“Fine,” I answered, more than aware that he really was wearing my armor down to nonexistent. I climbed into bed and had the covers pulled over me by the time he walked in, balancing the glass of ginger ale, the paper, and a sleeve of saltines.
My stomach rumbled, and I took everything but the paper as he climbed into bed next to me, staying on top of the covers.
“I took notes for you this morning, and I figured I’d read to you so you’re caught up for tomorrow,” he said as he unrolled the paper.
“You’re going to read me my homework?” I repeated, not sure I’d heard correctly.
“I am.”
I raised both my eyebrows at him.
“What? I’m just showing off my boyfriend moves.”
“Landon, we’re not—”
“Yeah, yeah.” He waved me off. “I know. Now, don’t you want to hear all about the Korowai? They live in badass houses in the trees.”
I guess if I had to spend a day in bed with Landon, reading to me was the least harmful thing he could be doing. Turning on my side, I let myself watch him, since his eyes were glued to the printed article. His voice was low and soothing, and I couldn’t look away from the movement of his lips, the way his tongue would run across the lower one when he flipped the page.
When he finished with the Korowai tribes, he moved on to the Dani and the Lani, and I couldn’t remember a time I’d loved listening to an article more. At one point he began stroking my hair with his free hand, and I leaned into his touch, too tired to do much else.
By the time he’d finished, my nausea was gone, thanks to the magic bands he’d brought me. He stared vacantly for a moment, the paper forgotten in his lap.
“Where are you?” I asked.
His hand paused on my head. “Wondering how Gabe is.”
“Understandable.” At least Little John was with him, and his parents had flown in. It had killed Landon to leave him there, but if Pax had missed the boat, he would have been kicked out of the program. They had a one-and-done policy around here, and he’d used his get-out-of-jail-free card a couple months ago when he’d been left behind with Leah in Istanbul.
“Is it?” he asked, still staring at the wall. “Because while one part of me is praying that he’s okay, the other part is wondering when I can get back up there. Trying to work out in my mind if I have the time to acclimatize and still get it into the documentary.”
I tensed as a cold fear ran chills down my spine. But as much as Landon had changed over these last couple of years, I knew that underneath it all, he hadn’t. “You can’t stand thinking you failed.”
“I did fail, and not just me. I failed Gabe by choosing the chute with the biggest risk. He trusted me, and I got him hospitalized. I failed Nick, too. We needed that stunt for the documentary. He needs it.”
“Mother Nature took your chance,” I argued. “That fresh snow on top of the ice…it was a recipe for disaster, and you can’t feel guilty about that.”
“I should have known. I should have chosen the lesser chute—the one Alex took. I never should have pushed the summit.”
“That’s who you are,” I said. “You would have seen anything less than the summit as failure.”
“Yeah, well, my ego cost Gabe months of recovery. It almost cost us our lives.”
“No. Your way of life did that. You both chose it. You weren’t up there dragging him around—he went of his own free will. You’re not to blame.”
He shook his head slowly, letting his breath out at the same pace. “I don’t know. Maybe if I’d chosen a lesser chute. If we’d gotten there two days earlier—”
“Maybe if I hadn’t been with you,” I said softly.
He slid until he was lying across from me, his head propped on his arm to mirror mine. “What do you mean by that?”
“You haven’t once thought about it?” I asked. “You haven’t once had the curse cross your mind.”
“There’s no damn curse.”
I scoffed. “Landon, since you’ve seen me on board, you’ve run into a wall, had torrential rains almost take out the Sri Lanka stunt, nearly washed away in a mudslide, been buried alive in an avalanche after a freak snowstorm came in, and now the ocean looks like we’re in a bad remake of The Poseidon Adventure.”
“Okay?” he asked, tucking my hair behind my ear like he couldn’t not touch me.
“Seriously?” I asked, a slight twinge of sadness creeping into my voice.
“You’re not a curse. I don’t know how many times I need to tell you that. Look at everything that’s gone right since you got here. Pax nailed his triple front—”
“Because I didn’t go to the exhibition,” I argued. “I knew my reputation.”
“You were avoiding me.”
“That, too,” I admitted.
His thumb caressed my cheekbone, and the look he gave me was so tender, I couldn’t help but slip a little down the Landon-wanting slope. “Since you’ve been here, I have survived a mudslide that I might not have if you hadn’t been in the car. I spent a night with a beautiful woman in my arms in a Himalayan snowstorm, and I cheated death in an avalanche. Maybe you’re more of a lucky charm than you realize.”
He leaned forward and pressed his lips to my forehead in a sweet kiss. Cocky Landon I could fight. Player Landon I could ignore. Nova I could despise.