But he must not frighten her, he must not drive her away from him by
revealing the intensity of his passion.
So his voice was calm, and so low that it was little more than a
whisper, as he said: "I have come in search of you; I have something to say that I hope, I
pray, you will hear. Won't you sit down again?" and he motioned to the
place where she had been seated.
But Nell shook her head and remained standing, her hands clasped loosely
before her, her eyes downcast.
"What is it, Lord Angleford?" she said, in a voice as low as his. "I--I
want to go back to the lodge."
"Wait a few minutes," he said imploringly. "I will not keep you long. I
have just left the lodge. He--Mr. Falconer--is all right; he will not
mind--will not miss you for a few minutes. And I must speak to you. All
my happiness, my future, depends on it--upon you!"
"Ah, let me go!" she said, almost inaudibly; for at every word he spoke
her heart went out to him, and she was tempted to forget that he was no
longer her lover, but the betrothed of Lady Lucille. Whatever he said,
she must not forget that!
"No; it is I who will go, when I have spoken, and if you tell me," he
said gravely. "When you sent me away last time I went--I obeyed you. I
promise to do so now if you send me away again. Nell--ah! I must call
you so. It is the name I think of you by, the name that is engraven on
my heart! Nell, I want to ask you if there is no hope of my recovering
my lost happiness. Do you remember when I told you that I loved you,
there at Shorne Mills? I told you I was not worthy of you. Even then I
was deceiving you."
She drew nearer to the tree, and put her hand against it for support.
"I was masquerading as Drake Vernon. I concealed my real name and rank;
but I had no base motive in doing so. I was sick of the world, and weary
of it and myself, and I longed to escape the maddening notoriety which
harassed me. And then, when I thought--ah, no! I won't say thought, for;
I know that then, then, Nell, you loved me!"
Her lips quivered, but she kept the tears back bravely.
"Then it seemed so precious a thing to know that you should have loved
me for myself alone, that you were not going to marry me for my rank and
position, as many another girl would have done, that I was tempted to
play the farce to the end. It was folly, but the gods punish folly more
surely and quickly than they punish crime. The night that you
discovered I had deceived you, I had resolved to tell you the truth and
beg your forgiveness. But it was too late. Most of our good resolutions
come too late, Nell. You had learned that I had deceived you; you had
learned that I was not worthy to win and hold the love of a pure and
innocent girl, and you sent me away."