The first sight of her broke through his animal state and gave him enough mind to stand up like a man.
She reminded him of Hellewise. She had that same look of tender courage, that same ageless wisdom in
her eyes. Any woman could be pretty by virtue of regular features. But Hana was beautiful because her
soul showed in her face.
Seeing her made him ashamed. Seeing her defend him, intercede on his behalf as she was so obviously
doing, made him angry.
He resisted when she sneaked him out of the cave and tried to send him back into the world. Didn't she
understand? It was best for him to die. As long as he was loose, no child, no woman, no man was safe.
Even as he stood there in the moonlight with her, he was trembling with need. The bloodlust was trying to
unbalance his mind, and it was all he could do not to grab her and bite into her soft throat.
When she offered him her throat, he almost cried. It wasn't a sacrifice to turn her down and walk away.
It was the only right thing to do, the only thing he could do.
And then the hunters came.
His mind was unbalanced by the torture. It was that simple. Not that it was an excuse, there was no
excuse for what followed. But during the endless time while Hana's clan burned and stabbed and beat
him, he lost all contact with the person he thought of as himself. He became an animal, as mindless as the
mob that was trying to kill him.
As an animal, he wanted two things: to survive and to strike out at the people who were hurting him.
And there was a way to do both.
Throats. White throats, spurting dark blood. The image came to him slowly in his haze of pain. He didn't
have to lie here and take this. He was wounded, but there was still a granite core of strength inside him.
He could fight back, and his enemies would give him life.
The next time a spear jabbed at him, he grabbed it and pulled.
It belonged to the broad-shouldered hunter, the one who'd led the others to him. Thierry grabbed the
man as he stumbled forward, wrestling him to the ground. And then, before anyone in the crowd had time
to react, he darted for the hunter's throat, for the big vein that pulsed just under the skin.
It was all over in a minute. He was drinking deep, deep, and gaining strength with every swallow. The
dam of the Three Rivers was staring at him in paralyzed shock.
It felt good.
He tossed the dead man aside and reached for another.
When several hunters came at him at once, he knocked them apart and killed them, one, two, three. He
was a very efficient killer. The blood made him supernaturally strong and fast, and the bloodlust gave him
motivation. He was like a wolf set loose in a herd of antelope-except that for a long time nobody in the
clan had the sense to run. They kept coming at him, trying to stop him, and he kept killing.
It was a slaughter. He killed them all.
He was drunk with blood and he gloried in it, in the animal simplicity of it, the power it gave him. Killing
was glory. Killing to eat, killing for revenge. Destroying the people who hurt him. He didn't ever want to
stop.
He was drinking the last drops from the veins of a young girl when he looked down and saw it was
Hana.
Her clear gray eyes were wide open, but the light in them was beginning to go dark.
He'd killed her.
In one blinding instant he wasn't an animal anymore. He was a person. And he was looking down at the
one person who had tried to help him, who had offered him her blood to keep him alive.
He raised his eyes and saw the devastation he'd left in the cave. It wasn't just this girl. He'd murdered
'most of her tribe.
That was when he knew the truth. He was damned. Worse than Maya. He'd committed a crime so
monstrous that he could never be forgiven, never be redeemed. He had joined evil in the end, just as
Maya had promised he would.
No punishment could be too great for him-but then, no punishment would make the slightest difference
anyway, not to these people or to the dying girl in his arms.
For just an instant some part of him pushed away at the feelings of guilt and horror. All right, you're evil,
it said. You might as well go ahead and be evil. Enjoy it. Have no regrets. It's your nature, now. Give in.
Then the girl in his arms stirred.
She was still conscious, although barely. Her eyes were still open. She was looking up at him....
In that moment, Thierry felt a shock that was different from anything he'd ever felt before.
In those large gray eyes, in the pupils which were hugely dilated as if to catch every last ray of light
before death, he saw... himself.
Himself and the girl, walking together, hand in hand through the ages. Joined. Shifting scenes behind
them, different places, different times. But always the two of them, tied with an invisible bond.
He recognized her. It was almost as if all those different ages had already happened, as if he were only
remembering them. But he knew they were in the future. He was looking down the corridor of time,
seeing what should have been.
She was his soulmate.
She was the one who was supposed to have walked with him through different lives, being born and
loving and dying and being born again. They'd been born for each other, to help each other grow and
blossom and discover and evolve. They should have had many lives together.
And none of it was going to happen. He was an immortal creature-how could he die and be born again?
And she was dying because of him. He'd destroyed it all, everything. He'd killed his destiny.
In the enormity of it, he sat silent and stunned. He couldn't say, "I'm sorry." He couldn't say, "What have
I done?" There was nothing that he could say that wasn't so trivial as to be demeaning to her. He simply
sat and shook, looking down into her eyes. He had an endless feeling of falling.
And then Hana spoke.
I forgive you.
It was just a whisper, but he heard it in his mind, not with his ears. And he understood it, even though
her language was different from his. Thierry reeled with the discovery that he could talk to her. Oh,
Goddess, the chance at least to tell her how he would try to atone for this by spilling out his own blood.. .
You can't forgive me. He could see that she understood his own hushed answer. He knew he didn't
deserve forgiveness. But part of him wanted her to realize that he had never meant this to happen. I
wasn't always like this. I used to be a person-
We don't have time for that, she told him. Her spirit seemed to be reaching toward him, drawing him into
her, facing him in a still and separate place where only the two of them existed. He knew then that she
had seen the same thing he had, the same corridor of time.
She was gentle, but so sad. I don't want you to die. But I want you to promise me one thing.
Anything.
I want you to promise me you 'II never kill again.
It was easy to promise. He didn't plan to live... no, she didn't want him to die. But he couldn't live
without her and he certainly couldn't live after what he'd done.
He'd worry about it later, about how to deal with the long gray stretch of future waiting for him. For
now, he said, I'll never kill again.
She gave him just the faintest of smiles.
And then she died.
The gray eyes went fixed and dark. Unseeing. Her skin was ghostly white and her body was absolutely
still. She seemed smaller all at once as her spirit left her.
Thierry cradled her, moaning like a wounded animal. He was crying. Shaking so hard he almost couldn't
keep hold of her. Helpless, pierced by love that felt like a spear, he reached out to gently push her hair
off her face. His thumb stroked her cheek- and left a trail of blood.
He stared at it in horror. The mark was like a blaze of red against her pale skin.
Even his love was deadly. His caress had branded her.
The few survivors of Hana's clan were on the move, surrounding Thierry, panting and gasping with their
spears ready. They sensed that he was vulnerable now.
And he wouldn't have lifted a hand to stop them... except that he had made a promise to Hana. She
wanted him alive to keep it.
So he left her there. He picked up her still, cooling body and carried it toward the nearest hunter. The
man stared at him in fear and disbelief, but he finally dropped his spear to take the dead girl. And then
Thierry walked out of the cave and into the merciless sunlight.
He headed for his home.
Maya caught up with him somewhere on the steppes, appearing out of the tall, ripping grass. "I told you
how you'd end up. Now forget that washed-out blonde and start enjoying life with me."
Thierry didn't even look at her. The only thing he could imagine doing with Maya was killing her... and
he couldn't do that.
"Don't walk away from me!" Maya wasn't laughing now. She was furious. Her voice followed him as he
kept going. "I chose you, Theorn! You're mine. You can't walk away from me!"
Thierry kept going, neither slower nor faster, letting her voice blend into the humming of the insects on
the grassland. But her mental voice followed him.
I'll never let you get away. You'll always be mine, now and forever.
Thierry traveled fast, and in only a few days, he reached home and the person he'd come to see.
Hellewise looked up from her drying herbs and gasped.
"I'm not going to hurt you," he said. "I need your help."
What he wanted from her was a spell to sleep. He wanted to sleep until Hana was born again.