Chapter 77: You Must Fight On!
Translator: imperfectluck Editor: vb24
Load.
After carving that horrifying scene deep into his mind, Seiji instantly chose to load.
The world around him turned dark before lighting up again.
In this point in time, he was talking to Chiaki, and the three conversation options appeared in front of him again.
He didn’t expect that he would have to make use of this save file so quickly.
Seiji forced himself to hide the grimness he felt from Chiaki, and answered exactly the same way as last time.
Then he returned to class just like last time.
Seiji instantly took out his cell phone and called Hoshi Amami.
This time, the call connected.
"Senpai…"
"Amami… no, Hoshi, I heard you caught a cold—how are you feeling?" Seiji asked in a calm voice, although he was clenching his fists.
There was a long period of silence.
"I… I’m fine, thanks for caring about me, Senpai." A soft voice finally responded.
‘Caring about him…?’ Seiji felt a twinge of guilt.
"You don’t sound like you’re doing fine."
"Senpai…"
"Did something happen after that incident with your sisters?"
Silence fell for several moments again.
"Nothing… Nothing happened."
‘Nothing happened? Then why would you commit suicide!?’ Seiji frowned deeply.
"Senpai… it’s almost time for class to begin." Hoshi sounded like he wanted to hang up the call.
"Cut class."
"What?"
"I don’t care what class you have next, skip it!" Seiji started walking out of his class as he said this.
"S… skip class?" Hoshi was clearly shocked.
"That’s right. Afterwards, go to the roof of the middle school building and wait for me there."
All the school buildings in Genhana’s middle and high school sections had roofs that were unlocked at all times, but they were fenced off with 10-meter-tall steel mesh wire fences. The only opening in the fences were the tiny holes between the links. So if Hoshi wanted to jump off from the building and commit suicide, the roof was actually the most difficult place to do it from!
"Wait for you? Senpai, what…"
"I’m coming over there right now!" Seiji said in a forceful tone. "Don’t hang up; keep your cell phone on this call until I see you."
Hoshi Amami’s body began trembling as he listened to the forceful voice coming from his cell phone.
Senpai… was about to come over and see him!?
‘All Senpai did was ask me a few questions over the phone, and I said I was fine already, but he…’
Hoshi felt a warm feeling in his heart from his Senpai’s obvious concern.
He couldn’t help but begin to move.
He left his seat, walked out of class, and ignored everything.
He went to the roof as Senpai instructed him to and waited.
…
Had the sky always been so wide?
After reaching the roof, Hoshi looked past the tall fence at the sky and slowly walked towards the fence.
Today was a wonderful day with no clouds in sight. The pure blue sky was beautiful to behold.
Hoshi acted as though it was the first time he’d ever seen this beautiful scene as he looked at it dazedly. As he gaze upwards, the dark feelings in his heart began to dissipate.
Just earlier, he had lied to Harano-senpai.
He wasn’t feeling fine; something definitely happened.
What he had experienced… was a nightmare.
He didn’t know what to do, and the dark feelings in his heart had magnified to the extent where he felt like he was about to be swallowed.
He was already at the point where he wanted to die and end it all.
Compared to living, death seemed so relaxing…
"Hoshi!"
A forceful voice rang out from behind him.
Hoshi trembled upon hearing the voice and slowly turned around.
He saw Seiji putting away his cell phone as he walked towards Hoshi.
Something shone in the eyes of the tall and handsome figure standing before him as he looked directly at Hoshi.
Those eyes seemed like they could pierce through the darkness.
‘Ahh—Senpai, Seigo Harano… Senpai.’
The moment Hoshi Amami saw his Senpai, he finally realized that he had actually wanted to see him.
But… even if he met his Senpai again, what could Senpai possibly do?
Seiji looked towards Hoshi.
He furrowed his brows as he recalled the scene he had just witnessed.
"It’s been a week since we last saw each other, junior of mine."
"Yes… Senpai."
The two of them remained silent for a moment.
"This is my first time ever going up to the school roof." Seiji suddenly broke the silence.
"Eh?"
"I was really looking forward to receiving a girl’s love letter which invited me to the school roof where she would confess to me… Such a classic scene." Seiji spoke slowly as he walked towards Hoshi. "But now, the first person waiting for me on a school roof is a boy instead."
"My hopes have been ruined! How will you make this up to me!?"
Senpai seemed to be complaining as he glared at Hoshi.
Hoshi was too stunned to say anything.
Silence reigned over them for a short period of time.
"Man… you don’t even know how to make a comeback?" Seiji sighed. "You need to learn more, junior of mine!"
"Oh… oh." Hoshi was still in a daze.
Seiji looked at him.
"You didn’t really have a cold, right? Why didn’t you come to work?"
"Er…" Hoshi averted his gaze.
"What happened in the past week?"
Hoshi remained silent with his head lowered. A dark shadow seemed to appear on his face.
Seiji slowly raised his head forty-five degrees upwards to look at the sky after seeing the pretty boy in front of him, who seemed to stand in the darkness instead of the sunshine.
"Last week, you were much cooler. Even though you seemed a bit feminine, and not much like a boy, at least you knew that you wanted to change yourself. At that time… you were definitely a man."
"Senpai…" Hoshi slowly raised his head.
"But what exactly is the current you?" Seiji didn’t look at him, and instead continued looking up at the sky. "You’re depressed and downcast. Your entire person has become dark. Not only are you no longer a man, you no longer even seem like a cute girl. You’re not a boy, or a girl… you’re only a loser dog."
Feeling ashamed, Hoshi lowered his head again.
"Hey, Hoshi Amami. I personally believe that we need to fight to get what we want in life. Things we don’t like, things that are unreasonable or unacceptable… Things we want to avoid but still meet up with; anything bad that’s difficult to tolerate is something we must fight. And when I say fight, I don’t mean just using physical violence.
"For example, a child that’s being ignored will desperately misbehave in order to attract attention. A female prisoner that’s been declared guilty when innocent will scream and cry that she wants to live. There are many methods of fighting, but what’s most important is possessing the willpower to never give up. As long as you still have the will to resist, then it doesn’t matter how ugly your struggle is… It’s a fight!"
Seiji finally shifted his gaze back towards Hoshi.
"Hoshi, perhaps you’ve fought already, but have you truly fought your utmost? Why have you given up your resistance? Continue your struggle! Who cares if you fall into a swamp and get covered in mud, or if you look terrible and ugly; you can still lift up your head and shout, can’t you!?"
"Senpai…" Tears began dripping down Hoshi’s downturned face.
"If you don’t even have the energy to struggle anymore, then why don’t you use the final remnants of your energy to think about what other methods you still have left other than struggling, no matter how unseemly they are!?" Seiji stared at Hoshi. "I’m talking about asking for help!"
"Even if you can’t struggle anymore, you can’t even bring yourself to ask for help? Is your spirit so weak that you don’t even have a shred of resistance anymore!?"
"Answer me, Hoshi Amami!"
"Senpai… Senpai… I…"
Hoshi was no longer able to stop his tears from flowing out. He began choking up, and his runny nose soon ensured that his face was coated with snot. His previously beautiful face was nowhere to be seen.
Seiji took a deep look at Hoshi.
"I’m standing right here, junior of mine. As your Senpai, I have the responsibility to assist you. But nobody can help someone who’s already given up on himself. I don’t have that power."
"So… ask me for help, you bastard! Even if you don’t even have a shred of resistance left in you, find it somewhere deep within your soul!! It doesn’t matter how pathetic you seem, how ugly you seem, or how underhanded it is… Don’t accept defeat, and continue fighting!!!"
"Wah… Wahhhhh!"
Hoshi Amami began crying out loudly this time as his body collapsed, devoid of energy.
He crouched on the roof’s floor with his body curled into a ball as he cried. He seemed so small, so weak.
However, something within him that had been buried so deeply was beginning to break free from the darkness within him.
"Help me… Please, help me… Help me… Save me… Senpai!"
A clear voice which sounded as if came directly from Hoshi’s soul broke through the tears.
Seiji finally smiled in relaxation for the first time while watching Hoshi.
"I hear you, Hoshi," he stated in a firm yet gentle voice. "Leave things to me!"