He took another step into the room. “You were mine, Leah. I loved you. I was going to marry you. Your problems were my problems. We would have worked things out.”
“No, I had to leave. I felt dirty. Used. I felt unworthy. Don’t you understand how difficult it is for me now, knowing that you know?”
“You should have told me. It would have changed nothing.”
Leah turned away from him, trying to block whatever emotional reactions she was having to his words. Why couldn’t he understand that she couldn’t tell him? At the time she had felt battered, bruised and confused.
“Leah, please don’t shut me out. I love you. I always have. I still do.”
She turned back around, her eyes filled to capacity with tears. His admission of love was the last thing she wanted to hear, the last thing she wanted to know. Knowing he loved her and that he’d built this house for her was too much. “No, we can’t go there, Reese. We can’t go back. Too much has happened. After I left and went to California, I had a hard time dealing with things. If a man looked at me, I panicked. Finally, I knew I needed help and sought out professional assistance. With the aid of counselors and a very special support group, I began to see that I wasn’t alone. There were other women who’d been violated like I had. And then there was Grace, the older woman who was kind enough to give me a place to stay in her home. She became the mother I had lost, the grandmother I’d never had and the friend that I needed. I’ve come a long way but I still have a long way to go.”
“And we’ll go there together. I love you too much to let you leave me a second time.”
The sincerity in his words touched her and nervously she placed her lower lip between her teeth and met his gaze. He was being honest with her, leaving her no choice but to be completely honest with him, as well. “And I love you, too, Reese. Too much for you to get involved and waste your time with me. The love I knew you had for me is what helped me keep my sanity over the years. But each time I came home I knew that love was turning to hate and I had to learn how to get stronger without your love as a crutch because it wasn’t there anymore and I couldn’t pretend that it was.”
She wiped the tears from her eyes before continuing. “I still haven’t gotten over things to the point where I trust men. In fact, the thought of one ever touching me makes me ill. Even you. Knowing that, how can I even consider us picking up where we left off?”
“Like I said, we’ll work through—”
“No, there’s nothing to work through. In a few weeks I’m returning to California. I’m going to use the money I’m getting from Jocelyn to open a small restaurant there. My life, the one I do have, is in California. There’s nothing for me here.”
“I’m here, Leah,” he said quietly. “The man who loves you.”
She shook her head. “No, I can’t take what you’re offering. I can’t and I won’t.”
Not giving him a chance to say anything else, she walked around him and out of the room.
Jocelyn replaced her cell phone in her purse and glanced over at Bas when he brought the car to a stop at the traffic light. “That was Reese. Things didn’t go with Leah the way he’d hoped, but he’s determined to help her through this.”
Bas nodded. “He loves her very much.”
“Always has. At one time I actually envied what they shared, it was so special. And I’ve always known that if there was one person who could get Leah to change her mind about leaving Newton Grove it was going to be Reese, just like I truly believe he’s the one person who can heal her hurt.”
“I’m going to have to agree with you on that.”
Jocelyn had been waiting to hear from Reese, and with the phone call from him out of the way, she took the time to study her surroundings out the car’s window. Lifting a brow, she glanced back over at Bas. “I thought we were headed back to town for lunch. Where are we going?”
He smiled although he couldn’t take his eyes off the road to look over at her. “My place. I’m treating you to lunch.”
Jocelyn blinked. “Your place? I thought you were staying at Sadie’s Bed and Breakfast.”