Marasphyr smiles, fidgeting with her ring. "You remind me of myself, you know. A long time ago. Back when things were simpler." She pauses. "You asked me why Inferna is my home. There is a reason. Many millennia ago, before the princes were ever cursed, I was but a small girl growing up in a palace. They called me Merina then. I was the blessed child, heir to all of Ava, the land of my people. But I did not behave blessed. Being blessed meant you had to be sacrificial in all things, putting others before you at all costs, making decisions not for your benefit, but for the benefit of others. I tried for a time. I tried very hard. But some things, like who to love, I could not choose for the sake of others. Things that impassioned me, like discovering new lands, I could not abandon for others. And so, when the time came for me to marry and be queen, I could not. Not on their terms, anyway. And so I was banished. My younger sister became queen, and I was forbidden to swim on Ava again."
I touch her hand. "I'm—"
"Don't be sorry. It happened long ago, as I said. And after my banishment, I explored lands and worlds I couldn't even dream of. I even found love, for a time." She drops her eyes, sighing. "Eventually, I made a home on Inferna. It is a good place for one wishing to be private. And there is a beauty to the land." She looks at me. "I take it, you did not pass the guardian's test?"
"No. Because I don't know what I want." To return to Inferna, or leave with Fen.
Marasphyr nods, compassion in her eyes. "I cannot tell you what to want, or what path to follow. But I can tell you that to be torn between two things you love is no way to live."
I pause, thinking on her words. "You wish to travel again, don't you?"
She says nothing.
"But you don't? Is it…" I take a breath, gathering my strength. "Is it because of Fen?"
She looks away. "Like I said, I found love, for a time."
I'm reminded of just how ancient Fen is. How much longer he has lived than me. There are parts of him I may never know. Parts maybe even he has forgotten. We are, in the end, very different beings.
Marasphyr pulls me from my thoughts. "You are with child, are you not?"
I nod, putting a hand on my belly. "Yes."
"Then may I suggest this. Imagine yourself older, your child grown. You tell him or her a story. A story about your greatest regrets. You have many things you would have done differently. But… what makes the top of the list?"
I look down at my belly. "Not saving the Fae."
She smiles. "Then perhaps you have your answer."
I nod, pondering our conversation. I feel different somehow. More certain.
I know what I must do.
I stand and leave Marasphyr by the pond, making my way back through the forest. Until I reach the guardian.
"I seek the moonlight steel," I say, my body still, my mind focused.
The gargoyle bends down, his green eyes peering deeply into mine. " You have a pure heart, but—"
"It wants Fen, and it wants to free the Fae. But if I must choose, it will be the Fae."
His stone neck stretches, examining me from all angles. "You have strength, but—"
"I will learn to control it."
His stone eyes fall back to mine, and he pauses, intent. "You have courage, but—
"I will conquer my fears."
The guardian freezes. For a long while he is silent, his eyes ever watching. "So be it. You know the truth of who you are. The moonlight, you will possess."
And then his eyes close, and he exhales.
It is the last breath he takes.
His stone chest opens, and inside a chunk of steel glows a pale blue. I reach forward and take the moonlight heart.
And now I understand why the test was so difficult. For someone to receive the moonlight steel, the guardian had to die.
Chapter 12
THE RIFT
"You can look now, Princess. Welcome to hell."
—Asher
I find Tavian and Kayla exiting a cave. They look happy, a little too happy. And they stand close together, as if their bodies orbit each other without conscious intention. Wait a minute…
"You got it!" yells Kayla, pointing at the chunk of moonlight steel in my arms.
"How did you pass the test?" asks Tavian as the back of his hand brushes against Kayla's in a quiet way.
For a moment, I grow sad, thinking about the guardian. "I accepted the truth. I didn't lie to myself." Yami chirps against my hair, nuzzling me.
Tavian nods, pointing at the steel. "Will that be enough for a sword?"
I pass the chunk to Kayla, and she studies it. "Wow. It's extremely light for its size. Yes, this will be enough. Now, I just need tools."
Tavian and I glance at each other. We speak in unison. "Oh…"
I clench my jaw, looking around at the forests and ponds. "Where are we going to find tools here?"
"I know where we can find them in Inferna," says Kayla.
"That must be a last resort," says Tavian, waving his hand. "It will take time to forge the sword, yes? Time we have here. In Inferna, we must be ready for battle."
"I know a place," says a familiar voice. Marasphyr.
Her, Dean, and Fen approach, Baron at their side. Yami jumps down to play with the wolf as I exchange a look with Fen. He smiles. By the Spirits, I just want to grab him and pull him back into that cave. But… there are other things we must do.