Stepping out onto the dark landing of the stairs, it was hard to see. The voices were to the right of the porch. I started to walk toward them but paused at the top of the stairs when Grant’s familiar voice stopped me.
“I want to see her now. Just let me in. I won’t disturb her, I’ll just watch her sleep. I swear. I’m begging you, please let me see her.” The desperation in his voice was more than I could handle. I had ignored his phone calls and stayed away from him for almost two months.
“She doesn’t need to be surprised like this. She’s fragile right now, and—”
“I know she’s fragile. God! Do you think I’d do anything to hurt her? I would rather throw myself off a f**king cliff, Mase. I hurt her once, and I swear to God, I’ll never do it again. Just let me in there. Let me see her. Please, I need to be close to her.”
There was a pause. Even through the darkness, I could see Grant’s eyes as they locked on me. He stepped around Mase and started walking toward me. There was determination in his eyes, but there was also so much pain. I had caused that pain. Sure, he’d hurt me, but he’d done everything to contact me, to try to find me. He hadn’t just let me go.
“Harlow.” He said my name in such a reverent tone that my knees wobbled and my body felt weak. Relief washed through me. Relief I hadn’t been expecting. He was here, and I wasn’t going to be able to push him away. And I was relieved because I needed him. More than anyone on this earth, I needed him.
“You came,” I said simply.
He climbed the stairs, taking them two at a time until he was in front of me. “I’d have been here sooner if I knew where you were. I looked for you. I called.” He stopped searching my face for answers.
I would have to tell him, and he would leave when he understood the gamble. But right now, I needed him. I wasn’t ready to tell him about the baby and send him running away in fear.
“We’re going to go to my room, Mase,” I told my brother, glancing around Grant to see Mase watching us cautiously from the bottom of the steps.
He nodded and stayed where he was. Turning back to Grant, I slipped my hand in his and led him toward my room. I had missed him, and my emotions were all over the place. I didn’t trust myself to do or say the right thing. I just wanted him close to me. With his arms around me, I would feel like everything was OK.
Grant stayed so close to my side that his body brushed mine as we walked into the bedroom. He closed the door behind us, then pulled me tightly into his arms. We just stood there in the darkness. I wrapped my arms around his waist and laid my head on his chest. The strength from having him with me again like this was unexpected. My heart had always been weak, but loving Grant made it strong.
His lips brushed the top of my head. “I love you. I love you so much,” he whispered into the silence.
The fullness inside from hearing those words made me feel as if I would burst. I had this man’s love. Deep down, I’d known he loved me, but hearing him say that after everything I had put him through made it real.
“I love you, too,” I told him, then tilted my head back and stared up into his eyes. The emotion in those depths rocked me.
“You need to sleep. We can talk in the morning, but right now, you need to rest, and I want nothing more than to hold you while you do,” he said, then pressed a kiss on my forehead as if I were a delicate flower he didn’t want to break.
I didn’t want to sleep. There was a lot I wanted to do, but sleeping wasn’t one of them. “I’m awake now,” I told him.
He cupped my face with one hand and brushed his thumb over my cheek. “You should be asleep. I woke you up. You need sleep before we talk. I need some sleep, too.”
He picked me up, carried me over to the bed, and placed me on it before reaching for his shirt and tugging it off. I watched in wonder as his beautiful chest was revealed. He pulled off his shoes and went to unbutton his jeans and stopped. My gaze had been completely wrapped up in watching him undress, so when he didn’t continue, I lifted my eyes to meet his.
Instead of hunger, I saw pain. I didn’t understand.
“I think I’ll leave these on. We need to sleep,” he said, then climbed onto the bed and lay back, gently pulling me toward his chest. His arms encircled me.
“I’m almost scared to close my eyes,” I admitted.
“Why?” he asked, tensing underneath me.
I tucked my head back against his shoulder so I could see his face. “Because I’m afraid this is a dream. I’ll wake up, and you won’t be here,” I admitted, then reached up and touched his face to remind myself that he was real and he was here.
“If you wake up and this is a dream, call me. I’ll come running. I swear,” he said, then took my hand and kissed my palm. “All you ever have to do is call me, and I will drop anything to be with you.”
Grant
I had woken up more than an hour ago, but Harlow was still sleeping peacefully, so I wasn’t moving. She needed sleep. Her body needed all the rest it could get until I could make her see reason. I glanced down at her curled up beside me and noticed her hand resting protectively over her stomach. Even in her sleep, she was protecting the life inside her.
A tug inside me at the idea of a baby, my baby, startled me. I didn’t expect to feel anything for the life that could take her from me. But I did. I felt something. It wasn’t enough to bargain with Harlow’s life, but I felt a deep sense of loss when I thought about what we had to do. I couldn’t pretend it wasn’t there. I would mourn the baby, but I would be able to move on because I would have Harlow.