"No, no! You're wrong, wrong!" said Nell earnestly.
Lady Wolfer seemed scarcely to have heard her.
"I ought to have known that it would not help me long. It has come to an
end. I am going to end it. I cannot bear this life any longer--I cannot,
I cannot! I will not! I have only one life--that I know of----"
"Oh, hush, hush!" Nell implored. "You are all wrong! I know it, I am
sure of it! You think he does not care for you. He does, he does! If you
had seen his face to-night--had heard his voice!"
Lady Wolfer looked at her with a half-startled glance; then she shook
her head and smiled bitterly.
"No, I am not wrong," she said. "I know what love is--at last! It
beckons me--I have resisted--God knows I have struggled with and fought
against it--have kept it from me with both hands--but my strength has
failed me at last, and----"
Nell caught her arm and clung to it.
"Oh, what do you mean?" she asked, in vague terror.
Lady Wolfer started, and slowly unclasped Nell's hands.
"I have said too much," she said, panting and moistening her parched
lips. "I did not mean to tell you--no, I will not say another word. I
don't know why I am so unnerved, why I take it so much to heart I
think--Nell, I am fond of you; you know it?"
Nell made a gesture of assent, and touched the countess' clasped hands
lovingly, tenderly.
"I--I think it is your presence here that--that has made me
hesitate--has made me realize the gravity of what I am going to do. I--I
never look at you, hear you speak, but I am reminded that I was once,
and not so long ago, as innocent as you. But I can hesitate no longer. I
have to decide, and I have decided!"
She rose and stood with her hands before her face for the moment; then
she let them fall with a sigh, and forced a smile.
"Go now, dear!" she said. "I--I wish I had not spoken so freely; but
that tender, loving heart of yours is hard to resist."
"What is it you have decided to do?" Nell asked, scarcely above her
breath.
A deep red rose slowly to the countess' face, then slowly faded, leaving
it pale and wan, and set with determination.
"I cannot tell you, Nell," she said. "You--you will know soon enough.
And when you know, I want you--I want you to think not too badly of me,
to remember how much I have suffered, how hard and cruel my life has
been--how I have hungered and thirsted for one word, one look of love;
that I have struggled and striven against my fate, and have yielded only
when I could endure no longer. Oh, go now, dear!"