I want to protect her. From Pilar and Zachary and the rumors, and hell, I even want to protect her from … me.
I’m afraid I’ll hurt her. The very last thing I want to do.
“Help me understand why I’m doing this. Why I’m pretending with Zachary,” she says.
“I need to figure out what’s going on with Pilar and your father, and the only way I can do that is with Zachary occupied. If he’s too focused on you, he won’t think about Pilar,” I explain. And with Pilar believing I’ve ended it with Violet, she’ll open up to me and let me back in.
“Right.” Pressing her lips together, she nods, her lids lifting so she can meet my gaze once more. Tears linger in her eyelashes, stream down her cheeks, and I kiss them away from her skin, rub my thumbs underneath her eyes to catch the ones still clinging there.
“Don’t cry, baby. Everything will work out just the way you want it to. I know it will.” I kiss her sweet lips, fighting against the surge of protectiveness I feel for her, but it’s no use.
It’s there. I need to face it. Face exactly what I feel for this woman.
If only I could figure that out.
“And if I don’t know exactly how I want this to work out?” she asks cautiously.
Damn this girl. She is so perceptive. “Then we’ll figure it out day by day.”
“I did it.”
I slam the door of Pilar’s office behind me as I stride toward her desk, stopping just in front of it. She frowns at me, looking completely irritated that I’m standing in her office, bugging her. A far cry from the crazy woman who gyrated on my knee yesterday afternoon like some sort of highly skilled stripper and brought herself to orgasm in a matter of minutes.
“You did what?” she asks, sounding bored.
“Violet Fowler is officially broken.” I smile and settle into the chair across from her desk, getting comfortable. I figure she’ll have a lot of questions to ask and I’ve spent the last hour in my office alone, trying to figure out exactly what she would want to know.
I’m as prepared for this interrogation as any proper Boy Scout would be.
“Broken how?” Her gaze flicks to mine for the briefest moment before she returns her attention to her laptop. “I have a meeting in thirty. I don’t have time for petty bullshit.”
I stand and slam my hands on her desk, leaning down so l lurk over her like some sort of starving vulture looking for a meal. “I said that I broke Violet. Just as you asked. I dumped her this morning. I have no doubt she’ll be back in Lawrence’s arms by the early evening.”
She studies me, looking for a slip, looking for the lie. I keep my expression impassive, my demeanor calm. Any cracks in the façade and she’ll jump all over them. She’s particular like that. It’s a skill that’s worked well for her through the years.
“God, I knew if given the chance she’d probably return to Zachary. So dreadfully boring.” Pilar rolls her eyes, then slams her laptop shut. I have her complete attention now. “Tell me what happened. I want every detail.”
Here come the lies. The chance I have to slip up and fuck up is at hand. I need to keep my facts straight and give Pilar exactly what she wants. I sit back down in the chair. “I went over to her place. We’d agreed to meet there.”
“What? To fuck?” She snickers, and I send her a hard glare that shuts her up.
“I strip her naked. We start going at it. In the middle of the sex I tell her she’s awful. A bad lay. I’d been saying all sorts of things throughout the entire act. Little things that probably made her question whether it was an insult or not. I’m breaking her down, fucking with her head, fucking with her body until she can’t see straight, let alone think straight, and she starts crying.”
Pilar’s eyes light with pleasure and she props her elbow on the edge of her desk, leaning her chin onto her curled fist. “Crying? My, my, Ryder. Have you ever made a girl cry in bed before?”
“No. She’s my first.” We both laugh, and I ignore the sick feeling in my gut. I hate doing this. Making fun of Violet, making her look weak and pitiful when she’s far from that. “Right after I fucked her, I left. She texted me but I didn’t respond. Left me a voicemail but I deleted it. When she showed up in my office this morning, I told her I didn’t think we were a good idea anymore.”
“You were never a good idea, my darling,” Pilar says snidely and I glare at her.
Bitch. I can’t wait to fuck her over.
“She cried and raged on over what an asshole she thought I was. Then she stormed out.” I pause. Making up these lies is harder than I thought it would be. “So it’s over. Done. I did what you asked. Now it’s your turn to deliver.” I lean back in the chair and cross my arms over my chest, my fingers linked. “Tell me. Who have you been talking to?”
She purses her lips. “I can’t reveal all my secrets.”
“Not even to me?”
“Especially not to you. You’ll run right over me and cut me out. I prefer to be the middleman.” Her smile grows. “Or middlewoman. You know, that reminds me, I’ve never participated in a threesome. Have you?”
She turns everything back to sex. And that is the last thing I want to think about when it comes to Pilar. “No. Too much work, not enough return.”
A laugh escapes her. “Hmm. Selfish as usual, Ryder. I wouldn’t mind giving it a try.” She taps her finger against her lips, her usual look when she’s contemplating something. If she suggests getting it on with her, me, and old man Fowler? Fuck that noise. No way, no how.