Of course, this just makes me think of Claire. What if she does work out an open adoption agreement with Abigail’s parents? If I want to be with her, I’ll have to support that. I have no idea how open adoptions work, but I assume the parents wouldn’t want Claire’s boyfriend around their daughter mixing her up even further than she’ll already be by having two sets of parents. What if I’m not what’s best for Claire at all?
Fuck that. That’s the kind of thinking that got me into this mess.
I pull over to look up the directions to Maui Memorial Medical Center then turn my truck around. I pull into the parking lot a half hour later and find a parking space as far from the entrance as possible before I text back.
Me: What room are you guys in?
Nathan: I don’t know. Just ask for her name at the nurse’s desk in the waiting room.
I sit in my car for a minute and think about what I’m getting myself into. The past four and a half years of my life since Myles’ death have been a series of train wrecks. I quit competing. I got together with Lindsay. I nearly killed Nathan. I started smoking weed to calm down after I realized I was on a collision course. My life only started getting better when I met Claire. I feel like being here at this hospital is just a way for me to get sucked back into that old life. It’s another train wreck waiting to happen.
As much as I want to pull out of this parking lot and go home, more than anything I want to do what I think Claire would want me to do.
I find the nurse’s desk outside the maternity waiting room and the nurse wants to know if I’m family.
I look her in the eye and try not to sound too annoyed when I say, “I could possibly be the father.”
She raises her eyebrows as she leans forward and points down the hall. “Third room on the right.”
I make it within a few feet of the door when the realization hits me. If this baby isn’t mine, I’m going back to Wilmington and calling my dad’s bluff. I’ll quit my job at Parker Construction and take the job in Raleigh. I don’t think my dad will tell the cops the real version of what happened to Myles, but I wouldn’t put it past him to completely dissolve my trust account. I can live without the millions so long as I have Claire.
I knock on the door and Nathan comes out looking frazzled as fuck. “Lindsay doesn’t want you in there, but I already booked the paternity test for tonight ‘cause the baby’s coming soon. You can wait around for her to be born or you can go home and we’ll call you on Thursday with the results.”
“Thursday? That’s five days from now.” And it also happens to be my birthday. I’d rather be in Raleigh on Thursday.
“It takes the lab three business days from the day they receive the blood to get the results. That’s three days from Monday.”
“Fuck,” I whisper. “When are you all going back?”
He runs his hand through his hair as a guilty look washes over his face. “I have a competition on Wednesday so I’m leaving Tuesday. She’s sticking around here until Friday. They won’t give the results to anyone but the three of us.”
I sigh as I realize where this conversation is going. “You want me to pick up the results on Thursday.”
The guilty look on his face is replaced by relief. “Dude, I know you’d rather do pretty much anything other than help me, but I don’t want her to have to stay here alone.”
“And you can’t miss one fucking competition?”
“It’s my last chance to qualify. You already made it. You don’t have to worry about this shit anymore until March. I’ve only got one more shot. I’m paying the entire $1,100 for the test.”
As much as I want to tell him to go to hell, I know that he and Lindsay probably didn’t think they’d have to deal with this because she wasn’t supposed to be due for more than a week. And they sure as hell didn’t expect to run into me here. If this is what it takes to get some peace of mind, I’ll do it.
I don’t even know if this kid is mine and I’m already stressed out. I can’t imagine what Claire has gone through this past year. I should be there with her right now, but I have to handle this first.
“All right. Text me the address for the lab and I’ll pick up the results on Thursday.”
“Thanks so much, bro. You don’t know how much you’ve helped us.” He reaches out to shake my hand and I can’t bring myself to do it.
“I’m not your bro.”
I make it back to the hotel in Hana around two and immediately lie down to watch some TV. I should probably be booking a flight back to Raleigh for this Saturday—after I’ve gone back to Kauai to get my things—but I need to chill out first and think about what I’m going to do if this baby is mine. I have to prepare myself for the possibility that Claire will want nothing to do with me.
I scroll through the pictures on my phone and find the last picture we took together in the Busy Bee Café. Lena took the picture for us. Claire is hugging my arm as she leans her head on my shoulder. I’ve looked at this picture a million times over the past four weeks, but tonight she looks more beautiful than I remember. Maybe it’s the prospect of seeing her next Saturday that is giving me a false sense of hope, giving everything a rosy tint.
Even if this baby is mine, I’m going to try to get Claire back. I can’t live without her.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chris
I DON’T LIKE TALKING ON the phone, but I’ll do it if that’s what it takes to hear Claire’s voice and to make sure I stay on her mind. She picks up on the first ring. A good sign considering this is the first time she’s answered any of my calls since the day we met Abigail’s parents.
“You deposited $10,000 into my account?”
Not the greeting I was hoping for, but not totally unexpected. “It’s not a big deal. I’ll make it back by tomorrow night.”
“That’s too much. I can’t accept that. I won’t accept that.”
“Why do you always have to make everything so difficult? Just take the money and you can pay me back later.”
“I will never be able to pay you back ten grand. That’s not pocket change to me. In my world, that’s a lot of money.”
“I didn’t say you had to pay me back in money.”
“I’m hanging up now.”
“That was a joke,” I say, though I’m trying my hardest not to laugh. “Claire, you will never have to pay me back.” She’s silent for a long time; so long that I begin to think she hung up. “Are you still there?”
“Yes,” she whispers. “Chris, I didn’t tell you about what happened the day I ran into you at the concert two months ago.”
“What happened?”
She pauses again and I’m starting to worry. “Before the concert, I went to Northstar Bank in Raleigh because I got a letter from them saying I have a trust fund in my name worth more than two-hundred grand.”
“What? How is that possible?”
I don’t say it aloud, but we both know that Claire grew up with nothing, even when her mother was alive. I don’t like bringing up her mother. I never have. It upsets her just the way she’s obviously upset right now.
“My father has been depositing money into the account for years. I guess he did it so my mom would keep quiet about the fact that he raped her when she was seventeen.”
Fuck. The last thing I wanted to do when I deposited that money into her account was bring up these kinds of memories.
“I’m sorry, Claire. I feel like a total dick now.”
“That’s not the worst part.” She heaves a long sigh before she continues and I wish I were there to comfort her. “My mother’s overdose wasn’t a mistake.”
“I’m coming over.”
“You can’t drive. Don’t be stupid.”
“That’s what taxis are for. I don’t like hearing you like this.”
“I’m fine.”
“You are obviously not fine. How could you be? Claire, you don’t have to pretend with me.”
“It’s almost nine o’clock. I’m not finished studying and Senia’s coming back soon.”
I sit up in bed and reach for my crutches. “I promise I’ll let you study. And you know I have no problem with Senia being there. I haven’t hung out with her in a while.”
Senia loves me. I don’t know how she feels about surfer boy, but I remember her being pissed as hell the day Claire broke up with me. She was always on my side when Claire and I fought. It drove Claire crazy.
“You’d better not try anything like what happened earlier today. That is not going to happen again so just get that out of your mind.”
“I just want to be there for you.”
“I should be done studying by eleven.”
“Good, because that’s about how long it’s going to take me to hobble there on my crutches. See ya, babe.”
The sound of her laughter as I hang up makes me happy. She needs someone there. She probably doesn’t want to burden Senia with this stuff since they’re both carrying big workloads with their classes. But she needs someone to talk to and I’d rather it be me than him.
The taxi drops me off near the entrance at Spencer Hall at 10:44 p.m. It’s a Saturday, so people are still coming and going and I wait less than ten minutes for someone to open the door to let me in. Unfortunately, it’s a group of girls who look about ready to go partying and they instantly recognize me.
“Oh. My. God!” a blonde girl in a purple blouse cries. “You’re Chris Knight!”
The other girls snap their heads in my direction and fix me with hungry stares. “I’m just here to see a friend.”
“You have a friend in this dorm? OMG!” the blonde girl cries.
“That is so cool!” says another girl with auburn hair and red lipstick. “Can you tell us who it is?”
“So we can stalk him?” the blonde girl says, and all four of them roar with laughter.
“Sorry. I’m trying to keep a low profile. You ladies understand, right?” I flash them my crowd smile and it seems to work as they all let out a collective sigh. The blonde girl holds the door open for me to hop inside on my crutches and I nod at her. “Thanks, girls. Be good tonight.”
The blonde girl sighs as she lets the door fall closed behind me. I pull my hood up over my head so I don’t have any more run-ins and quickly make my way to Claire’s dorm. Claire opens the door wearing plaid green pajama pants and a pink tank top.
“I dressed up for you,” she says when she catches me checking her out.
“You know how much plaid turns me on.”
“If you weren’t crippled, I’d kick you.”
Senia gets up from her bed and she’s as tall as me now that I’m hunched over these crutches. “Christopher, Christopher, Christopher. Two visits in one week. Tell me, why have you stayed away so long?”
She holds out her arms for a hug and I grab both my crutches in one hand so I can give her a one-armed hug.
“Because I’ve been a huge ass, but I’m working on not being one anymore.”
She lets go of me and smiles. “Right answer. It’s almost as if you always know the perfect thing to say.” She winks as she turns to go back to her bed.
“Aw, come on. I was counting on you being nice to me.”
She grins as she grabs her phone off her bed, stuffs her headphones in her ears, and slides in under her covers. “I’m going to read now so I’d appreciate it if you all could keep the sex noises down.”
I turn to Claire and she shakes her head. “Don’t get any ideas.”
She grabs a textbook and her laptop off her bed so I can sit. She sets the book and the laptop on a desk then leans against the desk as she stares at the floor.