Judge you, from all this, if I could very well bear that you should
think yourself so well secured of my affection, that you could take the
faults of others upon yourself; and, by a supposed supererogatory merit,
think your interposition sufficient to atone for the faults of others
. Yet am I not perfect myself: No, I am greatly imperfect. Yet will I not
allow, that my imperfections shall excuse those of my wife, or make her
think I ought to bear faults in her, that she can rectify, because she
bears greater from me. Upon the whole, I may expect, that you will bear with me, and study my
temper, till, and only till, you see I am capable of returning insult
for obligation; and till you think, that I shall be of a gentler
deportment, if I am roughly used, than otherwise. One thing more I will
add, That I should scorn myself, if there was one privilege of your
sex, that a princess might expect, as my wife, to be indulged in, that
I would not allow to my Pamela; for you are the wife of my affections: I
never wished for one before you, nor ever do I hope to have another.
I hope, sir, said I, my future conduct--Pardon me, said he, my dear, for
interrupting you; but it is to assure you, that I am so well convinced
of your affectionate regard for me, that I know I might have spared the
greatest part of what I have said: And, indeed, it must be very bad
for both of us, if I should have reason to think it necessary to say
so much. But one thing has brought on another; and I have rather spoken
what my niceness has made me observe in other families, than what I fear
in my own. And, therefore, let me assure you, I am thoroughly satisfied
with your conduct hitherto. You shall have no occasion to repent it: And
you shall find, though greatly imperfect, and passionate, on particular
provocations, (which yet I will try to overcome,) that you have not
a brutal or ungenerous husband, who is capable of offering insult for
condescension, or returning evil for good.
I thanked him for these kind rules, and generous assurances: and assured
him, that they had made so much impression on my mind, that these, and
his most agreeable injunctions before given me, and such as he should
hereafter be pleased to give me, should be so many rules for my future
behaviour. And I am glad of the method I have taken of making a Journal of all that
passes in these first stages of my happiness, because it will sink the
impression still deeper; and I shall have recourse to them for my better
regulation, as often as I shall mistrust my memory.