In all the interviews I had had with the czar during the many months of

my association with him he had maintained the condition that he had

himself made at the beginning, which was that we should meet on the

basis of friends and equals. Whenever we were alone together he

commanded me to forget that we were other than two friends who were

enjoying an opportunity for a chat with each other, and as at such

times we invariably conversed in French, he always insisted that I

should address him by the simple term "monsieur." When the prince was

with us, as was nearly always the case, the degree of familiarity was

slightly, though hardly perceptibly modified, and I must say that I had

learned to enjoy such occasions exceedingly.

For Alexander I had begun to feel a sincere affection. I doubt if there

was any other man in Russia who understood him so thoroughly as I did.

During these familiar hours we had passed together he had told me many

things concerning himself, his ideas, and his hopes; and these

confidences had revealed the real man--that is, the man behind the

czar--to me, and I knew that of the thousands of crimes attributed to

him only a few had ever come to his knowledge until it was too late for

him to interfere, or too impolitic for him to do so. Intellectually, he

was not preponderant; indeed he was rather deficient in this respect;

but he was naturally a kindly disposed man, and at the beginning of his

reign, and indeed through more than half of it, he proved that fact to

the people. It was just before the time of my arrival in St. Petersburg

that he allowed himself to fall more and more into the power of the

nobles who in reality ruled the empire, and who do so still. Easily

influenced by those in whom he trusted, thousands of crimes were

committed in his name of which he had no knowledge and of which he had

never known. At all events, I liked him, and moreover, I had thorough

faith in my own influence over him.

In like proportion to my familiarity at court and to the emperor's

fondness for my society, I was cordially hated by the nobility; but as

they feared me quite as much as they hated me, and as my real standing

among them remained a mystery, I was constantly fawned upon to a degree

that was nauseating. Even the story I had so lately heard from the lips

of the princess had not materially lessened the liking I felt for

Alexander, for I could understand much better than she could, all the

influence that had been brought to bear upon the emperor not to pardon

the woman in whose possession had been found cyanide of potassium

intended for his wine. I did not believe he had intended that she

should go to the island of Saghalien; I did not believe that he could

be held accountable for the evils that befell poor Yvonne in the

isolated garrisons of Siberia. He had been convinced that she intended

to poison him, and he banished her; there his part of the evil ceased.

The awful things that happened in the garrison he did not know about,

could not hear about, for I believe that among all his friends, I was

the only one who dared to tell him the truth. Even the prince lied to

him, for I had often heard him do so.




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