Two hundred and twenty dollars’ worth of cookies, not to mention frightening the hell out of Dee tonight. And what about the lipstick incident on her bathroom mirror? Could that have been Chase, too? But why would he do that to Dee? Deirdre.
His jaw clenched even as he thought of her bastard of an ex-husband. Jacob forced himself to relax. He would deal with all of those feelings later. First, he had to settle Emily.
She slouched outside the door to her suite, the baby monitor clutched in her hand. He didn’t need to step any closer. Even in the dimly lit parking lot he could see well enough the accusation in her eyes, along with unshed tears. She didn’t understand why he’d turned in Chase.
How many more times would Chase let Emily down before she realized she deserved better? But then even Dee, an adult, had been blinded by love. Love for another man.
God, he felt hollowed out inside. He just wanted to give his kid sister a hug she no doubt needed.
Jacob stepped forward, but Emily backed away, into her room, closing the door quietly—but firmly. Maybe she would be calmer, more reasonable, in the morning.
Yeah, right. Jacob shrugged through half the kinks in his shoulders and climbed the porch steps toward Dee, slower than when he’d charged up them earlier.
As much as he’d lost, she’d lost more. He sliced away his own needs, safer for him, anyway, and focused on hers.
Jacob pushed through the motel door and found her curled in the corner of the sofa staring out the window. He tossed his coat onto the coat tree.
Dee gnawed on a fingernail. “I should have gone with the cops.”
“You know there’s nothing you can do at the police station tonight. They have the number here. Maybe they’ll have some answers when we head into town tomorrow.”
Dee dangled her arm along the couch back, her fingers drawing little circles in the condensation on the window. Outside, snow began spiraling from the sky, heralding an approaching storm. “Blane could be anywhere by now.”
He knew that, but she didn’t need it confirmed. “The authorities were searching blind before. Not now.”
Dee exploded from the sofa. “I can’t just sit here and do nothing. I have to find them.”
“You need to be patient a little while longer.”
She ripped a coat off the rack. A surplus of adrenaline oozed from her. “My son’s out there somewhere. He’s only four. He can’t sleep without his airplane blanket and a story before bed. He’s never been separated from me for more than three nights at Blane’s, and Evan has a life-threatening peanut allergy. I can’t just wait here and do nothing. I never should have let that cop persuade me to sit tight.”
He shouldn’t have been surprised by her frenzy. She’d held it together throughout a hellish night. From past experiences in combat, he’d seen enough to know the adrenaline letdown would crash into her soon.
Two long strides and he caught her. He grabbed her arm just as she reached for the door. “You’ve done everything you can. Filing a police report. Calling everyone you could think of who might have had contact with your ex-husband.”
“It’s not enough.” She tried to wrench her wrist free, then flailed with her other. Her pitch rose, approaching hysteria. She jerked, scratched, kicked with surprising strength. “Jacob, damn it, let me go. I have to do something.”
He trapped both of her wrists and gave her a light shake. “Think. Even if I gave you the keys to the truck and a full tank of gas, what more can you do tonight?”
Reason returned to her eyes just before they flooded with tears. She sagged like a rag doll in his grip. “There really isn’t anything I can do, is there?”
“No, Dee, I’m afraid there isn’t.”
She crumpled against his chest. “Oh God, Jacob, this is so much worse than not knowing. I didn’t think anything could hurt that much, but I was so wrong.”
“I know.” Jacob gentled his hands along her hair again. He gritted his teeth against the need to bury his face in her neck. “I know.”
“Hold me. Please.” Half sobbing, gasping in air, she burrowed against his chest.
She squirmed against him as if to nestle closer still. He tried to ignore his reaction to her soft body wriggling against his. As much as he wanted, needed, burned to lose himself inside her and forget about the whole damned evening, she needed something else from him.
Or so he thought.
Her hands grappled at his shirt, his shoulders, his hair, dragging his head down to hers. Tapping the last dregs of his self-control, he held himself back.
With a none-too-gentle yank, Dee urged him closer. “Kiss me, damn it.”
He wanted to, needed to, but knew it was wrong. The wrong time. The wrong reason. But she sure as hell felt like the right woman. “You don’t know what you’re saying. It’s adrenaline talking.”
Fire snapped from her eyes, full force and full of will. “Adrenaline? Is that what it was yesterday? Or every day we’ve been together and I wanted this?” Her pupils widened until her eyes turned near-black, like heavy storm clouds. “For all this time I’ve been trying to remember, yet now I’m finding I desperately need to forget. Please, for just a few hours, help me forget.”
Good intentions fled. All his honorable platitudes seemed to have checked out for the night, and he couldn’t think of a single rebuttal. His fingers flexed around her wrists as he stared into the tear-misted eyes of this woman he wanted more than air.
Time to quit fighting it. He hadn’t been able to walk away from her the first time he saw her any more than he could turn away now.
Chapter 12
W as she getting through to him? If he turned her down, she would—
Do what?
Shriek her frustration at him and the whole world? She’d already done enough shouting for one night, for a lifetime even.
But the very trait that made Jacob so attractive to her could be the one thing that caused him to pull away. The man was so honorable.
She needed to forget what Blane had done to her and their child. Just for tonight until she could do something to find Evan.
“Jacob,” she moaned, demanded. Determination fueled her fingers as she shoved his buttons free, working her way from his neck down the camouflage uniform. All those necessary layers of cold-weather wear kept her from finding the salty skin she yearned to taste. She groaned her frustration. His hands covered hers.
Uh-oh. Here comes more talk of right and wrong and morning-after regrets.
Stretching onto her toes, Dee grazed her mouth along his neck, up to his ear. She’d never considered herself much of a femme fatale and feared she would fall short now. Blane’s infidelity had torn at her self-confidence. He’d been her first, and after their split, she’d shut that part of her away rather than risk more rejection.
Would she have ever pursued Jacob so relentlessly before she’d lost her memory? Of course not. How odd that it had taken a hefty dose of amnesia to set her sensuality free. Still, she wasn’t sure her fledgling sense of adventure could withstand Jacob turning from her.
Pride forced a huskiness to her voice. “Don’t tell me ‘no.’”
“All right.”
That stopped her faster than any long speech about impulsive mistakes. Pride ducked behind surprise.
Dee’s grip tightened around Jacob’s collar. “You don’t think this is a bad idea? You don’t think it’s an adrenaline high that—”
Jacob silenced her with a hard kiss.
He rested his forehead against hers. “Yes, I do think we’re both riding an adrenaline high. But no, I don’t think we should stop. We’ve both wanted this too long to waste it by rushing. Let’s take it slow.” His light blue eyes turned smoky, whispering over her. “Really slow.”
The hungry sweep of his eyes left Dee with no doubts. He wasn’t going to leave her hurting and alone. Relief turned her legs to soup, like one of those Sunday Jell-O molds left out too long.
It was going to happen. She and Jacob would be n**ed in a matter of moments—slow, stolen moments.
He dipped his head to drink unending, leisurely kisses from her mouth. What made the feel of his hands on her so special, so different?
She met his questing tongue with her own, reacquainting herself with the mind-numbing taste of Jacob. Liquid fire poured straight through her like a swig of his beer.
He looped an arm around her waist to mesh their bodies and walked her with him, their synchronized steps almost dancelike. Jacob locked the door, flicked a switch activating the No Vacancy light in the window, and backed her into his apartment, never once halting his deliberate homage to her lips. Every brush of their bodies against each other nudged his solid arousal against her stomach, a reminder, a promise.
Jacob backed her across his darkened apartment until they stood bathed in the moonbeams streaming through the skylight. True to his word, he peeled away her clothes with torturous precision. His broad hands tunneled beneath the sweatshirt as inch by shivery inch, he bunched the fabric up and free.
Her yellow floral shirt hung loose, draping over her breasts. Jacob fingered the small rips where there had once been pearly buttons. His jaw flexed, and she feared the mood had been broken.
“Jacob?”
Groaning, he pressed her to him. “I should have been here for you.”
She feathered her fingers over his brows. So many shadows lingered in his eyes. Insecurities nipped. What did she have to offer? Very little according to Blane.
She could give Jacob reassurance. “You’ve been there for me since the second I first walked into the lobby. You’re here now.”
“Not a real hardship tour, being here for you tonight.”
In spite of his lighthearted tone, Dee searched his eyes and found a mirror of her own thoughts, an appreciation for the rare window of time they had together.
She cupped his face in her hands. “I need you. I need you so much tonight.”
Suddenly slow didn’t seem as important as the urge to be closer. She reached for him as he reached for her. Their hands dodged each other to stroke aside clothes and any lingering inhibitions. They made their way up the loft steps, leaving a path behind them.
Camouflage draped over yellow flowered flannel.
Rugged thermal rested beneath a white lace bra.
When they reached the top step, she wore nothing but her panties. He wore nothing at all.
Moonlight caressed every inch of Jacob as she longed to. She walked her fingers down his chest, her skin so pale against the bronzed vitality of him. So much strength beneath her hands and she ached to soak some of it up to carry her through the coming days.
He grazed the backs of his fingers along her jaw, her neck, between her breasts. She gasped, her mouth drying as moist heat pooled between her legs.
Jacob sealed his mouth to hers, probing deeply, fully, as he would later do with his body. Her senses already heightened from an evening of too much emotion, she hooked her arms around his neck and simply hung on.
His hands roved, possessed, until he splayed one hand along the middle of her back, the other cupping her bottom. He lifted her, trailing kisses along her jaw. Raised her higher still, his mouth nibbling down her neck.
Jacob kissed a moist path between her breasts. Her breath hitched in anticipation. He lingered until she wanted to yank his hair in frustration.
“Jacob, forget slow.”
She felt his smile against her skin, another tantalizing brush that pulled the thread of desire tauter within her. He puffed a teasing blast of air over her just before he latched on. She exhaled, shuddered and arched in a silent invitation for more.
Dee braced her hands on his shoulders, her arms trembling as her legs dangled. He laved equal attention on her other breast, feasting alternately from both until her head fell back. Her hair swayed along her spine, sending a fresh tingle along her already-shimmering nerves.
Jacob lowered her to his bed, and in the flash of time before he joined her, Dee devoured him with her gaze. The very size of him thrilled her. Six foot four inches of muscled man, all hard and eager for her.