Cannon kept his arms loosely looped around her when what he really wanted to do was bring her close, as close as she could get. “It bothers you for me to hold you?”
“It does, but not for the reason you think.”
Smoothing his hand over her hair and then down her braid, he asked, “How does it bother you?”
“It makes me want you even more.”
He’d never had a problem with patience before. But now, with Yvette, figuring her out wore on him. He wanted to race to the finish line so they could move on to more physical things.
Like sex.
Opening his hand on the small of her back, he rubbed, soothing her. “But you can’t...why?”
Relenting, she got as close as he wanted her, curling into him, her head tucked under his chin against his chest. In a tormented whisper, she explained, “I can’t...finish.”
With no idea what that meant, Cannon kept quiet.
She toyed with the cotton of his T-shirt, her nervous fingers plucking at the material and then smoothing it. “Something in me is broken. When I have sex, I mean.”
It felt like a fist landed in his gut. Cannon forgot to breathe as he took apart what she said. In his mind he ran through one absurd scenario after another and still didn’t quite get it.
He tried to tip up her face but she huddled in close, hiding, a little desperate.
To reassure her, he kissed the top of her head and tamped down a surge of jealousy. “I want to understand, okay? So I’m going to ask some questions. That all right?”
She nodded.
“Don’t be embarrassed with me, okay?”
Her laugh was raw, devoid of humor. “Of course I’m embarrassed. It’s an embarrassing problem.”
He hugged her tighter, his arms around her slender body. He couldn’t think of a delicate way to put it, so he just asked. “You’re saying you can’t come?”
He heard the catch of her breath, felt the way she lowered her face more. “Yes, that’s what I saying.”
“During sex?”
A nod.
So she’d been with some selfish bozo? So what? That wasn’t him. Hell, he loved pushing ladies over the edge, feeling them clench, hearing the sounds they made, how they breathed and cried out and the way they moved.
With Yvette, yeah, he could get hard again just thinking about something that hot.
And talk about hot... He lowered his mouth to her temple. “What about by yourself?”
A long, tense pause and then... “No.”
Damn. Visualizing her trying—
Her small fist caught him in his bruised ribs. “Stop it, Cannon.”
Hiding his wince, he said, “Can’t.” Though she resisted, he framed her face, brought it up and kissed her again, a killer kiss that left them both breathless. And, damn it, she didn’t respond like a woman with issues. She gave back, took and enjoyed. Maybe not as much as he did, but given how much he wanted her, that’d be a stretch for anyone.
When he let up, he kept her there, looking at him. “You could get off before?”
Heat rushed into her face, making her green eyes more vivid. “Before I left here? Yes.”
Which meant before she was so badly abused by the scum who’d assaulted her, showing her things no young lady should ever have to see. “But since then?”
She bit her lip and shook her head.
Sorting things out in his head, he reminded her, “You like kissing me.”
Gently, her fingers touched his mouth. “Kissing isn’t a problem for me. Neither is touching. I enjoy it.” Her gaze lifted to his. “Far more so with you.”
Cannon was acutely aware of her firm bottom on his lap, how her br**sts pressed against that thin camisole, her scent and her warmth. It was the oddest thing to be having this conversation. He had to think that once they got together, it’d all be fine. He’d obliterate her concerns with red-hot pleasure.
But he wanted her to know that he took her worries seriously, that it wasn’t only sex he wanted, so he held back and listened.
“That’s what I wanted to explain to you.” Her fingertips went from his lips to his jaw, rasping over his beard shadow. “When I can’t...can’t react the way I should, I don’t want you to think that reflects on you.”
She couldn’t be serious. “So if I get mine and you don’t get yours, it wouldn’t be my fault?” By sheer force of will, he kept the disbelief from his expression. “That’s what you’re saying?”
“I’m saying I can’t seem to do...that, no matter what. So you wouldn’t be to blame. There’s just something broken in me.”
“Yvette—”
“You need to understand up front, so you won’t be disappointed.”
So she’d made up her mind that they would be together? Knowing she’d climax, because he’d ensure it, he said, “You could never disappoint me.”
“So far I’ve disappointed every guy I’ve ever been with.”
Yeah, not something he wanted to think about. “You already told me I’m different.”
Her smile was sad and fleeting. “And because of that, I’d still enjoy being close to you, being...with you. So if you want—” she stared him in the eyes “—I’m willing.”
Willing? But not anxious. She hoped to be a sacrifice.
Screw that.
“What I don’t want,” she continued, “is for you to think if you try hard enough, if you’re patient enough, it’ll make a difference. I’m sorry, but I can’t go through that again. It makes it even more frustrating.”