'For God's sake, good sir, pity my lowly condition, and my present great
misery; and let me join with all the rest of your servants to bless that
goodness, which you have extended to every one but the poor afflicted,
heart-broken 'PAMELA.'
I thought, when I had written this letter, and that which he had
prescribed, it would look like placing a confidence in Mrs. Jewkes, to
shew them to her; and I shewed her, at the same time, my master's letter
to me; for I believed the value he expressed for me, would give me
credit with one who professed in every thing to serve him, right or
wrong; though I had so little reason, I fear, to pride myself in it: and
I was not mistaken; for it has seemed to influence her not a little, and
she is at present mighty obliging, and runs over in my praises; but
is the less to be minded, because she praises as much the author of my
miseries, and his honourable intentions, as she calls them; for I see,
that she is capable of thinking, as I fear he does, that every thing
that makes for his wicked will is honourable, though to the ruin of the
innocent. Pray God I may find it otherwise! Though, I hope, whatever
the wicked gentleman may intend, that I shall be at last rid of her
impertinent bold way of talk, when she seems to think, from his letter,
that he means honourably. I am now come to MONDAY, the 5th Day of my Bondage and Misery. I was in hope to have an opportunity to see John, and have a little
private talk with him, before he went away; but it could not be. The
poor man's excessive sorrow made Mrs. Jewkes take it into her head, to
think he loved me; and so she brought up a message to me from him this
morning that he was going. I desired he might come up to my closet, as I
called it, and she came with him. The honest man, as I thought him,
was as full of concern as before, at taking leave and I gave him two
letters, the one for Mrs. Jervis, enclosed in another for my master: but
Mrs. Jewkes would see me seal them up, lest I should enclose any thing
else.--I was surprised, at the man's going away, to see him drop a bit
of paper, just at the head of the stairs, which I took up without being
observed by Mrs. Jewkes: but I was a thousand times more surprised, when
I returned to my closet, and opening it read as follows: