“Don’t look like you’re doing good. In fact, you look like someone killed your puppy,” he said teasingly.
I knew that Maryann and Mase hadn’t told Major anything. I trusted Major because he loved his family, and I was an extension of that family, but I hated people knowing before Grant. Until Grant knew about our child, I didn’t want anyone else knowing. “Just having one of those days,” I replied, hoping that would shut him up.
“Huh,” he replied, then looked out at Mase, who was on one of the horses. “To hear the news tell it, you were hot and heavy with Grant Carter, Rush Finlay’s former stepbrother. But I’ve been here a couple weeks, and I haven’t seen the guy who shoved down three reporters to get you into Rush’s Range Rover and out of the public eye. You know, that clip has been played about a million times. The guy looked fierce and ready to slay dragons for you. Makes me curious about where he is now.”
I had watched that clip, too. I had watched it over and over again. It was on YouTube, and I played it often. Not because it was the moment I left Grant but because Major was right. Grant looked determined and fierce. He had yelled at reporters and basically torn a path through them, from his front door to Rush’s car, to get to me. But the part that I couldn’t forget was the look on his face, perfectly captured by the cameras, when I had driven away. He had regretted his last words to me. The pain in his eyes had been clear, and it broke my heart and healed it all at once every time I watched the clip. He hadn’t meant what he said. He had been scared.
“He doesn’t know where I am,” I admitted before I could stop myself.
“Really? And how is that? You hiding from him, too?”
Major was being nosy, and maybe I should have told him to mind his own business, but I didn’t do that. I wanted to talk about Grant with someone. Needed to. “We needed space. He was scared of my heart condition. He doesn’t want to lose me,” I explained vaguely.
Major didn’t respond. Instead, he reached for a piece of hay and stuck it in his mouth. With Mase’s cowboy hat perched on his head and his worn-out jeans, Major looked like he belonged in Texas. He didn’t look like a world traveler. I knew for a fact that he could speak three different languages fluently.
“He not trying to find you? Or call you?”
I had to delete voice mails every week so that they didn’t fill up my in-box. I couldn’t bring myself to listen to his voice, but I also didn’t want it to become impossible for him to leave messages. “No, he calls every night. He’s been trying to find me.”
Major pulled the hay out of his mouth and frowned at me. “Then why you sitting here looking so sad?”
Because I missed Grant. I wanted to answer his call. I was just too scared. “I have reasons,” I replied.
“You got reasons, huh? All right, then. I just hope those reasons are worth it,” he replied. “I don’t know if any girl could get me to leave her daily messages that go unanswered for two months. I would eventually give up and move on.”
If Grant gave up, what would I do? I didn’t want him to give up. But I wasn’t being fair to him. I hated this. I hated having to hurt him. But if he knew, he would only be hurt more.
“Stop flirting with my sister, and get your ass out here,” Mase called from the fence.
Major chuckled. “He’s a little overprotective, isn’t he?”
“You have no idea,” I said.
Major grinned, then stood up and sauntered down to Mase as if he didn’t have a care in the world.
Grant
“Message fifty-nine. Almost two months. I’ve never been so empty in my life. You took my soul with you. You took my heart. I’m this empty shell who goes through the motions every day, waiting for you to call me. Waiting until you answer my calls. I never imagined a life like this, but without you, I can’t imagine life. You are my life. You were what was missing in my life. I was searching so hard for something to make me feel whole. I found that with you. You lit up my world and made everything so damn bright and exciting. But now you’re gone, and I’m in a dark place, waiting. Needing to hear you. To touch you, To—”
BEEP
The end of another voice mail. It was the most dreaded moment of my day. The darkness in my life was so thick it was taking over everything. I had no way to see past it anymore. This voice mail was all I had to look forward to each day, because for three seconds, Harlow’s voice was there, telling me to leave a message. I loved that voice. I loved those three seconds.
There was a knock on the door, followed by the doorbell. I glanced down at my phone. It was after ten. No one but Rush came by anymore, and Rush had a key. I threw back my covers, reached for the discarded sweatpants on the floor, then jerked them on while I walked out of the room and toward the door.
I kicked my work boots out of the way and ignored the mud that had started collecting where I left them every day. I just didn’t care. My kitchen wasn’t in good shape, either.
Unlocking the door, I opened it to find Woods standing on the other side. Woods Kerrington was not someone I’d expect to stop by at ten thirty at night. He had a fiancée at home he should be snuggled up to. He rarely left Della’s side when he wasn’t working.
“I beat Rush here. Figures. Let me in,” Woods said, stepping inside, then glancing down at the dried mud on my floor. “I understand being depressed, but get a maid,” he said, then headed for my living room.