“When I was fourteen.”
“We could leave right after graduation. I’ll pick you up, and we can all go to dinner to celebrate, and then we can go to the beach.”
I look up at Dad. “Are you going, too?”
He shakes his head and pretends to sort through the mail. “Not this time.”
But isn’t this supposed to be the last time?
“So, it’s settled,” Mom sings again. She swipes a hand beneath her nose and sniffles. “We’re going to the beach.”
“Yay,” I say, deadpan.
“Carrie,” Dad growls.
I force the corners of my lips to turn up. “Yay,” I sing, pumping my fist in the air. “We’re going to the beach!” I look up at Dad. “Can I go back to my room now?”
He glances toward my mother and she just shrugs. He leans over and kisses my forehead. He smells like wood chips and aftershave.
I start toward the hallway, and my mom’s voice calls to me.
“Carrie,” she says. I look back toward her. “I think I’m supposed to tell you that I’m dying and that this will be my last hurrah and that I want you to share it with me. But I’m just going to tell you that I want to spend the summer with you, even if you act like this the whole time, because I’ll take what I can get.”
Tears start to burn my eyes and I blink them back furiously. “I’ll go,” I whisper.
Dad puts his hands on my shoulders from behind and squeezes. “But she vows not to enjoy a single minute of it.”
Mom laughs. But it’s a sound with no joy in it at all. “I’ll take it.”
I nod and run toward my room. I go inside it and lean heavily against the wall. I leave my door cracked so I can hear what they’re talking about. But they’re so quiet that I can’t hear a thing. I do know, however, that my mom doesn’t leave until the early hours of the morning.
Nick
I let myself into the Michaels’ beach house and look around. It hasn’t been opened in a while, years probably. At least three. I don’t remember seeing Mrs. Michaels here even after the separation. I am pretty sure that she got the house in the divorce, because she’s the one who sends the checks.
I’d love to know what happened to cause the separation. And I’d like even more to know what caused Carrie to ditch me completely. A letter every now and then would have been nice. Or an e-mail. There are so many ways to communicate now that I can’t even think of all the ways she could have contacted me.
I nose around in their house and pull the dust covers off the furniture. It makes me sneeze and my eyes water, but someone has to do it. I rummage around under their counter until I find some furniture polish, and I go around and get rid of the dust that’s left and I vacuum. I’ve done worse things for money, and Mrs. Michaels is more than generous. She’s paid me way too much to take care of her lawn for a long time. I step outside when I hear a car door, thinking it’s the air conditioner repairman here to do the service. But as I go down the steps, I just see the neighbor’s son as he gets something out of his trunk.
I have never hated anyone quite as much as I hate this guy. His family rented the house next to Carrie’s all last summer, and I got to know him fairly well during that time. I even invited him to hang out with me and Malone a few times. Until he met Jackie. Then I spent all my time keeping him away from her, until I finally gave up and let her get her heart broken. He’s part of the reason why she is the way she is now. She doesn’t trust herself to make good choices around men anymore.
He raises his hand in a weak wave. “Nick,” he says. He gestures toward the Michaels house. “Somebody moving in?” he asks. I already removed the hurricane shutters and opened the house up.
“Nobody you need to know,” I toss back. I want to say “mind your own freaking business” but I keep that part to myself.
“Hey,” he calls, and he follows me around the corner of the house. “Do you know where I can find Jackie?” He grins lazily at me as he leans against the house, while I tip the cover off the air conditioner.
“Why do you want her?” I ask without looking up.
“She’s a fun lay, man. You know that.”
His nose is crooked from the last time I hit him. And that was over Jack, too. “She’s off-limits,” I say, grunting as I move the heavy metal.
He rubs the bridge of his nose, his lazy grin turning into a scowl. “You doing her again?”
“None of your business,” I say.
“Then you won’t care if I go looking for her.”
I get to my feet and advance quickly, so quickly that he stumbles back to lean against the house. I prop his chin up with my forearm, and he squirms until he realizes that he’s not going to get free. He just balances there on his tiptoes, trying to take in a breath. “Stay away from Jack,” I say. “And from Amber and Rose and particularly the girl who lives here.” I let him down and point toward the house. “She’s off-limits, too.”
“Who is she?” he asks, and I curse myself for even bringing her up because I just drew a great big target on her back.
“Go into town and take your pick of women. But leave my friends alone.” Leave mine alone. I consider Jack and Amber and Rose and the rest of the summer regulars to be off-limits. And Carrie—she’s mine. All mine. Until she tells me she’s not.
“We’ll see,” he says over his shoulder as he walks away.