Ning Que lifted his head, staring at his expressionless face and said, “There’s still some pros despite of all the hard work. Those who’ve learned Olympic Mathematics would have no problem with such examination questions, to the extent that they would feel that these are foolish questions. No matter what, they would be smarter than me, even if I’ve worked hard for my whole life.”
“For no reason, I’ve come to such an awful place and lived in the General’s Mansion for several years. Just because of people like you, not only that my good days were gone, everyone that I knew was dead. My father and my mother were dead. I was only four that year, yet I’ve to start thinking on annoying questions about my life and death. How can I not be tired?”
It was the first time he held onto a chopper when he was four, and that year, he killed the first person in his life. When he saw the dark bloodwater flowing from the blades of the chopper to between his fingers as they gradually thickened and solidified, he realized that chocolate hotpot was actually a disgusting food. After the killing, he tried washing his hands several times, but the smell of the blood and the rusty smell of the chopper seemed to linger on his hands. These smells had been following him for the past twelve years.
He held his right hand under the rain and allowed the rainwater to wash his hand, yet he felt that he could never wash away the thickened blood between his fingers. With his pale-looking face, he said, “Before that, I’ve never killed anyone, but now I find it easier to kill people than doing examination questions. I am not married, yet I need to drag along a kid to travel with me thousand miles across Min Mountain. Everytime I met up with someone, I kept worrying that he had the intention to kill me and snatch away the kid to marry as wife. Do you think I am not tired?”
“You are the one that caused me to feel so tired. Hence, I need to kill all of you in order to feel more relaxed. It’s only when the blood in all of your bodies flow out can I feel my hands clean. You may take this as a cold-blooded revenge, but sometimes, I felt that it is necessary for me to clean my hands.”
Ning Que stared at the dying old man and said, “I am going to use your blood, for the washing of the blood on my hands.”
After which, he squatted down and picked up the chopper that was beside the old man. He looked at the old man and added, “As to whether you can die in peace, you can ask the people you’ve killed at the General’s Mansion when you reached the Underworld. However, I believed a useless man like you, who wasted your whole life singing one’s own praises about loyalty and thought that going through hardships is a way to pay for your evil deeds, will never be able to die in peace.”
He then whispered into the old man’s ear, before he raised his chopper and slashed it across the old man’s neck like an experienced wood cutter. The old man’s neck was chopped off. He then stood up and picked up the bamboo rain hat from the courtyard, which was already filled with rainwater. He put on the hat, pushed open the door of the courtyard and walked out.
The rain in the courtyard was still falling, and the pounding sound from the steelwork was still heard. However, there was no one outside the woodshed chopping the pile of wood, and the chopper was stuck on the old man’s neck.
The former Xuanwei Vice-General, Chen Zixian, was now the miserable blacksmith at the Eastern City of Chang’an. He stared into the sky and looked at the falling of rain from the sky. The cold expression in his eyes was suddenly darkened. Regardless, he could not shut his eyes as he allowed the rain droplets to fall into his eyes, and to wash away all the blood that remained.
…
…
Under the big black umbrella outside the Poor people lane, Sangsang silently stared into the lane. From the beginning till now, she did not change her posture. With a pair of tiny and torn shoes, she stood at the same spot waiting. The rain got heavier as it drenched her hair and her left shoulders, but she did not move an inch. Neither did she retreated herself to hide under shelter.
There was no one in the lane, but footsteps could be heard. She turned around and saw Ning Que walking out from the west side of a lane, wearing a bamboo rain hat on his head. Under the shade of the hat, his face was very pale. She hurriedly rushed over with the umbrella to shelter him and before anyone noticed, they rapidly left the area.
The second name on the oilpaper, Chen Zixian, was finally struck off today. He was one of the direct murderers for the massacre in the General’s Mansion. However, Ning Que did not appear too good as they returned to their Old Brush Pen Shop on Lin 47th Street. After wiping off the rainwater on his face, he went to bed directly without washing his feet.
For the past few days, he had been going through a lot of hardships in the old library. Regardless of his mental or physical energy, both had already reached their limits. Moreover, he needed to kill the person under the rain today, which drained his mental energy even further. Thus, when he was finally able to relax and after catching a slight cold from the spring rain, he could not help but collapsed onto the bed like a sack.
He could feel no warmth from his slightly cold body even though Sangsang had already covered him with two layers of blankets. He stared blankly at the ceiling, which was glued with many papers, as he murmured, “Do you know why I must enter the Academy? Do you know why I have risked my life just to stay in the old library? Do you know why I have tried so hard just to step into that world?”
Sangsang squatted at the door and was busily boiling ginger soup for him, hence she did not bother much about his murmurs, which occurred every one and a half year. Neither did she have the time to answer all his pointless questions.
Ning Que turned over with difficulty and watched the tiny figure that squatted at the door. He kept quiet for a long while before he smiled gently and said, “These questions are indeed foolish. Of course, you know the reasons…but others do not know. To say that my reason for all these actions is because I like it would be the weakest reason ever. Killing a censor and an old blacksmith are already very exhausting for me. If I am who I am right now, the strong me equipped with three blades… how am I capable of killing Xia Hou and the Prince?”
“Xia Hou is too strong.” He turned his head back and stared at the yellow papers that were glued to the ceiling again. He murmured, “How can I kill someone who is at the peak state of Martial Arts? If I never pursue cultivation, I can never kill him.”
“The princess had said before. If Young Master still insisted on going to the old library to torture yourself, your body will be unable to take it.” Sangsang took the bowl of boiled ginger soup and sat by the bed as she used all her might to lift Ning Que up, before she added in a soft voice, “Before you can even pursue cultivation, I believe you will be dead before Xia Hou by then.”
Ning Que took over the bowl of ginger soup and placed it by his lips weakly, before he drank it mouth by mouth. Meanwhile, he paused in the midst of drinking and replied softly, “The hope is not high, but at least it’s better than no hope. I gonna try no matter what.”
Sangsang looked at him quietly and suddenly, she asked, “Young Master, have you ever think that what if Haotian really make it impossible for you to pursue cultivation? What would you do?”
Ning Que returned the empty bowl to her as he weakly wiped the perspiration on his forehead and smiled gently. He then replied her in a very slow and calm manner, “If Haotian is really that heartless…keke. F*ck it, I must go against Heaven’s will!”
Does f*ck mean spurting nonsense? Sangsang silently wondered as she started thinking that her master’s bad habit of spurting nonsense must be back again during his rest. She showed him attitude as she laid him down before she went on with her dish washing, and she totally ignored him after that.
In the middle of the night, Ning Que started to murmur more nonsensical words. He was having fever, and his pale-looking face had unhealthy patches of red. At times, he would peer open his eyes and stared at either the yellow papers on the ceiling or Sangsang’s tiny face when he was responding to her. However, his eyes did not seem focus as he would move his dry and chipped lips to murmur some words which no one could understand.
Back seat of bicycle, registration fee, youth’s and children’s palace, chopper, chocolate, blood. Kid, blood. Min Mountain, blood. City of Wei, blood. Grassland, blood. General’s Mansion, f*cking filled with blood.
“Why should it happen? Why should it even happen?… why?”
He grabbed Sangsang’s small freezing hands and his vision landed on god-knows-where. He frowned and closed his lips gently, where his dimples revealed a sorrow-looking question mark and his face was filled with grievance. He kept repeating his words and appeared pitiful.
Sangsang changed the towel on his forehead and hugged him in her arms. She then gently patted his back and softly coaxed him, “Yes, it’s all their fault. Young Master has nothing got to do with these, nothing at all. They are the bad people.”
In the morning, the rain in Chang’an city had finally stopped. Ning Que had also recovered from his fever. He opened his eyes in a daze and he felt a painful burning sensation at his throat. Just as he was about to habitually called for Sangsang to pour him a drink, he noticed there was someone beside him. With much difficulty, he turned his head to take a glance, only to see Sangsang in her pajamas, who was half sitting by the bed. It was unsure when she had fallen deep asleep in that position.
He looked apologetic at her as he tried to push himself up and off the bed to pour himself a drink. Unfortunately, his movements had caused Sangsang to wake up from her sleep. Sangsang instantly sat up and hurriedly push him back to bed before she jumped off the bed herself.
Ning Que stared at her backview as she started to busy herself with the housework. He then opened his mouth and commented, “I am useless, aren’t I?”
Sangsang placed the cup of water by her lips to test the temperature of the water, before she responded, “Young Master, you are spurting nonsense again.”
Ning Que murmured, “I’ve read Article on the Response of the Tao for many years, yet I couldn’t understand it. I couldn’t even remember the words in a thin book like the fundamental of Ocean of Qi and Mountain of Snow. I’ve tried so hard, yet I still couldn’t pursue cultivation. Now, I am even in a state whereby I grumble and fall sick over killing a person… I am useless indeed.”
…
…
In the morning, behind the thick tall walls and within the imperial study room surrounded by unique plantations, the Emperor Li Zhongyi stood by the door and stared blankly at the raindrops that dripped from the leaves of the nearby tree. After the Empress had served him in washing up and had breakfast, for no reason, he suddenly felt an urge to visit the imperial study room.
Using the eyes’ of a commoner, someone who is the Tang Emperor and the only male leader that was trusted by the whole empire, should not have many troubles in his life. Yet at this moment when he silently stared into the garden, his face had obviously revealed a sense of frustration.
“The Headmaster of Academy went traveling around the world again, and it is unsure when he will return. As for Chao Xiaoshu, he left as well. It is unsure…whether he will return.”
Li Zhongyi felt depressed as he thought of the departure of his great master and friend from Chang’an. He looked at the plantations that were drenched from the rain, and gradually, he felt a sense of loneliness from within. It was a feeling of emptiness and depression. Perhaps this was also the reason for him to visit the imperial study, for that was the only room where no one could disturb him and a room where he could obtain real peace.
The Emperor loved calligraphy. Though at times he would invite the officers to come forward to appreciate his calligraphy and art works, but other than his favorite Empress and the Fourth princess, no one dared to come and disturb his peace. He did not even allow the eunuchs and imperial maids to tidy the room. Every writing and book was placed and arranged by himself.
With a long breath and a short sigh, he turned around. Just as he was preparing to scribble a few words on the papers to vent out his emotions, he paused and noticed a slight difference at the bookshelves diagonally from him.