“Stop yelling at me! I can’t relax if you keep yelling at me,” he complains.
In hindsight, sneaking off to the mas***bation room in the middle of Charlotte and Gavin’s co-ed bridal shower probably wasn’t the best idea, but we got bored watching them open up all of those stupid pots and pans and monogrammed towels.
Running my hand down Tyler’s back, I lean in closer to him and whisper in his ear. “Calm down, baby, I totally know what I’m doing.”
He sighs and turns his face, pressing his lips to mine. I glide my tongue across his bottom lip before pushing it between his lips. His tongue tangles with mine and I feel a gentle tug as he sucks it into his mouth. As the kiss continues, I can feel Tyler relaxing and I know he’s getting excited.
“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!” he suddenly screams, breaking the kiss and jumping away from the table.
“Sorry! Sorry, oh hell, I got a little carried away. I didn’t mean to stick it all the way in!” I apologize, wincing at him as he gives me a dirty look.
He tries to twist and turn his body to look at his ass and when he does, the tail attached to the butt plug swishes back and forth across the back of his legs. I can’t help it, I smack my hand over my mouth and start laughing.
“THIS IS NOT FUNNY! THIS IS NOT FUCKING FUNNY!” he yells, trying to grab for the tail to pull the entire thing out but it keeps swishing away from his reach. “GET THIS DAMN THING OUT OF MY ASS!”
I really wasn’t sure I would ever be able to handle the weird shit Tyler likes to do in the bedroom but right now, I realize all of my fears were for nothing. Tyler’s very good about throwing some normal, but equally hot sex into the mix every once in a while and I’m a strong, independent woman who can handle anything life throws at me. Including a hot guy dancing around a dark room trying to yank a horse tail out of his ass.
My website is still doing amazing and my mom even sponsored an ad on it for Seduction and Snacks. She’s still a little sad that I won’t be spending the rest of my life working in the family business, but she’s accepted the fact that this is what I want to do and she’s happy for me.
“Will you hold still? I can’t get it out if you’re going to keep flailing all over the place,” I scold Tyler, walking over to him and grabbing his arms.
“I promise I will never, ever ask you for anal again. This is serious business right here and not for amateurs. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to take a proper shit again,” he complains.
Standing up on my tiptoes, I kiss his lips and smile at him. “I love you, but you’re a lying sack of shit. You know you’re going to ask me tomorrow if it’s Anal Friday yet.”
“One of these days, it really will be Anal Friday and you’ll be glad I asked,” he tells me, turning around so I can get to his ass.
“You know, this tail really is quite pretty. I think you should leave it in for a while. I could brush it and maybe put a braid in it.”
Tyler growls at me over his shoulder. “You made your point. From now on, I will think twice before calling you a wuss for not trying out a new toy.”
I kiss the back of his shoulder and move to yank on the tail when the door to the room bursts open and Drew walks in.
“Come on, kid, it’s time for us to play catch!”
After BronyCon, Drew and Tyler had a DNA test done and the results were fairly conclusive. Drew is now the proud father of another bouncing baby boy. Ever since the test results came back, he’s been overcompensating the father thing just a little bit.
Tyler and I freeze and Drew crosses his arms in front of him, tapping his toe in irritation. “Son, I am really disappointed in you right now.”
Tyler quickly reaches down around his ankles for his pants and pulls them up, the tail refusing to be hidden and, instead, drapes outside of his pants.
“It’s not what it looks like,” Tyler tries to explain, swatting at the tail to try and keep it out of sight.
Drew shakes his head at Tyler. “How many times do I have to tell you? When you’re trying new, kinky shit, always get that stuff on camera. It’s like you were raised in a barn or something.”
Drew turns and walks back out of the room, throwing a parting comment over his shoulder. “Shake a tail feather, dick bag, I still need to teach you how to ride a bike!”
The door slams closed behind him and I slide my arms around Gavin’s waist and look up at him. “Uncle Drew is aware that you already know how to ride a bike, right?”
Tyler pulls me in closer. “Who the f**k knows? Yesterday, he gave me the ‘birds and the bees’ talk and it included props and scenes he acted out with your Aunt Jenny. I can never look her in the eyes ever again.”
I laugh, grabbing onto Tyler’s face and pulling him down for a kiss. I’m pretty sure no one has a crazier life than I do, but that’s okay. My closet is filled with couture and My Little Pony costumes, I have a job I’m ecstatic about, I’m in love with a crazy guy and my sister is getting married. It really doesn’t get any better than this - or any stranger.
The door to the room opens up again and all we see is a very large, very creepy looking fist stick through the crack.
“Duke says get your horse’s ass out here. It’s time for cake!”
The fist disappears and the door quickly slams closed.
I look up at Tyler in confusion and he shakes his head at me.
“Don’t ask.”
I take that back. The strange just never ends.