In some ways, I miss them. But it is a somber and wistful kind of missing. Back then, I was free. I had no realm. No great duty. I only had my father and brothers to please. Perhaps I should never have cared to please them. Perhaps then, I would still be free.
I study the sky, determining the time, around noon, and the stones, determining our location, not far from Stonehill. "We should go. The Waystone is nearby."
Dean jumps to his feet. "Think you misspoke, brother. We need to return to Stonehill. We need to find Tavian Gray."
My jaw clenches. "You'd make dealings with the Wraith?"
"I would do anything for Arianna," he says, his voice soft but strong. "Anything."
So would I. But to sacrifice a man I barely know to a fate unknown… "Tavian has caused us no harm."
"But he is no friend either. What do we even know of him?"
I remember back to the days when we first reclaimed Stonehill. "He's friend to Kayla."
Dean scoffs. "So he says."
"So she says. I saw her with him before she passed out."
Dean curls his fingers, his voice laced with venom. "So she says after torture and drinking poisons. For all we know, he could be the reason she suffers in the first place."
"I do not think so," I say, remembering my talk with Tavian outside the tavern. "Why would he stay then? Why would he stay unless to see her recovered?"
Dean rubs his chin. "Hmm, I don't know, maybe so he can kill her if she does wake? Or perhaps he has other motives. Maybe he's a spy for the Fae. Maybe that's why he hangs around Stonehill."
He makes good points. I know so little of Tavian. But it doesn't mean I can't find out.
"We will try the Waystone first," I say.
Dean rolls his eyes. "Even if the Waystone works, we still don't know where to look for her. If what you say is true, Avakiri is as large as Inferna. Where would we even start?"
He is right, but I must try to find another way. I cannot condemn a man before exhausting all other options. Nor can I make a deal with the Darkness unless it's truly my only option. I don't have a good feeling about this. "We try the Waystone first," I say, and then I lead the way, never glancing back at my brother.
His footsteps let me know he follows, but we do not speak. Not for a long time. I know he scorns following my lead. I do not blame him. I would scorn him, if roles were reversed. We are demons of power and influence, with lives longer than any human can imagine. We were not bred to be followers, even of each other.
Eventually, Dean speaks. "I suppose I need the practice, for when you're king and all."
"I won't be king," I say instantly.
He scoffs. "Oh, yes you will. When Arianna gives you an heir."
"Arianna and I, we haven't… we won't…" I stop, looking at Dean. He has guilt all over his face. "What did you do?"
He smacks his lips. "Remember the night of the celebration? Right before we marched? Well… I may have slipped you a love potion."
"You what?"
He jumps back like a startled animal. "It doesn't affect those already in love, but it can give one a push in the right direction."
"You mean Arianna and I? You mean, this is why I can't remember that night?"
"Yeah. Probably."
My fist slams into his face, sending him flying.
He tumbles through the snow, stopping near a tree. He sits up against the trunk, rubbing his jaw. "Ah, so this is how Asher feels." He glances at me. "Trust me, I did you a favor."
I storm up to him, kicking snow in my wake, as Baron growls at Dean. "A favor? You twisted my mind, robbed me of my ability to choose."
"Because you were taking too bloody damn long!"
I raise my fist again. "Why would you do this? Don't you want to be king?"
He sighs, looking away. And I see the playfulness leave him. "I want this to be over. I want to know she can never pick me. Because right now, while there is still a chance, I still hope. And hope brings only pain when it is a false hope. I just want to be free, brother. I just want to be free of her."
I lower my hand, some of my rage leaving me. "Then choose to be free, brother. Choose to be free and move on."
He stares back at me, his eyes glistening. "Don't you see Fenris? I did move on. In my own way."
I sigh. "And what a foolish way. A love potion. It was only one time then. Arianna is likely not pregnant."
The guilty face returns. "Well, you see, I may have slipped her a potion as well."
"No."
"A potion that almost guarantees—
"It can't be—"
"Almost guarantees pregnancy."
I punch him again.
Harder.
And then I fall to my knees and yell. "How dare you do this? How dare you condemn me to a life of servitude?"
Dean flinches. "Servitude? Brother, you will be king."
"You know I will be a slave to the crown."
He stands, adjusting his jaw. "Well, in that case, we are all slaves, aren't we? You. Me. Asher. So why not be the slave in charge of everything? The slave who can actually change things in this forsaken world? A slave who gets to love the woman we all want? The woman who loves you in return."
I turn away from him, shock consuming my body. "She may not be pregnant. She may not be pregnant. She may—"