“Why are you crying? Did I hurt you? Does something hurt?” The nurse looked panicked.
I shook my head and sniffed. At least, the nurse in my dream was kind. “I’m still asleep,” I said as a sob broke free.
She frowned and had started to speak when the door opened and the doctor walked in. “Well, look who decided to join us.” He beamed at me.
I cried harder. I so wanted to be awake.
“What’s wrong?” the doctor asked.
“She thinks she’s still asleep,” the nurse explained.
“What? Why?”
The nurse shrugged and shook her head. “I have no idea.”
“We don’t want you crying. We want you smiling. You showed us all just how strong you are. No little heart disease is gonna keep you down. You get to see your baby girl soon. She’s a beauty, let me tell you.” He was trying to be jolly, but it wasn’t helping.
“I’m still asleep. I want to see her, but I’m still asleep,” I said as the tears continued to fall.
The doctor frowned and patted my arm. “No, Harlow, you’re awake, sweetheart. Very awake. You have a waiting room packed with people who just shouted out in a very loud cheer when Grant announced that you were awake and talking. I’ve never seen anything like it. Made my heart feel good. So stop this. Be happy. You made it. You did this.”
I shook my head. “No. Nan would never give me blood. She hates me,” I explained, and my throat burned, causing me to choke.
“Give her some water,” he instructed the nurse.
“Small sips,” she said as she held the cup to my mouth.
I did as instructed and winced as it burned my raw throat.
“Your throat will be raw for a day or so. You’ve had a feeding tube in for days. We just removed it after you woke up the first time,” the nurse explained.
“Now, about being awake. You think you’re still asleep because your sister gave you blood when you needed it?” the doctor asked.
I nodded.
“I assure you that you’re awake. Sometimes people change when faced with situations that are life-threatening. You and your sister may not get along, but she didn’t want you to die. She was willing to help.”
I managed to stop crying and let him check me out.
When he opened the door and told me he would see about getting me moved to a normal room, my father came barreling in, looking like Kiro the Rock Star Manning.
“My baby girl doesn’t do normal. I want the best. The motherfucking best. You got that? She needs room to rest and get better,” Kiro barked at the doctor.
The doctor raised his eyebrows at me and then nodded his head before stepping out of the room. Normally, I would be embarrassed, but I was just so happy to see him. That I was alive to see him.
“Hey, Daddy,” I said, and he was at my side immediately.
“I knocked out Mase to get here first. I couldn’t wait. His momma may clock me when I get back out there, but I’m not scared of Maryann. I had to see you. Scared the shit outta me, girl. I f**king don’t have that many years left, and you just shaved off at least ten of them. I think I died a thousand deaths from the moment I got that call about you. Damn near killed Grant Carter,” he said as he gently rubbed my head.
My wild, insane, passionate daddy. “I love you,” I told him.
His face crumpled, and he bent down to kiss my cheek. “I love you, too, baby girl.”
“I have a baby girl now,” I told him. “Have you seen her?”
A pained look crossed his face, and he shook his head. “I haven’t. I couldn’t. I just couldn’t, Harlow. I thought I’d lost you.”
I was his baby. Not Lila Kate. I understood that. “Grant said she’s perfect,” I told him.
“She’s yours, baby. I don’t see how she could be anything less than perfect.”
I squeezed his hand and ran my finger over my initials tattooed on his knuckles, along with my mother’s. He had gotten them done the day after I was born. He loved to tell me the story about how he had been so happy about his girls that he had to brand us on his body. “They said that Nan gave me blood,” I said, watching his face.
He frowned, and I could tell this confused him, too. “Yeah, she did. Can’t figure it out. None of us could, but then, Rush was guarding her like a damn watchdog, so I ain’t talked to her. But she did you a solid. Might be something that isn’t completely twisted and evil underneath all that after all.”
I smiled. I really hoped there was.
Grant
I opened the door to Lila Kate’s room and found Blaire sitting in the rocker, humming a song. Her eyes found me, and she nodded toward the incubator.
“They made me put her back about thirty minutes ago. They had to change her and check her and feed her. I’ve been sitting here with her, humming to help her fall asleep.”
“Harlow’s awake. She’s talking,” I said, still loving how good that sounded. Blaire shot up out of the rocking chair and threw herself into my arms. The happy cry she let out made me laugh.
“She’s awake! Oh, thank God! She’s awake! She’s gonna be OK, Grant!” She wiped at her tears. “All those letters . . . I didn’t read them, but I knew what they were, and I sat in Lila Kate’s room and cried like a baby. It broke my heart that she had even thought she needed to do that. But she’s OK. She won’t have to share herself with her baby girl through letters.”