"Indian?"
"Right."
Malcolm stared, his face flushing with annoyance.
"You know what an Indian is, don't you, Malcolm?" Brian buffed his fingernails against the front of his sweatshirt, then examined them as if they were the most important item in his life. "They were the people who roamed free over this fine land before the white man came along and booted them out. Any kind of Indian will do…Chippewa, Cree, Iroquoian… I'm not hard to please."
Malcolm drew a deep breath, still glowering at his brother. "You're totally impossible. But you're not going to win this round. Wait here, I'll be right back."
Fifteen minutes later, he returned with a big smile. He held two glasses, and gave one to his brother. "Celebration time," he said, with a swagger. "To my beloved brother's safety."
"Safety? Celebrate? What's up, Malcolm?"
"Your bodyguard. I found her. A live in bodyguard with Indian blood, sex female." Malcolm grinned at his brother's discomfort.
"You have an Indian agent? A girl?" Brian looked dumbfounded.
"Ah, Brian…a woman, not a girl. We don't call women girls anymore. Yes. We have. She's part Indian." Malcolm took a deep drink from his glass. "You'll have to adapt to her. She's not accustomed to high society. She has different customs, a different wardrobe-minor things like that."
"Minor? Explain, please." Brian looked worried.
Malcolm continued to grin. "She doesn't dress like a bodyguard, doesn't move like one, doesn't look like one-but she'll do the job just fine."
"Oh. I see," Brian said, still looking slightly uncomfortable.
"She's all you asked for, in every way. She'll show up at your door tonight around eight o'clock. Live in, you said. Female, you said. Indian, you said." Malcolm's grin was so wide, it nearly split his face in two. "You got it."
"Um. Malcolm, wait…"
"No, no, Brian. I know how much you appreciate what I've done for you. No need to thank me."
"Maybe it wasn't such a good idea. Maybe we ought to talk it over." Brian's face was a study in confusion and concern. "Listen, just let me have a few more nights of peace and quiet before this whole thing becomes permanent." He didn't beg well. It wasn't something he was used to doing.
"One night," Malcolm replied. "One night, then she'll move in with you." He waved his hands magnanimously. "One last night," he said again.