Well, good Mrs. Jervis, said I, let me ask you now:--You and he have had
some talk, and you mayn't be suffered to tell me all. But, do you think,
if I was to ask to stay, that he is sorry for what he has done? Ay, and
ashamed of it too? For I am sure he ought, considering his high degree,
and my low degree, and how I have nothing in the world to trust to but
my honesty: Do you think in your own conscience now, (pray answer me
truly,) that he would never offer any thing to me again, and that I
could be safe? Alas! my dear child, said she, don't put thy home questions to me, with
that pretty becoming earnestness in thy look. I know this, that he is
vexed at what he has done; he was vexed the first time, more vexed the
second time. Yes, said I, and so he will be vexed, I suppose, the third, and the
fourth time too, till he has quite ruined your poor maiden; and who will
have cause to be vexed then?
Nay, Pamela, said she, don't imagine that I would be accessory to your
ruin for the world. I only can say, that he has, yet, done you no hurt;
and it is no wonder he should love you, you are so pretty; though so
much beneath him but, I dare swear for him, he never will offer you any
force. You say, said I, that he was sorry for his first offer in the
summer-house. Well, and how long did his sorrow last?--Only till he
found me by myself; and then he was worse than before: and so became
sorry again. And if he has deigned to love me, and you say can't help
it, why, he can't help it neither, if he should have an opportunity,
a third time to distress me. And I have read that many a man has been
ashamed of his wicked attempts, when he has been repulsed, that would
never have been ashamed of them, had he succeeded. Besides, Mrs. Jervis,
if he really intends to offer no force, What does that mean?--While you
say he can't help liking me, for love it cannot be--Does it not imply
that he hopes to ruin me by my own consent? I think, said I, (and hope
I should have grace to do so,) that I should not give way to his
temptations on any account; but it would be very presumptuous in me to
rely upon my own strength against a gentleman of his qualifications and
estate, and who is my waster; and thinks himself entitled to call me
bold-face, and what not? only for standing on my necessary defence: and
that, too, where the good of my soul and body, and my duty to God, and
my parents, are all concerned. How then, Mrs. Jervis, said I, can I ask
or wish to stay?