He nodded. “Where did the name Chase come from?”
She grinned. “Bourne gave it to me. I was leading London on a merry chase, he used to say. It stuck.
“We opened the casino with my brother’s help and his connections. Within months, people were clamoring for memberships. And for the first few years, I did not care what they thought of Georgiana. I barely even thought of Georgiana. I was Chase, and I was Anna, and I was free… and it was glorious.” She looked away. “Until it wasn’t.”
“Until Caroline was old enough to notice their censure.”
“Until Caroline was old enough to become the object of it.”
“And then it became about her.”
She met his gaze, saw the understanding in it. He had faced a similar battle, knowing that he must protect his sister from the world. “I didn’t steal a horse, Duncan. I stole a world.”
“And we believed you,” he said.
“It wasn’t as difficult as it would seem,” she said. “People believe what they are told, mostly. Once we decided that Chase would never be seen, it was easy to convince the world that he was more powerful than any of them. His mystery became his power. My power.”
“You’re wrong.” He was close to her, close enough to touch, but she resisted the urge as he continued, “I have known you as Georgiana and as Anna. And I have felt the full heat of your power. I have railed at it and basked in its glow. And there is nothing about that power that is Chase.” His hand came up, cupped the nape of her neck, and she caught her breath at the touch. “It is all yours.” She looked up at him as he added, “And she will know it.”
Tears came at the words, unbidden and unwelcome. How did he know that was her worry? In the dark of night? How did he know that she was terrified that Caroline would one day look at her and hate her for the choices she’d made?
She looked away, trying to hide from him.
“Don’t,” he said, forcing her to return her gaze to his. “Don’t hide from me. You pushed me away at every turn. You used Chase as a shield.”
“No —” she began, but he cut her off, anger and sorrow in his eyes.
“Yes. You were afraid of me. But why? Were you afraid of what I might do? Of what I might tell the world? Did you actually think I might betray you?”
Her brow furrowed. “I did not know… the only other man I had ever given myself to…”
He went on. “You weren’t afraid of me. And you weren’t afraid of repercussions from Chase… we know that now,” he offered the words, with dry humor. “You were afraid of what I make you feel.”
Truth.
She met his gaze. “Of course I was.” Her honesty took them both by surprise, but it was time to be honest, was it not? “I was on my own. I had to fight for myself. For Caroline.” She paused. “Am on my own. Must fight for her. I must use every weapon in my arsenal to secure her future. That meant Chase… which was easy. And you…” She hesitated. “But that is the bit that became more difficult.”
“You disinvited me to the club,” he said.
“I apologize. You are welcome to be a member again.” For as long as the club exists.
“I don’t care about the damn club. I care about you sending me away.”
“I couldn’t have you close,” she said, setting the truth free. “I couldn’t have you near without wishing you near forever.”
That word again, insidious and tempting.
He swore, and pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her like steel, making her wish that this was all there was. That there was no Chase, no Anna, no Tremley beating down the door with his deadlines and his secrets. No Fallen Angel.
Because she did not wish to use him. Not anymore. She did not wish for him to be anywhere near the falseness that was her future. Did not wish for him to have any more reasons to think ill of her.
He misunderstood. “Christ… Georgiana,” he spoke to the top of her head, his arms around her like steel, strong and welcome. “The paper. The reward.”
She turned her face into his chest, reveling in the scent of him. “Chase is done for.”
He had been since the moment Tremley had made his offer – her secrets for Duncan’s. It was an offer she would never refuse. A trade she would gladly make. Chase and Anna would disappear from the world, and they would be replaced by Duncan’s safety.
If only it would be enough.
He swore softly. “I did it. I ruined him.” He paused. “You. I ruined all you worked for.”
She would have ruined it herself – still planned to – but that was the final secret she could not reveal to him. Instead, she smiled. “He had to be done, eventually. I could not continue here and preach propriety for Caroline. I thought I could… but now, I see the ridiculousness in that plan.”
“I will find a way to keep you safe. To keep Chase safe. I’ll rescind the reward.”
She put her hands to his lips, silencing him, running her fingers over his cheekbones, down the long line of his jaw. “All this time… from the beginning, you have told me to trust you.”
“I have,” he said. “And now, you must believe that I will find a way —”
She stopped him. “It’s your turn, Duncan. It’s time for you to trust me.”
His gaze narrowed. “What does that mean?”
She leaned up to kiss him. “Exactly what I say.”
“I do trust you.” He took the kiss, returned it. “What are you planning?”