When word came late in the evening that the invading Luxen had turned into one giant buffet for the Arum, she’d smiled as those around us celebrated the victory, the end of this madness. But there hadn’t been a lot of time to comfort her or to really talk about it. All I’d been able to do was hold her while she fell asleep. Didn’t seem like enough.
There really wasn’t ever enough.
My chest was heavy with the loss, with the pain I knew she’d suffer for a long time to come from a death that was so needless and cruel. Her family had been stripped away from her. Her father lost to cancer and her mother to one of my own kind.
Still, like some kind of miracle, her last words to me before she’d fallen asleep had been I love you. The fact that she still could feel something like that blew me away.
I would’ve done anything to save her from this pain, but like so many other things I wanted to go back and erase, this was one of them we would have to learn to accept, that we would have to face together.
Kat stirred against me, stretching out in a way that reminded me so much of the nickname I’d given her. A smile pulled at the corners of my lips as her lashes fluttered open.
Sleep clouded her pretty eyes as they met mine. “Hey.”
“Hey yourself.”
Her hand flattened out against my bare chest as her gaze swept across my face. “Have you been up long?”
“I’m not even sure I slept.”
“So you’ve been watching me sleep?”
One side of my lips kicked up. “Maybe.”
“Well, look who’s being the creeper this time around.”
“Call me what you want, I don’t care.” I moved my thumb along her lower lip. “I spent hours staring at the best damn scenery.”
Her cheeks flushed. “Flattery will get you everything.”
“I already have everything.”
“That was sweet of you.” She patted my chest like I was a good boy, and I ignored the parts of me that got all happy about that. Her gaze drifted away and circled the room before coming back to me. “It’s really over, isn’t it?”
I curled my arm around her, overlooking the rush of pins and needles. “I think so. I mean, for the most part. Things are going to be different. Life will be different, but it’s over.”
Kat’s lashes lowered as she bit down on her lower lip in a way that got those parts of me paying close attention. “What are we going to do now?” she whispered.
“Whatever we want to do.”
She rolled onto her back but didn’t get very far. “That sounds really nice.”
The sudden clanging of pots from the kitchen down below brought a winsome smile to her face. “I’m assuming Dee and Archer are up?”
“Yeah. I think I heard them moving around not too long ago. They’re probably making good use of the fact that whoever was staying here kept the kitchen stocked.” My brows knitted. “Archer supposedly slept in Dawson’s room last night, but I heard a bedroom—”
“Daemon.” She laughed.
I sighed. “I know. Turning over a new leaf and blah, blah.” I started to get up. “I better go and see—”
Her arm had snaked up, looping around my neck, and she tugged me down. Yeah, I didn’t resist. There was no such thing as willpower when it came to her, especially not when she lifted her head and kissed me.
Kat was all warm and soft under me, and that kiss quickly spun into something else. Her leg curled around my calf and her hands slid down my back, reaching the band on the pajama bottoms I’d found, and then slipped under.
Hot damn.
I forgot about sneaking around in bedrooms, about who was downstairs, and about almost everything else as she made this breathy sound that caused my skin to tighten. Her nails scraped along my skin as I got my hands under that borrowed shirt, over the length of her smooth skin. She arched into me, and I wanted her. I always wanted her. Hell, I’d spend eternity needing her, but we had time. Later today. Tonight. Tomorrow. We had a week, a month, and a year from now. We finally had a future and many more moments like this.
But right now, she needed me.
Her hands made their way to my front, and a ragged sound caught in my throat. Okay. Clarification. She needed more than this.
Finding the willpower I’d thought I didn’t have earlier but discovered I could exercise when it really mattered, I pulled away from her, just a little, and got her hands back to where I could see them.
Her brows pinched as she stared up at me, eyes a deep, smoky gray. I kissed her softly, lingering longer than I should. “How are you doing?” I asked, my voice rough in my own ears.
“Um, well, I was—”
“Not that.” I sat up, putting a little space between us so I wouldn’t change my mind and do all kinds of things to her. “How are you feeling after . . . after yesterday?”
She stilled for a moment, and then her chest rose sharply as she squeezed her eyes shut. “I don’t want to think about that right now.”
“Kat—”
“I don’t.” She tucked her legs under her as she rose. Clasping my cheeks, she leaned in until we were eye to eye. When she spoke, I swore my heart cracked in my chest. The pain of her words was so very real. “I know what you’re doing, and God, I love you for it, but I’m not ready, Daemon. I’m not, because I can’t even think about it without wanting to bring down this house or go curl in a ball. I don’t want to feel any of those things. When I lost my dad, it hurt—hurt so badly, and I don’t want to experience that hurt. The only thing I want to feel is you right now. The only thing I want to think about is how you make me feel. That’s what I need from you.”