SELFISH IS AS SELFISH DOES
Raquel was sitting in a chair near my kitchen, talking quietly on her communicator when I woke up on the couch. She had stayed the whole night. I didn't want to be alone.
Her eyebrows were knit as she rubbed her forehead with her free hand. I sat up. She looked over and gave me a strained smile, then continued her conversation for a few minutes. When she had finished, I sat on my hands so they wouldn't shake. “Did they find it?”
She shook her head and heaved a new sigh. This one was laced with more stress and tension than any I had ever heard before--even more than her Evie, Evie, Evie sigh that showed up whenever I messed up big time, like when I was fourteen and stole her communicator in an attempt to reprogram mine to play music. I screwed up the entire system and locked everyone in their rooms for a few hours. It didn't go over well. I was on Containment cleanup duty for a month.
If only things were that easy this time.
I didn't want to ask, I didn't want to know, but I had to. “Jacques?”
She shook her head sadly. “He was dead.”
I looked at the floor, tears welling in my eyes. I hadn't done a thing to help him--I hadn't even tried. Raquel sat next to me and put her arm around my shoulders. “There was nothing you could have done. If you had tried to help him, you'd both be dead now. And I know Jacques would be glad he died helping you escape.”
Actually, I was sure Jacques would be glad to be alive right now. Still, he had been armed and had supernatural werewolf strength. If he could be taken out that easily, I really wouldn't have been able to do anything.
Telling myself that didn't erase his scream from my mind.
“I've got to go to a meeting with all the department heads. We'll figure it out and stop whatever's doing this.”
I remembered my theory and sat up straight. “It's Reth!”
“What's Reth?”
“Reth, the killer! I think Reth's doing it!”
“Why would you say that?”
“The handprint! On the hag's chest--she had a handprint that was glowing gold! Just like--” I stopped dead. I hadn't told Raquel about the glowing in me and I wasn't going to. “He left a handprint on me, I think it's him!”
Raquel shook her head. “I know you're mad at Reth, and with good reason, but it isn't him.”
“How do you know? You don't know anything about faeries!”
She gave me a level stare. “I have been working with faeries far longer than you. And I know Reth didn't do this. While you were out there, he was in a disciplinary hearing.”
“A--what?”
“His actions with you were under review. There were seven people on the council; they can all vouch that he was there the whole time.”
A disciplinary hearing? Who were they kidding? Faeries didn't care in the slightest about us or our rules. Like I told Lend, they were only here because of the named command they had been given in the very beginning--to serve IPCA. “So, what, are they punishing him?”
“His actions were deemed inappropriate and he was firmly admonished.” The way Raquel said it, I knew she realized how lame it sounded.
“Ah, admonished. That'll teach him! I feel totally safe now!”
“You don't need to worry about him anymore. I gave him a named command not to touch you. He can't, ever again. So please, stop letting it bother you so much.”
I looked down at my wrist. It was mostly covered by my sleeve, but I could see the swirling glow where the skin stuck out a little. Yeah, nothing to worry about at all. “I still think he had something to do with this--or maybe another faerie. One IPCA doesn't know about.”
“Well, I'll suggest your theory during the meeting, but we have no reason to suspect the faeries. You and I both know faeries don't do anything without motivation.”
“Yeah, and we both should know that we really don't get their motivation.”
Raquel heaved an I'm done talking about this with you sigh and stood up. “Lish wanted you to go see her as soon as you felt up to it. I would feel better if you spent the day with her. I don't want you alone. And, please, this time, take your communicator.”
Raquel patted me on the head like I was five, then left. I was freezing, so I took a shower that was too long and too hot. I tried not to, but I couldn't avoid looking down. My chest still had its spot of liquid gold fire, undimmed.
When I got out, I stared hard at myself in the mirror, but I could see my freaky liquid flames only if I looked directly at them. It felt like my face should look different, but it was the same old Evie--cute but not gorgeous, button nose, pretty mouth. And my pale, pale gray eyes.
But then something hit me--something horrible. If I could see what was paranormal about myself only by looking directly at it, I had no idea if there was something my face was hiding. I could never look into my own eyes without a mirror and, for all I knew, I'd been glowing my entire life. Maybe that's what was so weird about my eyes that Lend couldn't imitate. Suddenly my face felt like a mask, hiding whatever I really was underneath.
It was a terrible thought. A terrible thought that I had no way to either confirm or deny. That was the great thing about being one of a kind. No answers. Ever.
Upset, I dried off and pulled on my biggest, softest sweater. It was a pretty pale blue and the sleeves came down past my hands. That was a bonus, since I didn't have to see my wrist. I braided my hair and grabbed my communicator. When I walked into Central Processing, Lish practically slammed herself into the glass in her urgency to talk to me.
“Evie, are you okay? I have been so worried.”
I smiled weakly. “Yeah, it's been kind of a sucky couple of weeks.”
“Please, sit down. You have not visited me much lately. I missed you.”
I dragged over one of the rolling chairs, sitting down and pulling up my legs.