I didn’t go home that night. Instead, I crashed on Finn’s couch.
We found out Saturday morning that The Pit was open again and by Saturday afternoon, we were booked to play there that night. I’d never been so happy to see those concrete walls. All the graffiti had been painted over, but there were some guys with spray paint working on something new on a far wall. We set up and started playing once the room began to fill.
Two hours later, I was drenched in sweat and had a hell of a buzz. I played my ass off and the crowd seemed to be feeding off our energy. A redhead that I’d seen before kept giving me flirty eyes from the front row and I decided halfway through the set I was taking her back to Finn’s and getting some. A couple times I leaned down while I was playing and took in her overflowing cleavage.
After the set was over, we packed up our stuff and headed to the cars. The inside of the club was still jumping and we could’ve stayed and partied the rest of the night away, but I had a willing redhead named Stephanie on my arm and hard-on that was aching against my jeans.
“Hey, Chet, we’ll catch y’all at Finn’s place later,” I called over my shoulder as I grabbed the redhead around the waist and pulled her to me.
I knew her name, but it wasn’t necessary. Redhead was a good enough name for me. I’d been upfront and honest about what the night was about and she seemed perfectly fine with being a quick one-night fuck.
When I turned back around to leave, I almost walked into Patience. Her blue eyes met mine and then landed on my hand, which was holding Stephanie close to me. She took in the girl next to me and her eyes drifted up and then down. Her face was expressionless when she looked back at me, but I saw the tiny crack in her armor when a brief second of pain filled her eyes.
“Hey, stranger! Long time no see,” I slurred.
Her lips bent into a fake smile.
“Yeah, I’ve been kind of busy this week.” She shrugged.
I couldn’t tell if she was lying or not, but I wanted to know what was so important that she missed Boy’s Club and school.
“I’ll be right back, baby. I’m going to run to the bathroom before we leave,” Stephanie said as she tilted her head up and kissed me on the neck.
It was obvious she was marking her territory for the night, but Patience didn’t seem to catch on. Once Stephanie was gone, the room disappeared around me and my attention honed in on Patience. She was wearing another pair of tight jeans and a light-blue top that made her hair and eyes pop.
“What’s that about?” she said as she motioned to Stephanie, who was easing her way through the crowd toward the bathroom.
“A man has needs, snowflake.” I grinned down at her.
Her throat worked up and down as she swallowed hard.
“The same needs I couldn’t fulfill.” Her eyes flicked down as if she were ashamed of herself.
The pain in her eyes made the pressure on my chest feel heavier. I wanted to tell her she had nothing to be ashamed of. I wanted to tell her that being with her, even without the sex, had been wonderful, but I didn’t respond. I just shrugged my shoulders and shook my head like I was aggravated by her. Really, I was aggravated with myself because I wanted Patience to fulfill my needs. I wanted to take her somewhere quiet and do anything she wanted. I’d even cuddle if it meant being close to her, but it would never happen because I’d never let it happen.
“It is what it is,” I finally said.
She didn’t respond. Instead, her eyes filled with tears that never fell and she nodded her head like she understood. Damn her for always being so understanding. Damn her for not bursting out of her skin the way I would’ve had I seen her with another guy. I was pissed that she’d just step aside so easily. We weren’t in a relationship or anything and we never would be, but I’d never give up on her that easy. Though, technically, wasn’t that what I was doing? I was giving up on her, but I was doing it for her. I could never be what she needed in her life and she could never be what I needed in mine. Whatever it was we had going on needed to end. It was already practically nonexistent anyway.
It was then that Stephanie returned from the bathroom. She put her arm around mine and shot Patience an evil grin. Patience smiled sweetly at her, then looked at me. Something in her eyes burned me. Maybe it was the resolution I saw in them, the fact that she was perfectly okay with just walking away and letting me leave with Stephanie. For some reason it hurt in my chest and stomach, and that hurt did nothing but piss me off even more.
“Have fun tonight,” she said with a big fake smile.