My sister Davers, said he, (and seemed, I thought, to be as much at a
loss for words as I,) would have had you live with her; but she would
not do for you what I am resolved to do, if you continue faithful and
obliging. What say'st thou, my girl? said he, with some eagerness;
had'st thou not rather stay with me, than go to my sister Davers? He
looked so, as filled me with affrightment; I don't know how; wildly, I
thought. I said, when I could speak, Your honour will forgive me; but as you have
no lady for me to wait upon, and my good lady has been now dead this
twelvemonth, I had rather, if it would not displease you, wait upon Lady
Davers, because-I was proceeding, and he said, a little hastily--Because you are a
little fool, and know not what's good for yourself. I tell you I will
make a gentlewoman of you, if you be obliging, and don't stand in your
own light; and so saying, he put his arm about me, and kissed me!
Now, you will say, all his wickedness appeared plainly. I struggled and
trembled, and was so benumbed with terror, that I sunk down, not in a
fit, and yet not myself; and I found myself in his arms, quite void
of strength; and he kissed me two or three times, with frightful
eagerness.--At last I burst from him, and was getting out of the
summer-house; but he held me back, and shut the door.
I would have given my life for a farthing. And he said, I'll do you no
harm, Pamela; don't be afraid of me. I said, I won't stay. You won't,
hussy! said he: Do you know whom you speak to? I lost all fear, and all
respect, and said, Yes, I do, sir, too well!--Well may I forget that I
am your servant, when you forget what belongs to a master.
I sobbed and cried most sadly. What a foolish hussy you are! said he:
Have I done you any harm? Yes, sir, said I, the greatest harm in the
world: You have taught me to forget myself and what belongs to me,
and have lessened the distance that fortune has made between us, by
demeaning yourself, to be so free to a poor servant. Yet, sir, I will be
bold to say, I am honest, though poor: and if you was a prince, I would
not be otherwise.
He was angry, and said, Who would have you otherwise, you foolish slut!
Cease your blubbering. I own I have demeaned myself; but it was only to
try you. If you can keep this matter secret, you'll give me the better
opinion of your prudence; and here's something, said he, putting some
gold in my hand, to make you amends for the fright I put you in. Go,
take a walk in the garden, and don't go in till your blubbering is over:
and I charge you say nothing of what is past, and all shall be well, and
I'll forgive you. I won't take the money, indeed, sir, said I, poor as I am I won't take
it. For, to say truth, I thought it looked like taking earnest, and so
I put it upon the bench; and as he seemed vexed and confused at what he
had done, I took the opportunity to open the door, and went out of the
summer-house. He called to me, and said, Be secret; I charge you, Pamela; and don't go
in yet, as I told you.