‘Becky.’ He finally raises his head and my heart lifts with hope. His eyes aren’t black holes any more. He looks quite calm. I think it’ll all be OK! ‘Were you planning to see me about this today? Is that why you made the eleven o’clock appointment?’
He sounds so reasonable, I relax. ‘Actually, no. There was something else I wanted to discuss.’
There’s another silence between us. Would this be a good time to bring up the raise, I suddenly wonder? I mean yes, he’s cross about the leaflet, but that won’t affect my long-term prospects, surely? Especially not if I’m going to be his special protégée.
Right. I’ll do it.
Except I won’t ask for fifteen. I’ll ask for ten.
No, twelve.
I take a deep breath and clench my fists by my sides.
‘Trevor, I’ve assessed the market rate, and I calculate that a personal shopper of my calibre—’
‘Becky.’ He cuts across as though he didn’t even hear me. ‘This so-called initiative of yours was unapproved, inappropriate and dishonest.’
He sounds so cold and distant I feel a jolt of alarm. OK, forget the raise for now. I’ll just go for the Employee of the Year money instead. I mean, he can’t take that away from me, however cross he is, surely?
‘Um, Trevor, you know how you said I was going to be Employee of the Year?’ I try again hurriedly. ‘Well, I was just wondering …’
‘Employee of the Year? Are you joking?’ His voice has such a steely edge I step back nervously.
I suddenly notice how tight his lips have gone. Oh God, I was wrong. He is angry. In that horrible, quiet, scary way. My hands suddenly feel a bit clammy.
‘You’ve behaved in a way that is to the detriment of The Look.’ His voice is inexorable. ‘You’ve deceived myself and the other managers. You’ve contravened every good practice and protocol of this organization and caused a fracas in front of customers. This is a serious breach of professional conduct. Not to mention embarrassing the entire store in front of Doug Raynor, a major celebrity. Do you think he’ll ever come and shop here again?’
‘I know I should have got permission first,’ I say hastily. ‘And I’m very sorry. But that’s why my sales are up! Because of Shop in Private! All my customers love it. I mean, they even wrote you letters saying how much they love it. The whole place is buzzy, everyone’s happy, everyone’s buying stuff …’
Trevor’s not listening to a word.
‘Becky, I’m afraid that as from this moment, you’re suspended until further notice.’ He looks at me as though I’m some lowly worm. ‘Take your things, please, and go.’
SEVENTEEN
As I sit on the Tube, I’m numb with shock. Two weeks ago I was the star. I was going to be invited on to the board. I was being presented with flowers.
And now I’m suspended in disgrace.
They’re going to do an internal investigation. They’re going to treat the matter ‘very seriously’. Jasmine looked absolutely stunned as I gathered my stuff together, but Trevor was standing right there, so she couldn’t say anything other than ‘Call me!’ which she muttered just as I was going.
And then Trevor escorted me right to the staff door, as though I might try to nick stuff or something. I’ve never felt so humiliated in my whole, entire life.
Actually, on second thoughts, maybe I have. But this is definitely equal with all those other times.
No Employee of the Year money. No raise. Maybe no job at all. What am I going to do? How am I going to pay for the party? I’m trying to think it through calmly but my chest keeps going into spasms of fear.
Could we do without loos, maybe, and tell everyone to go before they come? Could I get Dad and Martin to be the bouncers? I don’t mind doing a bit of valet-parking myself, if it comes to it. Oh God …
When I catch sight of my own reflection in the Tube window, my eyes are all wide and stary. I look like a demented, crazy person. Maybe this is what happens. People decide to hold surprise parties and they end up cracking up under the strain and their whole life falls apart. Maybe surprise parties are a major cause of mental illness. I wouldn’t be surprised.
I’ve agreed to meet Janice and Minnie at Waterloo, and as I approach them I wince. They look so happy and carefree.
‘We’ve had a lovely morning!’ Janice enthuses as soon as I reach her. ‘Haven’t we, Minnie? We did all my Easter cakes and popped them in the freezer.’
‘Thanks so much, Janice.’ I manage a weak smile. ‘I really appreciate it.’