed to be slightly different from his past self. Yet he could not describe just what part of him had become different. It was just a feeling, after all.
Su Ming flew through Crimson Flame Planet. His expression was calm as he moved over mountains and deserts. He found a red type of grass on one of the mountains. That grass grew in volcanoes, and it possessed some heat.
Eventually, Su Ming discovered another mountain, an extinct volcano. Its appearance was incredibly similar to that of the ninth summit. As Su Ming stood on that mountain, he looked at it quietly. After a long moment, he lifted his right hand, and the killing sword appeared on his palm. Then, like a gust of wind, he flew in circles around the mountain.
Mountain rocks were shattered. Dust and dirt flew into the air. When an entire day passed, the mountain gradually became even more similar to the ninth summit as Su Ming continued modifying it. Su Ming had even opened up a cave abode at the top of the mountain. His second senior brother's courtyard was also built in the middle section of the mountain. Su Ming's platform and Hu Zi's house was located farther down, and at the foot of the mountain was eldest senior brother's isolation grounds.
When this mountain appeared before Su Ming's eyes, he stood there and stared at it for a long, long time.
When the sky turned dark, the moon hung high in the sky, and the ground became indistinct, Su Ming smiled as he looked at the ninth summit. That smile was incredibly cold and heartless, as if he was wearing a mask, but this was not what Su Ming intended. As he continued smiling, his heart beneath his cold countenance once again ached with pain.
However, this time, the pain did not affect just his heart. A powerful will seemed to have descended on his indifferent face, causing spasms under his icy cold countenance. Gradually, a black mask manifested on his face.
Su Ming knew that his actions could be considered as a type of love. This longing and love for home was not allowed for him. It should be cut off, but his current action was the complete opposite of being indifferent, which was the cause for the mask to show up once again. The will within it started suppressing Su Ming's ability to love.
Blood trickled down from the corners of Su Ming's mouth, but he continued lifting his feet to walk to the top of the mountain, where he sat down by himself.
The Crimson Python Phoenix was lying at the foot of the mountain. It seemed to have noticed what was in Su Ming's heart, and it was something that said he did not want anyone bothering him.
The bald crane had been watching everything that Su Ming did for the entire day, and the energetic bird suddenly fell silent. It looked at the ninth summit before its eyes and gradually went to Su Ming's side. As it looked at his aloof face, the blood at the corners of his mouth, and his actions of seizing his chest, grief appeared on the bald crane's face.
"I won't cut away my longing for home, and neither will I forget it… I choose pain! I will keep the pain in my heart to remember that feeling, and I will feel this pain forever. Only then will I remember it, only then… will I not be able to forget it," Su Ming mumbled to himself.
He was afraid that he would one day forget his longing for home, that he would gradually lose himself in the Barren Lands of Divine Essence as he was immersed in the indifference and heartlessness of this place.
That was why he had to keep this pain in his heart.
He brought out the red grass he had gathered all along the way from his storage and started tying knots on those blades of grass. When morning arrived, Su Ming had already finished weaving a grass puppet.
That puppet was headless.
However, this puppet had drops of blood that had dripped down from Su Ming's tongue after he had bitten the tip of his tongue. Due to that blood, the puppet no longer looked lifeless. It seemed like it had come to life.
The puppet did not resemble eldest senior brother, but in Su Ming's eyes, it was not a puppet but his eldest senior brother!
Su Ming looked at the red puppet that signified his eldest senior brother. His expression was indifferent, and his emotions could not be seen, but his look of concentration represented everything in his mind.
Yet at this moment, the mask that had disappeared when night arrived appeared once again. This time, the will that came from the mask was even greater than before. Signs of decay appeared on Su Ming's face, and a shudder wrecked his body. Wisps of green smoke also spread out. He did not feel pain, but the will that was came from the mask was forcefully trying to make him stop his actions.
Su Ming shuddered. He could feel that he could no longer control his own hands. It was as if the will within the mask was controlling his body, and it forced him to abruptly cough up a huge mouthful of blood.
Su Ming's gaze turned even colder, and he gritted his teeth. Struggling, he slowly lifted his right hand and brought out some more red grass. As his hands trembled, he slowly tied knots on the blades. This once simple act was now an arduous task, but he still persevered through it.
In three days, Su Ming weaved his second red doll, which also contained his blood. The doll looked to be smiling gently, and as if it would continue doing so no matter when and where it was.
When Su Ming finished weaving the second doll, the sun was incredibly bright. It shone on the side of the doll's face, and its smile stirred up a memory in Su Ming's head, leaving him dazed.
As he immersed himself in that memory, the decay of his face under the mask became even worse. The will coming from the mask let out a bang in Su Ming's head, and blood trickled out of the corners of his mouth. He might feel no pain, but the damage done by the will surpassed all pain, causing him to fall to the side.
Seven days later, Su Ming opened his eyes. They were bloodshot, and his body was incredibly weak. He felt as if his heart and soul had been injured, but when he opened his eyes, he brought out the red blades of grass once more and started weaving them with shaking hands.
This time, Su Ming fainted three times while weaving the doll, due to the will from the mask sending out blasts in his head. A month later, there was no longer any shine on his body. However, the third doll had been finished.
It was a doll with a silly expression and an honest look. As Su Ming looked at the doll, he chuckled. His laughter was cold and contained no emotion, but when the bald crane heard it, it felt that everything that had happened during the past month and that cold chuckle were more real than anything else in the world.
'You can take away my ability to love, but you can't take away the longing that exists in my heart…'
Su Ming picked up the red grass. When he began weaving the fourth doll, blood dripped down from his face. At that instant, the will that came from the mask had become so strong that it could cause Su Ming's soul to shake.
Su Ming lifted his head and let out a roar towards the sky.
His hands shook as he tried to tie the grass knots time and again. When another month passed, the fourth doll was done.
It was a woman, a woman who was smiling as she turned her head back to look at someone. This was Bai Su.
When that doll was finished, Su Ming's hands had already been torn apart. His feebleness reached its peak, and he was practically at death's door, but the bright sun in his left eye and the moon in his right had become even clearer. They now occupied the entire space within his pupils.
He brought out some more red grass to weave the fifth doll - Yu Xuan.
Yet this time, no matter how Su Ming tried, he could not tie the first knot. Every single time he was about to tie it, the eyes that fell shut would appear in his heart, along with the figure that fell into the distance because he did not manage to catch her.
He tried, again and again, and he failed, again and again. Dark light spread out from the mask on Su Ming's face. When it covered his face, his eyes grew even more aloof and heartless.
Su Ming looked at the red blade of grass, on which he was still unable to tie the first knot. Without lifting his head, he asked languidly in a voice that contained a cold that could even chill bones, "Sir, you've been here for many days. How long do you intend to keep watching me?"
A sigh came from the sky. Tian Lin appeared in midair, and with a complicated expression, he looked at the black mask on Su Ming's face, then at the dolls before Su Ming, along with the red grass in his hand that was filled with creases.
"Sir, why do you do this? I can see that there is a seal in the mask on your face, so why do you insist on fighting against it?"
When Tian Lin said these words, Su Ming lifted his head. At the instant he turned the sun in his left eye and the moon in his right towards Tian Lin, Tian Lin's words died away. His gaze met Su Ming's, and a bang immediately rang out in his heart.
As that bang reverberated in his heart, Su Ming and the mountain disappeared from his eyes, to be replaced by a plain of withered grass. There were a few families on that plain, and at that moment, those families were screaming shrilly. True Guard dressed in red were massacring those families.
At the end of the fight, one burly True Guard that had a bloody presence stood before a trembling young man whose face was rife with terror. That young man repeatedly tried to fight against him, but every single time, he would be flung backwards by a swing of the True Guard's arm while coughing up blood. Then, with a voice filled with indifference and disdain, he said flatly, "You know well that you aren't my opponent, and yet you still dare to attack me. Oh well, I'll spare you, young child of the fifth generation of Tian Kui's descendants. It'll be a show of my kindness."
When the massacre was over and the True Guard left, the young man lifted his head and let out a shrill roar before he fell to his knees. Tears of blood trickled down his face.
All of this might have only been an instant-long illusion, but Tian Lin started trembling. His eyes turned red as the pain that was hidden at the deepest parts of his heart resurfaced, reminding him of what had happened to his home in the Barren Lands of Divine Essence several thousands of years ago!
His breathing quickened, and he looked towards Su Ming.
"What is this Art?!"
"The sun represents reality, the moon represents hope, and the star… represents home. This is what I have come to understand of the illusion of the star, sun, and moon. As for the question regarding why I am fighting against the seal… it is the same answer as to why you were fighting against that True Guard."
Su Ming picked up the four dolls before him. Because they contained his blood, they slowly fused into his body, and from then on, it was as if… these people were with him in this place.
Su Ming knew that his third change of heart had just started. It had not ended. It would only truly end once he finished weaving everyone's dolls and fused all of them into his body. Then, with this method, he would conquer his third change of heart.