“She has. You just don’t see it. I don’t think you want to.” Liam laid out the ugly truth. “But if you won’t take her under your wing, you’ve got to let her go.”
Hammer knew he’d been unfair to Raine, but release her to another man? Some asshole who might truly hurt her? God, Hammer already felt half dead—and that would finish him off.
“How about you stay the fuck out of this?”
“Not this time. Eight years is a long time to grieve.” Liam patted his shoulder. “Why do you keep such a tight grip on your guilt?”
“So I don’t make the same mistake twice.”
“Juliet chose her path without even talking to you, mate. You couldn’t have known.”
“I should have. I knew everything else about her, down to the last miniscule detail.” But nothing changed the fact that he hadn’t known how Juliet felt until it was too late.
“I probably should have known, too. I spent a fair amount of time with her. But she didn’t communicate with either of us. You can’t take all the responsibility for her feelings. You couldn’t read her mind. It’s time for you to move on and find happiness.”
“Yeah? You think Juliet would agree?” Hammer challenged.
“Your misery won’t bring her back, but I think Raine could save you.” Liam stared at him calmly, as if he wasn’t dissecting his life with a few pointed words.
No way he would ever confess everything he felt for Raine. If he did, Liam would never stop pushing for the impossible.
Macen looked away. “It’s too late to save me.”
“That’s crap! Stop burying yourself with Juliet. If you don’t start thinking about your future, you’re going to wind up cynical and alone.”
“I think it’s a bit late for that.”
“Not yet. But you keep dipping your wick in every hole except the one you want, trying to drown your guilt and run from your feelings. Haven’t you figured out, mate, that you can’t? Raine cares enough to help you face your fears.”
“No.” God, no. Down that road lay disaster. Better to adore Raine from afar than to risk destroying her completely.
“So you just plan to keep fucking every skirt that swishes past, even though you’re miserable. Even when Raine loves you? Brilliant. How do you think that makes her feel?”
Lousy. Wounded. Insecure. He was a fucking heel.
“Whose friend are you?” Hammer bristled as Liam held up a mirror to the broken pieces of himself he’d long avoided.
“Always yours, which is why I’m trying to bloody help you. Is she a virgin, then? Is that your problem?”
“No, she’s not a goddamn virgin!” Hammer gritted his teeth. “She took care of that behind my back years ago.”
“Do you doubt that she’s submissive? Have you ever scened with her or let any other Dom give her a go?”
“Of course not! But fuck, certainly you can see it. You’ve watched Raine. She’s a natural. She tries so hard to please.”
“Well, then I see no reason not to give her what you both want, but if you’re set on self-destruction, you should be fair. Sit her down and tell her that you’re not interested. Let her find someone else to satisfy her.”
The visual that went with Liam’s words overloaded Hammer with fury. There wasn’t a Dom in the place who wouldn’t kill to have the beautiful girl spread across his bed, legs open, ecstasy softening her features. He’d been fending them off for years.
“She’s not ready.”
“Raine isn’t…or you’re not?” Liam raised a dark brow at him.
“You don’t know her like I do. No other Dom would understand… She’s impulsive and has volumes to learn about tempering her will. And her mouth. She has major trust issues, so the brat’s claws will come out when she feels challenged. Anyone else we know would try to ‘fix’ her attitude with a red ass, and they’d fail utterly. I have to protect her. Yes, she’s upset now, but she’s strong willed. Trust me, that Raine will be back.” Hammer shook his head, willing Liam to understand. “She hides behind bluster and sarcasm, but under it she’s so fucking fragile. I worry someone else would break her.”
“And you don’t think you are? I mean no disrespect, mate, but if any other Dom was putting her through this emotional torture, you’d have kicked his ass by now.”
Hammer would rather Liam had punched him in the jaw than flayed him with that truth.
“Who are you, Dr. Fucking Phil?” Hammer curled his hands into fists. “She’s not wired for what I’d want. So drop it.”
“I think you’re bloody full of shit. You’re protecting yourself because you’re afraid that if you take even a taste of her, you’ll get addicted and lose your heart. You’re terrified she’ll have the power to hurt you.”
He hated that Liam knew him so well, but he wasn’t about to admit that his friend was right. Instead, he clenched his jaw and glared. “I said that’s enough.”
“Listen, I’ve not gone back to New York because I won’t leave when you’re coming apart at the seams. Luckily, I can run my business from almost anywhere. I’ll be here as long as you need me and I’ll always listen.” Liam’s voice softened, his eyes holding more compassion than Hammer could stand.
He was the only Dom—the only friend—Hammer trusted, not only with his club and livelihood, but with his legacy. Liam didn’t know it, but Hammer had named him the beneficiary of Shadows in the event of his death. There wasn’t another person who understood the hell he’d been through or could advise him better.
Still, he couldn’t fail to learn from Juliet. That would only dishonor her more.
“Thank you.” He forced out a wry smile. “I can always use a friend.” Then his smile fell. “But where Raine is involved, fuck off.”
As nausea turned his stomach, he pivoted away, walked back into his private office, and slammed the door.
Chapter 2
Fuck off, was it? Liam watched Hammer shut himself away and shook his head. Through the past decade, he and Hammer had shared so many good times, so much laughter, untold quantities of liquor, and of course for a time, Juliet. The man was the closest thing he had to a brother. Sure, they’d exchanged a cross word or two, but never anything like this. Clearly, his friend didn’t appreciate his interference. But he needed it.
Since Macen had moved to California eight years ago, Liam only saw the man every November seventh, but they’d talked on the phone often. Hammer had acted as if he’d grieved and moved on, and from their conversations, Liam had never imagined otherwise. So when Hammer had invited him to visit after his divorce, Liam had jumped at the chance, eager to avoid the coming winter and painful memories.
An hour after arriving at Shadows, Liam knew Hammer had hoodwinked him. Why the fuck hadn’t he realized how truly damaged Macen was? About two minutes later, he’d discovered Hammer was in love with a girl he wouldn’t let himself have.
Liam more than saw Raine’s appeal. Besides being a striking beauty, she was smart, fiery, good with people. And terribly in love with Hammer. Liam had pulled her aside once or twice to ask about his friend. She’d been skittish but had guarded Macen and his privacy fiercely. They’d suit well.
Getting the thick-headed man to see that, however, was proving difficult.
Tiptoeing around Hammer’s issues for the past two months had accomplished nothing. Talking about them this morning hadn’t helped, either. Clearly, Macen wasn’t ready or willing to exorcise his ghosts.
Running a hand through his hair, Liam paced down the hall. He missed the laughing mate he’d once known, one with life and vigor pumping in his veins. If Hammer didn’t know how to move forward, Liam would give him a serious shove—starting with his size thirteen up Hammer’s ass.
And Raine would provide the force behind that kick.
About her, Hammer was intensely protective and possessive—in a way Liam had never seen his friend behave. Macen hoarded the lass and snarled at any other Dom who dared to touch her. Liam had every intention of forcing him to choose between hiding behind his walls or watching Raine blossom under another man’s dominance.
His own.
He’d been considering this for a few days now and was convinced he stood a good chance of healing not just one heart, but two. Though he hadn’t spoken to her about anything other than Hammer, Liam sensed that Raine was broken, like the china she’d carried in her hands. And she was starved for affection. Any idiot could see that she needed caring more than discipline, but she would thrive for the man who gave her the proper measure of both. Granted, Raine might turn him down, but he could be persistent for both their sakes.
Then once she’d gained a bit of confidence and Hammer had pulled his head out of his ass, Liam planned to be on his merry way and let them live happily ever after.
But he had no illusions; the moment he took Raine under his wing, Hammer would see it as a betrayal. Their friendship could get ugly before common sense prevailed, but he’d risk it rather than standing aside and watching the man self-destruct.
As Liam crept further down the hall, he heard Raine bustling in the kitchen. Slowing his step as he reached the door, he watched her bowed head and shaking shoulders. A shuddering sob later, the girl reached for a stainless steel bowl, grabbed a few cups of sugar, some eggs, and butter.
A fond little smile curved his lips. Raine was rarely predictable—except in this. The short-fused firecracker often flew off in ways he’d never seen in a submissive, and Liam was never sure when or how she’d explode. Obviously, she’d had no formal training, and no one took her to task. But when she started thundering like a summer storm, Raine always came to the kitchen as if being one with the dough soothed her.
Seeing her tears and defeated posture, Liam itched to rattle Hammer into next week for closing himself off from the very woman who could save him.
Raine cracked an egg over the bowl and sniffled to hold in her tears. He drew in a bracing breath. What to say to the distraught girl? If he barged in, she’d bristle and give him a cold shoulder. He had to tread carefully since he didn’t know exactly what ran through her wee head. And that meant he couldn’t let her in on his plan. Raine needed to feel valued, not like she was simply bait. Nor would she truly learn to submit if she believed what lay between them was only an act for Hammer’s benefit. It had to come from her soul or Macen would see straight through it. His friend’s jealousy must spur him to act. Most of all, he didn’t want Raine hurt. If he made her his conspirator and the ploy failed, the defeat would crush her delicate heart.
“Maybe I should just quit.” She grabbed a wooden spoon and attacked the dough, adding in brown sugar. “Leave. There’s nothing holding me here, that’s for damn sure.”
His gut clenched at the finality in her miserable words. He refused to let her go without doing everything in his power to persuade her to stay. He had to act now.
Raine yanked a fresh dishtowel from the drawer, pressed it to her face, and took a few deep breaths to calm herself. A long moment later, she threw the towel down, flipped on the faucet, and shoved her hands under the stream of water. She hissed in a breath, and he frowned. How badly had she cut herself?
“Except…this is home. Where would I go?” she muttered as she cut off the water. “But how can I stay here?”
That was his cue.
Liam raised his fist and knocked on the door. Raine whipped her head around, hope brimming in her eyes. It visibly died when she realized he wasn’t Hammer.
She surprised him when she cast her gaze to the floor submissively. “Hi, Liam. Sir. Um, if you’re here because you’re worried or something, I’ll be fine. I’ll bake a batch of chocolate chip cookies and be as good as new.”
So sweet. And lying. Eventually, he’d both soothe and paddle her until she learned to be honest, but for now he simply tried to set her at ease. “While I’ve little doubt about your culinary skills, since your baked goods are most excellent, I doubt they’ll mend your woes, lass. Show me your hands.”
Obediently, Raine held them out. Liam stepped closer, taking her wrists in his grip and examining her fingers. “You’ve a few wee cuts, but nothing serious.” He gave her a smile and gently kissed her palm. “I think you’ll live.”
She stiffened. “I told you I’m fine.”
“Your hands, yes. What about your heart?” He watched her shoulders slump. “I’ve come with a proposition. Would you hear me out?”
He had to win her consent—and give her hope—or she would leave and take Hammer’s only chance of healing with her.
Raine sent him a wary glance. “I guess.”
Liam sidled closer cautiously, careful not to give her cause to bolt. “Would you be adverse to me training you?”