I got her under the covers, and I stretched out beside her, tucking her warm body close. She didn’t stir once through the whole thing. With her cheek against my chest, I kept running my hands through her hair, hoping that the motion could reach her in her sleep and would soothe some of her troubles. I knew she liked it when I played with her hair. It seemed like such an insignificant thing, but it was all I had at that moment.
At some point, I drifted off to sleep. I hadn’t wanted to, but the last six or so hours had taken their toll. I had to have slept for a couple of hours, because when I opened my eyes, daylight streamed in through the gap in the curtains, but it only felt like minutes.
And Kat wasn’t beside me.
I blinked quickly, rising up on my elbows. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, dressed in the shirt and pants I’d found last night. Her hair fell down the middle of her back; the waves shifted as she turned toward me, bringing a leg up on the bed.
“I didn’t wake you, did I?”
“No.” I cleared my throat, glancing around the room, slightly disoriented. “How long have you been awake?”
She shrugged. “Not too long. It’s a little past ten in the morning.”
“Wow. That late?” I rubbed my brow with the heel of my hand as I sat up.
She looked away, studying the strap on her flip-flops. Her cheeks were red. “Sorry about last night. I didn’t mean to cry all over you.”
“Hey.” I scooted over, sliding an arm around her waist, and tugged her closer. “I needed the second shower. It was better than the first.”
She laughed hoarsely. “That was a huge mood killer, right?”
“Nothing kills my mood when it comes to you, Kitten.” I brushed her hair back, tucking it behind her ear. “How are you feeling now?”
“Better,” she said, lifting her gaze. Her eyes were red and swollen. “I think…I think I needed to do that.”
“Want to talk about it?”
She wetted her lips nervously as she fidgeted with the ends of her hair. I was happy to see the opal bracelet still on her slim wrist. “I… A lot happened.”
I held my breath, not daring to move, because I knew it took a lot for her to get the words out sometimes. She internalized a ton of crap, kept it in. Finally, she gave a wobbly little smile.
“I was so scared,” she whispered, and my chest spasmed. “When I saw the headlights? I thought it was them, and I just freaked out, you know? I’ve been in that place for four months. I know that’s nothing compared to Dawson and Beth, but…I don’t know how they did it.”
I exhaled slowly. I didn’t know how they did it, either, how Dawson and Beth weren’t more messed up than they already were. I kept my mouth shut as I ran my hand up her back and then down, up again.
Her gaze focused on the bathroom door, and she was quiet for what felt like forever. Then, very slowly, the words tumbled out of her. The onyx sprays. The thorough exams. The stress tests with the hybrids and how she’d refused to participate, and what that had meant for her until they had paired her up with Blake. How he’d goaded her into fighting him and tapping into the Source. The guilt that she carried for his death was evident in her voice. She told me everything, and through it all, I had to check myself about a million times. Rage like I’d never known coated my insides.
“I’m sorry,” she said, shaking her head. “I’m rambling. It’s just that…I needed to get it out.”
“Don’t apologize, Kat.” I wanted to punch a hole in the wall. Instead I slid over so I was sitting beside her, thigh to thigh. “You know what happened with Blake isn’t your fault, right?”
She twisted a section of hair around two fingers. “I killed him, Daemon.”
“But you were defending yourself.”
“No.” She let go of the hair and looked at me. Her eyes were glassy. “I wasn’t defending myself, not really. He goaded me, and I lost control.”
“Kat, you have to look at the entire situation. You were getting beat up…” Saying that out loud made me want to go back to the compound and burn it down. “You were going through a lot of stress. And Blake…whatever his reasons were for doing what he did, he repeatedly put you and so many other people in danger.”
“You think he had it coming?”
A real sadistic part of me wanted to say yes, because yeah, some days I thought that. “I don’t know, but what I do know is that he went into the room to goad you into fighting him. You did. I know you didn’t want to kill him or anyone else, but it happened. You’re not a bad person. You’re not a monster.”
Her brows pinched, and she opened her mouth.
“And no, you’re not like Blake. So don’t even go there. You could never be like him. You’re good inside, Kitten. You bring out the best in people—even me.” I nudged her with my arm, and she cracked a grin. “That alone should earn you the Nobel Peace Prize.”
She laughed softly, and then she rose onto her knees. Wrapping her arms around my shoulders, she leaned down and placed the softest kiss, the kind I’d treasure forever, against my lips.
“What was that for?” I circled my arms around her waist.
“A thank-you,” she said, resting her forehead against mine. “Most guys would’ve probably left in the middle of the night and run far away from the hysterics.”
“I’m not most guys.” I tugged her over so she was sitting in my lap. “Haven’t you figured that out yet?”