Mrs. Jewkes held up her eyes and hands, and said, Such art, such
caution, such cunning, for thy years!--Well!--Why, said I, (that he
might be more on his guard, though I hope there cannot be deceit in
this; 'twould be strange villany, and that is a hard word, if there
should!) I have been so used to be made a fool of by fortune, that I
hardly can tell how to govern myself; and am almost an infidel as to
mankind. But I hope I may be wrong; henceforth, Mrs. Jewkes, you shall
regulate my opinions as you please, and I will consult you in every
thing--(that I think proper, said I to myself)--for, to be sure, though
I may forgive her, I can never love her. She left Mr. Williams and me, a few minutes, together; and I said,
Consider, sir, consider what you have done. 'Tis impossible, said he,
there can be deceit. I hope so, said I; but what necessity was there
for you to talk of your former declaration? Let this be as it will, that
could do no good, especially before this woman. Forgive me, sir; they
talk of women's promptness of speech; but, indeed, I see an honest heart
is not always to be trusted with itself in bad company. He was going to reply, but though her task is said to be ALMOST (I took
notice of that word) at an end, she came up to us again, and said; Well,
I had a good mind to show you the way to church to-morrow. I was glad of
this, because, though in my present doubtful situation I should not have
chosen it, yet I would have encouraged her proposal, to be able to judge
by her being in earnest or otherwise, whether one might depend upon the
rest. But Mr. Williams again indiscreetly helped her to an excuse, by
saying, that it was now best to defer it one Sunday, and till matters
were riper for my appearance: and she readily took hold of it, and
confirmed his opinion. After all, I hope the best: but if this should turn out to be a plot,
I fear nothing but a miracle can save me. But, sure the heart of man is
not capable of such black deceit. Besides, Mr. Williams has it under his
own hand, and he dare not but be in earnest: and then again, though to
be sure he has been very wrong to me, yet his education, and parents'
example, have neither of them taught him such very black contrivances.
So I will hope for the best. Mr. Williams, Mrs. Jewkes, and I, have been all three walking together
in the garden; and she pulled out her key, and we walked a little in the
pasture to look at the bull, an ugly, grim, surly creature, that hurt
the poor cook-maid; who is got pretty well again. Mr. Williams pointed
at the sunflower, but I was forced to be very reserved to him; for the
poor gentleman has no guard, no caution at all. We have just supped together, all three: and I cannot yet think that all
must be right.--Only I am resolved not to marry, if I can help it; and I
will give no encouragement, I am resolved, at least, till I am with you. Mr. Williams said, before Mrs. Jewkes, he would send a messenger with
a letter to my father and mother.--I think the man has no discretion
in the world: but l desire you will send no answer, till I have the
pleasure and happiness which now I hope for soon, of seeing you. He
will, in sending my packet, send a most tedious parcel of stuff, of my
oppressions, my distresses, my fears; and so I will send this with it;
(for Mrs. Jewkes gives me leave to send a letter to my father, which
looks well;) and I am glad I can conclude, after all my sufferings, with
my hopes, to be soon with you, which I know will give you comfort; and
so I rest, begging the continuance of your prayers and blessings, Your ever dutiful DAUGHTER.