No. This can't be happening.
Jez had never felt anything like this before, but she knew instinctively that it was dangerous. She was
being pulled into Morgead's mind. She could feel it surrounding her, enfolding her, a touch that was light
but almost irresistible, that was trying to draw out the most secret part of herself.
And the most frightening thing was that Morgead wasn't doing it
It was something outside both of them, something that was trying to mix them together like two pools of
water being stirred. Jez could feel that Morgead was as startled and astonished as she was. The only
difference was that he didn't seem to be resisting the force. He didn't seem terrified and unhappy about it,
as Jez was. He seemed... exhilarated and wondering, like somebody skydiving for the first time.
That's because he's crazy, Jez thought dizzily. He loves danger and he enjoys courting death-
I enjoy you, a voice said in her mind.
Morgead's voice. Soft as a whisper, a feather-touch that shook Jez to her soul.
It had been so long since she'd heard that voice.
And he had heard her. Sharing blood made even humans telepathic. Jez hadn't been able to talk mentally
since-
She managed to cut the thought off as panic surged through her. While one part of her mind gabbled
desperately, "He's here, he's here, he's inside, what are we going to do now?" another part threw up a
smokescreen, flooding her thoughts with visions of mist and clouds.
There was something like a swift gasp from Morgead.
Jez. don't. Don't hide from me-
You're not allowed here, she snapped back, this time directing the thought straight at him. Go away!
I can't. For just a moment his mental voice sounded confused and scared. She hadn't realized Morgead
could be confused and scared. I'm not doing this. It's just-happening.
But it shouldn't be happening, Jez thought, and she didn't know whether she was talking to him or just to
herself. She was beginning to shake. She couldn't resist the pull that was trying to bring her soul to the
surface and intermingle it with Morgead's-she couldn't. It was stronger than anything she'd ever
experienced. But she knew that if she gave in, she was dead.
Don't be afraid. Don't, Morgead said in a voice she had never heard from him before. A voice of
desperate gentleness. His mind was trying to wrap around hers protectively, like dark wings shielding her,
touching her softly.
Jez felt her insides turn to water.
No. No...
Yes, Morgead's voice whispered.
She had to stop this-now. She had to break the contact. But although Jez could still feel her physical
body, she seemed powerless to control it. She could sense Morgead's arms supporting her and his lips
on her throat and she knew that he was still drinking. But she couldn't so much as move a finger to push
him away. The muscles that she'd trained so ruthlessly to obey her under any circumstances were
betraying her now.
She had to try another way.
This shouldn't be happening, she told Morgead, putting all the energy of her terror behind the thought.
I know. But that's because you're fighting it. We should be somewhere else by now.
Jez was exasperated. Where else?
I don't know, he said, and she could feel a tinge of sadness in his thought. Some place-deeper. Where
we'd really be together. But you won't open your mind....
Morgead, what are you talking about? What do you think is going on?
He seemed genuinely surprised. Don't you know? It's the soulmate principle.
Jez felt the floor drop away beneath her.
No. That's not possible. That can't be. She wasn't talking to Morgead anymore; she was desperately
trying to convince herself. I'm not soulmates with Morgead. I can't be. We hate each other ... he hates
me ... all we ever do is fight. . .
He's impossible and dangerous and hotheaded and stubborn... he's crazy... he's angry and hostile . .
. he's frustrating and infuriating and he loves to make me miserable . ..
And I don't even believe in soulmates. And even if I did, I wouldn't believe it could happen like this, just
bang, out of the blue, like getting hit by a train when you're not looking, without any warning or even any
attraction to the person beforehand....
But the very hysteria of her own thoughts was a bad sign. Anything that could tear away her self-control
like this was powerful almost beyond imagination. And she could still feel it pulling at her, trying to strip
off the layers of cloud she was hiding behind. It wanted Morgead to see her as she truly was.
And it was trying to show her Morgead. Flashes of his Me, of himself. Glimpses that hit her and seemed
to cut cleanly through her, leaving her gasping with their intensity.
A little boy with a mop of tousled dark hair and eyes like emerald, watching his mother walk out the
door with some man-again. Going to play alone in the darkness, amusing himself. And then meeting a
little redheaded girl, a girl with silvery-blue eyes and a flashing smile. And not being alone anymore. And
walking on fences with her in the cool night air, chasing small animals, falling and giggling....
A slightly older boy with longer hair that fell around his face, uncared-for. Watching his mother walk out
one last time, never to come back. Hunting for food, sleeping in an empty house that got messier and
messier. Learning to care for himself. Training himself. Getting harder, in mind and body, seeing a sullen
expression when he looked in the mirror...
A boy even older watching humans, who were weak and silly and short-lived, but who had all the things
he didn't have. Family, security, food every night. Watching the Night People, the elders, who felt no
responsibility to help an abandoned vampire child....
I never knew, Jez thought. She still felt dizzy, as if she couldn't get enough air. The images were dazzling
in their clarity and they tore at her heart.
A boy who started a gang to create a family, and who went first to the little girl with red hair. The two of
them grinning wickedly, running wild in the streets, finding others. Collecting kids the adults couldn't
control or wouldn't miss. Walking around the worst parts of town, unafraid-because they had one
another now.
The images were coming faster, and Jez could hardly keep up with them.
Dashing through the metal scrap yard... with Jez ... Hiding under a fish-smelling wharf... from Jez...
His first big kill, a stag in the hills of San Rafael.. . and Jez there to share the hot blood that warmed and
intoxicated and brought life all at once. Fear and happiness and anger and arguments, hurt and sadness
and exasperation-but always with Jez interwoven into the fabric. She was always there in his memories,
fire-colored hair streaming behind her, heavy-lashed eyes snapping with challenge and excitement. She
was everything bright and eager and brave and honest. She was haloed with flame.
I didn't know... how could I know? How could I realize I meant so much to him... ?
And who would have thought it would mean so much to her when she found out? She was stunned,
overcome-but something inside her was singing, too.
She was happy about it. She could feel something bubbling up that she hadn't even realized was there; a
wild and heady delight that seemed to shoot out to the palms of her hands and the soles of her feet.
Morgead, she whispered with her mind.
She could sense him, but for once he didn't answer. She felt his sudden fear, his own desire to run and
hide. He hadn't meant to show her these things. They were being forced out of him by the same power
that was dragging at Jez.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to look, she thought to him. I'll go away....
No. Suddenly he wasn't hiding anymore. No, I don't want you to go. I want you to stay.
Jez felt herself flow toward him, helplessly. The truth was that she didn't know if she could turn away
even if he'd wanted her to. She could feel his mind touching hers-she could taste the very essence of his
soul. And it made her tremble.
This was like nothing she'd ever felt before. It was so strange... but so wonderful. A pleasure that she
couldn't have dreamed of. To be this close, and to be getting closer, like fire and bright darkness merging
... To feel her mind opening to him...
And then the distant echo of fear, like an animal screaming a warning.
Are you insane? This is Morgead. Let him see your soul... pry open your innermost secrets... and
you won't live long enough to regret it. He'll tear your throat out the instant he finds out...