I fluff my pillow and turn it over so the colder side is against my cheek. I face the wall and keep my back to her to make sure she doesn’t feel uncomfortable having to share a bed with me.
“Silas?” she whispers.
I like her voice. It’s comforting yet electric. “Yeah?”
I can feel her roll over to face me, but my back is still to her. “I don’t know why, but I feel like we’ll both sleep better if you have your arms around me. Not touching you seems more awkward than touching you.”
Even though it’s dark in the room, I try to fight my smile. I immediately roll over, and she scoots back against my chest. I wrap my arm around her and pull her closer—her body curving perfectly into mine—her feet locking around my feet.
This.
This must have been why I felt an unwavering need to find her. Because until this very second, I didn’t know Charlie wasn’t the only one missing. When she disappeared, part of me must have disappeared right along with her. Because this is the first time I feel like me—like Silas Nash—since the second I woke up yesterday.
She finds my hand in the dark and slides her fingers through mine. “Are you scared, Silas?”
I sigh, hating that she’s falling asleep thinking about it. “I’m worried,” I tell her. “I don’t want it to happen again. But I’m not scared, because this time I know where you are.”
If it were possible to hear a smile, hers would be a love song.
“Goodnight, Silas,” she says quietly.
Her shoulders rise and fall when she lets out a deep sigh. Her breathing begins to taper off after only a few minutes, and I know she’s asleep.
Before I close my eyes, she readjusts her position slightly and I catch a glimpse of her tattoo. The silhouette of trees is peeking out of the top of the back of her shirt.
I wish there was a letter that would have described the night we got these tattoos. I would give anything to have that memory back—to see what it was like between us when we loved each other enough to believe it was forever.
Maybe I’ll dream about that night if I fall asleep thinking about it.
I close my eyes, knowing this is exactly how it’s supposed to be.
Charlie and Silas.
Together.
I don’t know why we ever started drifting apart, but I’m certain of one thing: I’ll never allow it to happen again.
I press a soft kiss into her hair. Something I’ve probably done a million times, but the drunken, one-winged moths fluttering around in my stomach make it feel like the very first time.
“Goodnight, Charlie baby.”
Chapter 18: Charlie
I wake up to sunlight.
It’s streaming through the window and warming my face. I roll over to look for Silas, but his pillow is empty.
For a moment, I’m afraid that he’s left me, or that someone has taken him. But then I hear the clink of a cup and the sound of him moving. I squeeze my eyes shut gratefully. I can smell food. I roll over.
“Breakfast,” he says. I crawl out of bed feeling self-conscious about the way I must look. I comb my fingers through my hair and wipe the sleep from my eyes. Silas is sitting at the desk, sipping on coffee and writing something down on paper.
I pull up a chair and seat myself across from him and grab a croissant, tucking my hair behind my ears. I don’t want to eat, but I do anyway. He wants us to be well rested and fed before the clock strikes 11:00 am. But my stomach is full of nerves, thinking about how it felt waking up with no memory two days ago. I don’t want that to happen again. I didn’t like it then, and I won’t like it this time.
Every few seconds, he glances up at me and our eyes lock before he goes back to work. He looks nervous too.
After the croissant, I eat bacon, then the eggs, then a bagel. I finish off Silas’s coffee, drink my orange juice, and push my chair back from the table. He smiles and taps the side of his mouth. I reach up and dust the crumbs off my face, feeling warmth rise to my cheeks. He’s not laughing at me though. I know that.
He hands me a toothbrush still in its package and follows me to the bathroom. We brush our teeth together, eyeing each other in the mirror. His hair is standing on end, and mine is tangled. It’s sort of comical. I can’t believe I’m in the same room as the boy from my dreams. It feels surreal.
I look at the clock as we leave the bathroom. We have ten minutes to go. Silas has his notes ready, as do I. We lay them out on the bed so it’s all circling us. Everything we know is here. This time is going to be different. We’re together. We have Landon. We’re going to figure this thing out.
We sit, facing each other on the bed, our knees touching. From where I sit, I can see the red letters of the alarm clock hit 10:59.
One minute. My heart is racing.
I’m so afraid.
I begin the countdown in my head. 59…58…57…56…
I count down to thirty, and Silas suddenly leans forward. His hands cup my face. I can smell him; feel his breath on my lips.
I lose the time. I have no idea what second I’m supposed to be on.
“Never never,” he whispers. His warmth, his lips, his hands.
He presses his mouth to mine and kisses me deeply and I…