"Whatcha after tonight boy?" Bart called out.
"Condoms!" Aiden yelled. Several people turned and were staring at them slack jawed. Women started to edge away from them.
Behind the counter Bart laughed. "I guess yer not in trouble anymore." Under his breath Gavriel heard the old coot say. "This should be good."
The men spread out and searched the rows. After a few minutes they heard Keelan whisper.
"Sir, I found them," he hissed, trying to keep his voice down.
"What was that Keelan? Did you say you found the condoms?" Aiden shouted from the aisle that held the soap. Nodding frantically Keelan didn't answer just pointed. The men gathered around the small display section and stared.
"These boxes are smaller than the tampon boxes," Darian observed.
Colton picked one up and began reading. He laughed, then stopped laughing, stared and then frowned. "Aiden, I don't think this is right."
"Why?" Aiden picked up a box and began reading. "Says right here Colton, 'Pleasure Pack'. Sounds promising, doesn't it?"
Darian looked down at the boxes. "Aiden, be careful. This one says 'Twisted, Intense, and Fire & Ice'. Sounds like torture devices to me."
In the background Gavriel heard Bart burst out laughing.
Gavriel picked up a box and started reading. "Aiden these things prevent pregnancy and STDs, whatever they are."
Aiden shook his head. "That can't be right. If Meryn said to get them, I'm getting them. She said if I got these we could have a baby, so I'm not leaving the store without them."
"This one says 'lubricated'; that has to be good, right?" Darian asked, holding up his box.
Aiden nodded. "Do you think they come with instructions?" he turned the box over in his hands.
Keelan leaned in and pulled Aiden down. What he whispered had the men staring at the boxes.
Aiden stood up and glared down at Keelan. "They go where?" he demanded.
"Oh stop! Y'all are killing me!" Bart pounded on the counter.
Aiden frowned. "The quicker we get back, the quicker Meryn can explain this to me. Let's just pick some out."
Gavriel stood shoulder to shoulder with his unit staring down at the boxes.
Darian rubbed his chin. "If it were me, I would go with the one with the warrior on it."
Colton nodded. "Agreed."
"Okay men grab the ones that have honored our fallen Trojan brothers and let's go."
From the front counter Bart called out. "Make sure you get the right size."
Aiden looked over to the old man wide eyed. "They come in sizes?"
Bart nodded. "And considering how they're used, you don't want one that's too big or too small if you take my meaning." His mouth twitched.
"How do I know what size I am?" Aiden yelled.
"Perverts!" an old woman hissed and walked past with her loaf of bread.
Bart cackled. "Don't mind Ethel, she's just ornery because no man ever went shopping for her, if you know what I mean."
"Bartholomew Macleod I'll tell your wife you said that to me," Ethel threatened.
Bart shrugged. "Go ahead, she knows you're not getting any either."
Ethel gasped. "Well, I never!"
Bart laughed. "Probably part of your problem."
Ethel threw the loaf of bread at him and scuffled out as quickly as she could.
Aiden looked remorseful. "I'm sorry you lost a customer because of my inquiry."
Bart waved off his concerns. "She'll be back tomorrow, asking which size you bought."
Aiden blushed. "Oh." He turned back to the men. "Is there a chart?"
Keelan shook his head frowning down at the box. "There's no chart. But Aiden, are you allergic to latex?"
"I don't think so, why?"
"These are made with latex, but they say if you're allergic to latex to try some of their lambskin condoms. You don't think they actually use the skin of a lamb do you?" he asked, his eyes looking frightened.
Aiden simply looked over at Bart who shook his head. "Don't be silly boy, that would be a waste of perfectly good leather."
The men breathed a sigh of relief.
"They're made from the lamb's intestines," Bart informed them.
Keelan dropped his box and stood back. "Humans are monsters!" he whispered.
"That's it! Grab the latex ones in the biggest size they have, we're leaving." Flushed the men grabbed at the boxes and headed to Bart's register.
"That's a lot of condoms boy and all of them are in extra-extra large. I didn't even know we offered this size." He blew dust off the box. "You sure you're not being optimistic?" he raised an eyebrow.
Grinning, Aiden leaned in and whispered to the old man. The old man sat back. "You're pulling my chain."
Aiden shook his head.
"No wonder yer woman set your car on fire. I would too if someone came at me with that every night. Poor darlin." Bart rang up the boxes.
"She's no longer angry with me and is talking about having a baby." Aiden said proudly.
Bart stopped mid scan and stared at Aiden. He looked down at the counter of condom boxes and started shaking his head as he resumed ringing up his purchase. "I have got to meet yer woman. Sounds like she has a sense of humor that one. She reminds me of my wife. Okay boy, here's yer bag." Bart held it out and Aiden handed him the money.