'I begin to understand now what heaven must be--and, oh! the

grandeur and repose of the words--"The same yesterday, to-day,

and for ever." Everlasting! "From everlasting to everlasting,

Thou art God." That sky above me looks as though it could not

change, and yet it will. I am so tired--so tired of being whirled

on through all these phases of my life, in which nothing abides

by me, no creature, no place; it is like the circle in which the

victims of earthly passion eddy continually. I am in the mood in

which women of another religion take the veil. I seek heavenly

steadfastness in earthly monotony. If I were a Roman Catholic and

could deaden my heart, stun it with some great blow, I might

become a nun. But I should pine after my kind; no, not my kind,

for love for my species could never fill my heart to the utter

exclusion of love for individuals. Perhaps it ought to be so,

perhaps not; I cannot decide to-night.' Wearily she went to bed, wearily she arose in four or five hours'

time. But with the morning came hope, and a brighter view of

things.

'After all it is right,' said she, hearing the voices of children

at play while she was dressing. 'If the world stood still, it

would retrograde and become corrupt, if that is not Irish.

Looking out of myself, and my own painful sense of change, the

progress all around me is right and necessary. I must not think

so much of how circumstances affect me myself, but how they

affect others, if I wish to have a right judgment, or a hopeful

trustful heart.' And with a smile ready in her eyes to quiver

down to her lips, she went into the parlour and greeted Mr. Bell.

'Ah, Missy! you were up late last night, and so you're late this

morning. Now I've got a little piece of news for you. What do you

think of an invitation to dinner? a morning call, literally in

the dewy morning. Why, I've had the Vicar here already, on his

way to the school. How much the desire of giving our hostess a

teetotal lecture for the benefit of the haymakers, had to do with

his earliness, I don't know; but here he was, when I came down

just before nine; and we are asked to dine there to-day.' 'But Edith expects me back--I cannot go,' said Margaret, thankful

to have so good an excuse.

'Yes! I know; so I told him. I thought you would not want to go.

Still it is open, if you would like it.' 'Oh, no!' said Margaret. 'Let us keep to our plan. Let us start

at twelve. It is very good and kind of them; but indeed I could

not go.' 'Very well. Don't fidget yourself, and I'll arrange it all.' Before they left Margaret stole round to the back of the Vicarage

garden, and gathered a little straggling piece of honeysuckle.

She would not take a flower the day before, for fear of being

observed, and her motives and feelings commented upon. But as she

returned across the common, the place was reinvested with the old

enchanting atmosphere. The common sounds of life were more

musical there than anywhere else in the whole world, the light

more golden, the life more tranquil and full of dreamy delight.

As Margaret remembered her feelings yesterday, she said to

herself: 'And I too change perpetually--now this, now that--now

disappointed and peevish because all is not exactly as I had

pictured it, and now suddenly discovering that the reality is far

more beautiful than I had imagined it. Oh, Helstone! I shall

never love any place like you.




readonlinefreebook.com Copyright 2016 - 2024