Her words, the tears shining in her eyes, filled Logan with a sadness he had not known in centuries. He yearned to sweep her into his arms and comfort her, to take her to his bed and make her forget her heartache, if only for an hour or so. But he couldn’t suggest it now, not after refusing her when she’d said she loved him. Damn his honor! What had he been thinking?
“Logan, please take me home.”
With a nod, he wrapped his arms tightly around her and willed them to his house. He would come back later, after she was asleep, and pick up his car.
Materializing inside the living room, Logan continued to hold her, his brow resting lightly on the top of her head. Her warmth engulfed him. The flowery scent of her skin tickled his nostrils with every breath. The way her body molded to his reminded him of all the lusty nights they had shared. The rich coppery scent of her blood and the steady beat of her heart only served to arouse him more. Hard with wanting her, he cursed himself again for having refused her.
She stirred in his arms and he drew back a little so he could see her face.
“What can I do?” he asked, thinking he would do anything she requested to erase the sorrow from her eyes.
“I want you to turn me.”
“What?”
“I’ve been giving it a lot of thought the last few days. I think it’s the only way I’ll ever find him.”
“Forget it! You know what the doctor said. It could kill you.”
“He doesn’t know that for a fact. No one does. Anyway, it’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
“Well, I’m not.” Muttering an oath, Logan paced away from her to stare out into the night.
“Please, Logan.”
He whirled around to face her, his eyes blazing. “Dammit, I said no!”
She took a step toward him. “Listen to me. There’s a blood link between a mother and her child. I can’t sense it now, but if I was a vampire, I’d be able to follow it. I know I would.”
“DeLongpre and the Cordova family haven’t been able to penetrate whatever spell is shielding Ramsden. What makes you think you can do any better?”
“I don’t know,” she said in a voice filled with anguish. “Maybe I won’t be able to. Maybe I’ll die in the attempt. But I have to try.”
Logan shook his head. “No. There’s got to be another way.” As much as he longed for her to be Nosferatu once again, the risk involved was too great.
“The longer it takes us to find him, the less of a chance we have. Surely you can see that.”
“It’s too dangerous.”
She looked up at him, her green eyes narrowed, her hands fisted at her sides. “If you won’t bring me across, then I’ll find someone who will!”
“Yeah, who?”
“I’ll ask Roshan or one of the Cordova men.”
“And if they refuse?”
“Then I’ll find someone else!” Closing the distance between them, she placed her hand on his arm. “I’d rather it was you.”
She wasn’t bluffing and he knew it, just as he knew that he would never let anyone else turn her. He couldn’t abide the thought of another vampire being her master.
With a sigh of resignation, he said, “Let me call McDonald first and see if she’s heard anything.”
“And if she hasn’t, you’ll bring me across. Now, tonight. You promise?”
With a nod, he reached for his cell phone.
Mara listened intently as Logan talked to Lou. There had been a time when she would have been able to hear both sides of the conversation. Hopefully, that time would come again.
“Right,” Logan said, and ended the call.
“What?” Mara asked. “What did she say?”
“Same as always. She says she’s checked with every hunter and undercover agent she knows, and none of them have any idea where Ramsden might be. They’ve checked all his known hangouts, his last known residence.” Logan shrugged. “His house is closed up tight, his wife’s not home.”
“Then it’s up to us,” Mara said quietly. “It’s up to me.”
“Give it one more day,” Logan said.
“No, I’ve already waited too long.”
“You’ve been planning to do this all day, haven’t you?” he asked, and then he grunted softly. “I guess that explains all that chocolate for dessert.”
She didn’t deny it, only continued to look up at him, a silent plea in her eyes.
He tried to think of some way to dissuade her, to make her wait, but he drew a blank. Mortal or vampire, once she took hold of an idea, there was no changing her mind. He had never been able to deny her anything, but this . . . He raked a hand through his hair. “Don’t let me take too much.”
She nodded as he took her hand and led her over to the sofa. Sitting, he drew her down beside him.
“Are you sure you want to do this? I’d say there was no going back once it’s done, but with you . . .” He grinned wryly. “With you, it might not be true.”
“Just do it.” A sudden attack of nerves made her voice sharp. What if Ramsden was right? What if attempting to become a vampire again proved fatal? If she died, who would find Derek? Who would look after him?
“You’re having second thoughts, aren’t you?”
“Of course not.” She told herself it was what she wanted, that it was the only way to find Derek and Kyle. She reminded herself that she hated being human, despised being weak and vulnerable. And yet she knew, deep in her heart, that once it was done, her son would be lost to her in so many ways. She could do what Roshan and Brenna had done. They had lied to Cara, hired a nanny to look after her during the day, let Cara grow up believing that her parents’ aversion to the sun was due to some rare illness. Did she want to do the same? Did she want to let Derek grow up believing that his mother was something she wasn’t? Even as the thought crossed her mind, she knew she couldn’t live a lie like that. Her son, the only child she would ever have, deserved a normal life, and Kyle could give it to him.
“You don’t have to do this,” Logan said quietly. “Not right now.”
“Logan, please, just get it over with.”
His jaw tightened as he brushed her hair away from her slender neck. There was no fear in her eyes, yet her heart beat erratically as she gazed up at him. He had never worked the Dark Trick on anyone. He had been tempted on more than one occasion. He had been understandably curious to see what it would be like to sire a fledgling of his own, but having been turned against his will, he had never been able to bring himself to do it to anyone else. Not that he regretted being a vampire. He enjoyed the benefits, the supernatural powers, his long existence. But it was a life against nature, not for the faint of heart. It took a good deal of courage and stamina to exist for a thousand years or more. Many vampires grew weary of their existence. After a century or two, they lost the will to go on and walked out into the sunlight. Others went mad and had to be destroyed. Some, like Logan, reinvented themselves every fifty years or so.