I smile broadly all the way home from school.

There is a skip in my step and a song in my heart, and it feels as if my life is on track, everything is perfect and nothing could ever change how I feel - nothing at all.

I have always secretly liked Jason, and although he went out with Carol for almost two years, I still have a serious crush on him. He is, after all, the most popular, most handsome boy in school, and now it appears, he is eventually aware of my existence.

This afternoon I saw him standing on the steps leading away from school, waiting for someone, and I was going to walk past, as always. I usually pretend I do not notice him, and then at the last moment, I will look up and say, "Hi, Jason," casually, in my over practised voice.

Just as I opened my mouth to deliver my line, I heard him say, "Hi, Elizabeth," in that deep, husky voice of his.

Me?

Abruptly my mind went void of all thoughts and intentions, and although my gut feeling urged me to walk away, the butterflies in my stomach tumbling and dropping, my feet stopped moving anyway.

I turned toward him and said, "Hi, Jason," a bit awkwardly, but making sure to let his name almost whisper over my lips - once again over practised, and my feeble attempt at being sexy.

My mind filled rapidly with screaming and shouting, so loudly, it was difficult to hear myself think and besides, I did not want him to realize he had just made my day, in fact, made my life.

I made a quick exit, before I started babbling, making a fool of myself. My feet started to walk me away again, and I smiled sweetly up over my shoulder, catching his gaze following me.

I cannot believe he actually knows my name. I replay this very short conversation with him in my mind over and over again, the entire way home. I cannot wait to share my news with someone, anyone.

What I did not realize, is that my future is not in my hands, and change is not a choice.

As soon as I walk through my front door, I know something is wrong. My mom and Sean approach me, and if not for Sean's happy smile, I would be thinking someone died. My mom looks cheerful, but nervous, as she comes to stand next to me, putting her arm around my shoulders reassuringly.

Then the radiant, happy smile fades from my face, as my world crashes to my feet.




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