Needless to say, none of us felt any better after speaking to him.
I spent the rest of the night in between Lilly and Jenny’s rooms.
I proceeded to internally kick my own ass. I should’ve been there. I shouldn’t have gone to Florida. I should’ve been there for them. Jenny would’ve called me and I would’ve killed those spineless assholes. What kind of man could beat on a woman that way?
One that deserved to die, that’s what kind.
I was in Lilly’s room when the sun came up. I hadn’t slept a wink all night. Dad and I had taken turns in the girls’ rooms. Nurses had been in and out of both rooms all night.
We found out around seven in the morning that Jenny would be released from the hospital later that day. Lilly, on the other hand, still wasn’t responding. I was slowly losing grip with reality, either from lack of sleep or from the shock of seeing the woman I loved with all of my heart on a ventilator and in a coma.
“You look like you could use this.” Shannon handed me a cup of hot coffee.
“Thanks.” I grabbed the cup and slowly sipped the hot liquid.
I needed anything that would keep me awake so that I was there when she woke up, or should I say if she woke up.
Shannon sat in the chair across from me.
“I just can’t believe she’s going through this again.” She started to tear up.
Her words caught me off guard, and I thought maybe I was hearing things.
“Again?” I asked, confused.
“Yeah, again. You didn’t stick around to find out, but when Lilly was a teenager she got teased a lot because of her size and didn’t really have any friends. One day, she was approached by a bunch of the girls on the cheerleading squad and they made her think they wanted to be friends with her and asked her to meet them in the woods on the outskirts of the school property. She went, and when she got there the girls proceeded to call her names and then beat her until she was unconscious. Her mom told me more about it than Lilly did, but I know she was in the hospital for a while.”
Why hadn’t she ever told me about that? I thought she told me everything.
“What happened to the girls?” I asked with anger.
I could feel my grip on the coffee cup tightening.
“Nothing. Lilly refused to press charges or anything. Considering what they took from her, I would’ve sued the little bitches, but not our Lilly. She just switched schools and never spoke of it again. That was the last time she cried—well, until you.”
Shannon quickly got up and busied herself. The conversation had just taken an awkward turn.
I, on the other hand, suddenly felt sick to my stomach. Just knowing that I was no better than the girls from her high school crushed me. I made her cry. I was paid to date her and then I made her cry.
I stepped up to the side of Lilly’s bed and grabbed her soft hand again. I’d been doing that over and over again throughout the night. I’m not sure why I did it, but I think maybe it was because I needed to know that she was still warm—that she was still alive.
Suddenly, something that Shannon said ran through my mind once more.
Considering what they took from her….
“Shannon…,”
She stopped what she was doing and turned to me.
“Yeah?”
“You said those girls took something from her. What did you mean by that?” I asked, confused.
“They beat her and kicked her so bad in the stomach that she had internal bleeding along with a ton of other problems. Lilly can’t have kids now.”
Those last words shook me. I felt lightheaded and suddenly had to sit down. I’d taken her virginity and then said some of the cruelest things about her getting pregnant and me being stuck to her. My last words to her ran through my brain.
What if I’ve knocked you up? Do you think I want to be stuck to you like that?!
Thinking back, I remember her trying to tell me something before I stormed out of her room. Could she have been trying to tell me that it wasn’t possible—that she could never have kids?
I felt like shit—officially. In the short time that I’d known her, I’d managed to hurt her more than any of the horrible people that had entered her life before me, and I’m in love with her.
I was going to make everything better. I was going to make it all go away. I silently promised that no matter what, I was going to make it up to her.
Shannon walked out of the room as I had my mental break down. How could have I been so cold-hearted?
I stood once more and walked over to Lilly’s bed. She looked bruised and pale, but her lips were as pink as rose petals. Without a second thought, I leaned over her.