"Naw, it's more than that. Given enough time, I could eat Corday and Fitzgerald for lunch. I've still got some friends and these two will get tired of messing around out here in the boonies. It's just me. I don't feel the same as I used to come Monday mornings. Maybe it's time I hang 'em up. I'll be sixty in the fall. It'd be kinda nice to just think about fishing and TV and not having to wonder what suit is all over my ass because of some dumb new rule. I could collar a dozen perps and someone'd bitch because I didn't line 'em up in alphabetical order."
"You're just mouthing off."
"Maybe. But I never have been worth a damn over the details. I run a good office, but I do it my way, but my way isn't good enough now-a-days." When Dean didn't respond, Weller continued. "I'm not sure I'm up to this job anymore. It's not only the politics." Dean was startled by Weller's seriousness. "Something happened last fall. It kinda stuck in my craw. I was busting up a Friday night drink-out. A bunch of under-agers were boozing it up on beer. They were out in the woods in this spot we all know about. It was going down as usual. I was reading them the riot act and they weren't believing it any more than they ever do, except for maybe the first-timers. Then this one snot-nose gives me the finger. I made a move toward him, and he high-tailed it out of there. I chased him down this bluff but then I started getting pains in my chest and short of breath until I just had to stop."
"Hey, Jake. None of us is as young as he used to be."
"It's wasn't that-I know I'm lugging around thirty extra pounds. But I glance up and this little shit, who looked to be about twelve, is standing on a rock about fifty feet away, laughing his ass off. He knew damn well I couldn't chase him down even if I killed myself trying."
"Did you know who he was?" Dean asked.
"It didn't matter. I was so mad, I unholstered my piece and pointed it right at the little son of a bitch. I know I was doing wrong, but I was so mad, I didn't give a shit. I think I even considered blowing away the little bastard."
Dean sighed. "I imagine you got his attention."
"He wet his pants. But that's not the point. That's the one time I've ever pointed my piece when I had no business doing it. I don't deserve to carry it anymore. What if someone pissed me off enough that I did blow them away?"